[lovefew-fearnone]

Okay so I'm posting here because I am really not sure of what do to about this. So I ended a very sexual relationship a while ago and in the mean time I have had sexual experiences with women and it has been almost meaningless to me. I used to feel and enjoy everything but now i feel nothing. I went through a phase where it took a near miracle to even get myself to ever "rise" to the occasion and i broke out of it last week or so and now i have a strong desire to put myself back out there and try again hoping that now i will feel something.
The problem besides this is lately i have been hanging out with one girl inparticular who has become very attached to me and has hinted and told me straight up that she wants to be with me sexually. Around her when we are just getting all heated up it takes nothing to "rise" but we have not actually done anything.
I guess I am just really scared of feeling nothing again and again and again. I used to know what love was but now I will be the first to tell you that I have no clue what it really is. I hate feeling nothing. Sex used to be my escape but now it is just another void in my life.
I am not sure what anyone will say but i had to put this out there. For my sake. Please Help.

[Rhapsody]

Originally Posted by enditnow92

Sex used to be my escape but now it is just another void in my life.

Maybe sex is not what you need? - maybe you are really wanting someone to share you life dreams and hopes with and you have just been using sex as glue to hold your relationships together.

I say give this new lady a chance and dont go into the relationship placing to much importance on the physical... instead look for moments to let the emotional side grow as the two of you spend time together and then allow the physical to become a benefit to sharing your life with her and not life its self.

[lovefew-fearnone]

Originally Posted by Rhapsody

Maybe sex is not what you need? - maybe you are really wanting someone to share you life dreams and hopes with and you have just been using sex as glue to hold your relationships together.

I say give this new lady a chance and dont go into the relationship placing to much importance on the physical... instead look for moments to let the emotional side grow as the two of you spend time together and then allow the physical to become a benefit to sharing your life with her and not life its self.

you have a point Rhapsody.... I mean it was the glue that held me to my ex and if not for it then i would never have been in this situation. but anyways it is very hard to get close to her cause she is always on the move and only wants something to do with me when noone is around and she is bored. im about to just give up on her.... i helped her out and kept her from killing herself.... maybe my job is done here.

[Mike_J]

There are three things that for me are key for great sex
1) Love the person you are having sex with - clearly love and sex can be seperate things but when you have them both it's so much better
2) Like the person you are haveing sex with - this one is a often a lot harder espessially if you have been in the relationship for a long time
3) Trust the person you are having sex with - there are more to sex than just intercourse, and sometimes an understanding partner who you are willing to please even if you can't "rise to the occasion" often when you stop thinking about your pleasure and focuse on her pleasure at least in my experience most of the times I have been ablet to "rise to the occasion"

[lovefew-fearnone]

Originally Posted by Mike_J

There are three things that for me are key for great sex
1) Love the person you are having sex with - clearly love and sex can be seperate things but when you have them both it's so much better
2) Like the person you are haveing sex with - this one is a often a lot harder espessially if you have been in the relationship for a long time
3) Trust the person you are having sex with - there are more to sex than just intercourse, and sometimes an understanding partner who you are willing to please even if you can't "rise to the occasion" often when you stop thinking about your pleasure and focuse on her pleasure at least in my experience most of the times I have been ablet to "rise to the occasion"

i have expierenced all three of these and it seems that the third one happens to be the only one effective for me. i have loved and lost. liked and been betrayed. i trust very few people so i believe that i must trust this one. if i want to move on and become anything i need to trust someone and figure everything out. i have been so confused and now i am even more lost than ever. seems that my friends are leaving. noone ever promised me they would stay. but i promised them and now they are leaving.

[Mike_J]

I wish you luck, there have only been two people in my life who have had any kind of clue about how messed up I am inside, and said (not in these exact words) "I'm not giving up on you" and have stuck with me no matter how hard things got.

My wife and my therapist, I love them both (clearly in very different ways)

Friends, family well they all seem to think that I'm not worth putting any effort into.

If there are people who can know me (really know the real me) and are willing to see something good, something worth saving then I believe the same goodness exists in you as well.