[AtreyuFreak]

So I recently posted a thread relating to this, you can look at it if you want as it is somewhat relevant. http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=129182
Basically, it just tells how I've been through SA several times and have many other problems that make it difficult for me to have sex.

There are a few things that perhaps I could have expanded on, because they are a bit more prevalent than I let on.

Within the last six months or so, (I think because we've been decreasing a lot of my meds) my libido has come back, from basically non-existent to a almost healthy/normal level. I'm not exactly a sex fiend, but I think about it about as much as (I think) the average person does. I've never actually had a fully-satisfying sexual experience (or an orgasm), and it causes much curiosity.

I am the kind of girl who gets along better with guys than with girls, and there is one in particular that I'm rather fond of. What makes him stick out more than the others is that (for whatever reason) I trust him, which is incredibly rare for me. I somewhat doubt that he shares this fondness, or thinks of me as anything more than a friend (considering he has a girlfriend), but the fact that I can trust and/or like a man is...amazing! It makes me hopeful, that someday I can feel love for a man without fearing him.

I am currently seeing a PTSD therapist, though we've only briefly discussed the SA in my past. Would it help at all if I were to discuss it more with her? I am skeptical, because obviously there are many painful memories there, and I don't want to go back through it unless there's a good result in the end.

I'd really appreciate any thoughts, opinions, comments, whatever.

[AtreyuFreak]

I forgot to add:

What are things that can increase my libido further, or things that could be keeping it on the low side?

Also, how do I know if I'm ready to "be with" a guy? I feel a bit like a virgin saying this, but obviously I can't just take a guy I met to bed. And I don't want to wait so long (out of fear or anxiety) that the guy gives up, especially if I'm worrying over nothing!

[AShadow721]

Hi. Thanks for putting this out there. I would think most of us that have been sexually abused have problems with "being with" people lol. I'm sure it's normal. Okay, one thing for sure, you must trust the guy. Also, you really need to give the relationship time to bloom, before you move too fast physically. This is true for all women, not just the ones that have been sexually abuse. All women will have a problem feeling satisfied if they are rushed too fast to physically. Women are not like men, we NEED to feel a deep love connection to be able to feel satisfied. Also, especially since you were sexually abused, you do not need to feel rushed at all. That will just make you feel like he guy is trying to take advantage of you and totally ruin your trust. It will totally ruin your chances of having a relationship, because you might start to feel the anger you felt toward your abuser being directed at the guy you're dating. You have to be extra careful in this area, because you were hurt. And to be totally honest, if a guy isn't willing to wait until you're ready, he is not worth your damn time. You need a guy to respect you, your wishes, and your feelings. Please don't do anything too fast, or you might end up getting hurt. Sometimes you don't know who people really are these days. You don't want to do something you'll regret. My mother used to tell me, only have relations with someone you know you could marry.

[AShadow721]

Oh by the way these are the things I know to increase libido in women: Juice, caffeine, and alcohol. I don't recommended the alcohol lol. Deceased would be many things: medications, stress, mistrust, and mental health issues like depression, body dysmorphic disorder, anorexia and bulimia, and PTSD. That's all I can think of right now.