[sleepless0x]

i am bisexual. i am physically, sexually, emotionally, spiritually attracted to both sexes. i don't believe in male or female, i love both equally. apparently there's many different kinds of bisexual people, but i don't like to label myself.
where i live, every little "scene", "emo" girl seems to think they are bisexual. it seems to be in style? WHAT THE ****.
they're making people who are actually attracted to both sexes a ****ing joke. is it because they just want attention from the male sex?

sexuality is not a ****ing fashion statement!

[lynn P.]

I understand what you're saying and your frustration. I answer questions in Q&A and we get many questions from teenagers there about this. I think it's because of the entertainment industry and porn industry. I'm not speaking from a prejudice point of view - I support gay rights and my deceased brother was gay.

[michele#3]

Yes, I agree with you! Bisexuality and being gay are in style. WTF! As if a person's sexual preferance can be dictated by fashion. Personally, I never thought I'd see the day that things would be like this. All it does is make things weird for those of us who are gay or bi.

[NikiPop]

Indeed, I hate people who label themselves, it's dumb.
I hate people who act like something there not, If your attracked to both sex'es I respect that your being honest and not hiding it.
But now'a'days it seems like people are acting bisexual to make themself's "cooler" or to get "the hot guys".
And the people who do these things are really pathetic.

[Nemo39122]

Yeah, it's a very annoying trend in my opinion. It makes people who actually are bisexual not be taken seriously. I think this topic is one of the main reasons I haven't told anyone I'm bi (and don't plan to anytime soon lol)

[lynn P.]

I wanted to ask this question, because we get many questions from teens in Q&A. I was afraid to ask, because I didn't want to insult anyone who's bisexual or gay.

Is is not possible that because being other than heterosexual is more accepted in many circles, young people simply feel more free to admit that they are in fact attracted to both sexes? Or perhaps it is a sign that young people are rejecting traditional gender roles more than they used to, which is also a good thing, IMO.
Is there a rule boook for what constitutes really bisexual?
In case it matters here, I came out as a lesbian in my mid-twenties, after several years of heterosexual liaisons, but the last time I fell in love, in my mid-forties, it was with a man. Personally I am done with labels. I am who I am, and others can be who they want to be too.

[Nemo39122]

I think its a combination of younger people in general being more accepting than previous generations and bisexuality somehow being a trend, so its percieved as "cool" especially for females from what I've noticed.

[Michah]

I agree dear one......

There is a big difference but fine line between being bisexual and sexual experimentation.

One is an orientation and one is exercising choice.

I am bisexual and happily so. Any man that has seen it as a "voyeuristic act" has been given the shove out of my door- boyfriends and male friends alike.

I am now happily engaged to a man whom I love dearly. He is my best friend and life partner and feels completely comfortable with my orientation, although it is not exercised. I am monogamous and always have been.

Maybe these people you speak of lack personal contentment, and need to vocalise "pushing sexual boundaries".......

The amount of times I have had a person, upon learning of my orientation, say "Oh man, thats cool" or run away from me in fright are to numerous to count.

Take care dear one........forgive the masses for their transgressions, for they do not understand.

In stillness,

Michah

Hi sleepless, I have noticed this as well. It bothers me that some are considering sexuality to now be a style. I think everyone is free to experiment with whomever they choose, really, but labelling themselves so quickly is probably not the wisest thing to do.

Also, I love the first two lines of your post, they very much reflect my own feelings regarding my sexual preference.

[NuckingFutz]

Do not make an issue out of people's orientation unless it comes to matters of the heart. Had a friend who swore she was gay...I dated her a few times and it just did not feel right to me. Trying to put us in sterotyped roles. Slept with her one time and it felt mechanical. Soon after she declares she is not gay (surprise...not). That just hurt. Felt like she ran her own experiment in sexual orientation and I got to be the lab rat. Maybe that is why people steer away from bi-curious people. They are not thinking of the other person's feelings. In my opinion, this fashion trend is not a harmless one. Take care of eachother out there.

[Evening]

I don't know if it's just a trend, but perhaps past relationships people have been in too?
My cousin and auntie now both consider themselves, both have also been in abusive relationships. My auntie is with a transexual now and they are engaged, I hate him passionately (nothing to do with being trans though). I don't know if I think they are actually bi though, at least not my auntie. I think because of what he's really like (controlling, manipulative) and my auntie being gullible he's put it in her head that she actually is bi. She's blind as a bat to reality, she can't see what's actually happening.

[muse]

A few things I have learned about sexuality since coming out as bisexual:
Sexuality is FAR more fluid than people give it credit for--it CAN change! Many teenagers (especially girls) are going through an extremely volatile phase of their sexual journey, and feel like labeling themselves as "bi" is easier and more acceptable than saying "I don't know how to define my sexuality." Our society tells us that it's not acceptable to embrace that period of questioning and transitioning between not being a sexual person and being a sexual one (going from a pre-pubescent child to an adult). Some of them are certainly looking for attention and want guys to notice them, but I think more teens are really just looking for a label to best cover up uncertainty. It doesn't make it okay, but that is what we will keep seeing until our society changes and tells us it's OKAY not to know what box we fit in--or to not fit into a box at all.

I also personally believe that FAR more people are bisexual than we think, especially women--but they are made to believe that having such feelings/thoughts is not acceptable, so they cling to one label or another instead of embracing the full range of their sexuality.

