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#1
Jul 17, 2010, 02:31 PM
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So my husband has abnsolutely NO sex drive. He has no inclination to have sex, and assumes he could live without it if necessary. When we do make love, its fabulous for both parties. He always ends with, My god why don't we do that more often? That's amazing!" but end up in the same no sex drive rut.
He's