That said, I COMPLETELY understand your frustration! I came out to my parents, and I think one of the reasons they don't accept that I'm bisexual is that they don't see it as a legitimate sexuality, for exactly the reasons you've mentioned. I always hated it when my peers "decided to be bi," especially when I rarely, if ever, saw them embracing it fully! I have come to understand more about sexuality as a whole since coming to college, though, and while I don't condone that behavior, I do understand a little more of where it comes from.

[Locust]

I agree that some people are faking it for attention or to be cool. However, sexual attraction and love, are often not cut and dry. Many "mostly hetero" people might occasionally feel sexually attracted or romantically interested in someone of the same gender, even if it's just one person. One lady I knew said she was heterosexual, but she had liked ONE woman before and it was intense. She said it had surprised her, and she's never felt that way about any other woman. She isn't the only person who has experienced that. Also, I suppose it might work the other way around with many "mostly homosexual" people occasionally feeling sexually attracted to or romantically interested in an opposite sex person, even if it's one in a lifetime, or even if it only lasts for a few minutes, and goes away even when faced with the same person later. In my opinion, those people aren't strictly heterosexual or homosexual- they are somewhat bisexual, just not total middle of the road, completely bisexual. You might say they are "MOSTLY" one or the other, but if they are even attracted to one person who doesn't fit, I don't think we can say they are strictly one or the other. Now that it's socially acceptable- and yes, in some places encouraged- to be bisexual, along with the fakes or the confused, some truly middle of the road bisexuals might be coming out due to the safer more accepting environment, while others who are mostly heterosexual or homosexual, but occasionally like the other, might also be more comfortable saying they are somewhat bisexual, but mostly swing one way.

Also, many people enjoy experimenting, and while that doesn't mean they are truly attracted to those people, they might enjoy it on some level, and I think that's okay, as long as you're honest about it and as long as you aren't doing it to meet some societal standard. When I mention the honesty thing, in cases like Nucking Futz, the friend should have been honest about just wanting to try something out. Also, while I don't think women or men should feel forced to touch anyone they don't want to, just to attract someone they do like (in other words, for ex., women should not feel forced to sleep with women just to get to sleep with a man), yet, if a woman doesn't mind sleeping with a woman, or a man doesn't mind sleeping with a man, for ex., and if they are into multiple partners, I don't think it's necessarily bad for them to do something their partner really likes (like bringing in that other party), if no one feels forced to do something that they don't want to do, and as long as everyone plays safe and is happy about it, but they shouldn't have to lie and say they are doing it for themselves.

Anyway, with that said, while I do believe some women and men do it to fit in or stand out (either or) or for any number of other reasons, including (mostly for women) doing it to attract the opposite gender (women making out to attract men), some research has indicated that for women, the lines of sexual attraction might be blurrier on average than they are for men. They showed women and men of various orientations, male and female erotica. Interestingly, while the heterosexual males preferred video of women, and homosexual males preferred videos of men, both homosexual and heterosexual women showed psychological and physical sexual response to the erotic showing heterosexual couples, the erotica showing only men, and the erotica showing only women. I am not saying all women like men and women equally or even close. I'm also not saying that men aren't ever bisexual. I am saying, perhaps more women are likely to experience some degree of feelings for both genders, even if they overwhelmingly prefer one, and perhaps more women, even if they generally are only interested in one gender, might be more likely than men to, at some point in their lives, find themselves attracted to or interested in another woman, even if she's the only one, even if the interest is fleeting.

I guess what I'm saying is, sure some of it is fake, but some of the increase in numbers could be due to people feeling more free to explore their desires, to admit their desires to themselves, to experiment (even if they're not really bisexual, but are curious), and to admit their occasional or long time attraction to members of both genders, to the public.

[invisiblegirl]

As a sexually curious teenage girl I'm willing to admit that I don't know whether I'm truly bisexual, homosexual or heterosexual. I want to experiment and find out. However, I've found a lot of my friends and other kids I know at school feel like they need to find something to label themselves as, even while experimenting and have therefore chosen 'bisexual' instead of explaining that they're just experimenting and actually have no idea what they are. I guess I'm basically agreeing with what everyone else has already said >_< While there certainly is some fakery (girls who seem to think making out with each other is a good way to get a guy), there's a lot of simply curious people who don't know what they should label themselves as. I'm a strong believer in what's on the outside doesn't matter, and therefore would be willing to consider myself bisexual, but I don't really want to label myself until I've gotten a bit older and more experienced.

[Nemo39122]

Originally Posted by invisiblegirl

As a sexually curious teenage girl I'm willing to admit that I don't know whether I'm truly bisexual, homosexual or heterosexual. I want to experiment and find out. However, I've found a lot of my friends and other kids I know at school feel like they need to find something to label themselves as, even while experimenting and have therefore chosen 'bisexual' instead of explaining that they're just experimenting and actually have no idea what they are. I guess I'm basically agreeing with what everyone else has already said >_< While there certainly is some fakery (girls who seem to think making out with each other is a good way to get a guy), there's a lot of simply curious people who don't know what they should label themselves as. I'm a strong believer in what's on the outside doesn't matter, and therefore would be willing to consider myself bisexual, but I don't really want to label myself until I've gotten a bit older and more experienced.

I do understand the need alot of people seem to have to label themselves; with a label its easier to know who you are. I'm sure its sometimes easier to say "I'm bisexual" than "I don't know what I am".
But whatever happened to the label of bicurious? People seem to jump right to saying they're bisexual when they become or notice they are confused about their sexuality.

I'm glad you're willing to admit that you don't know if youre bisexual or not. I know being unsure about this kind of thing can be stressful. Feel free to send me a message anytime if you want to talk. Or just rant lol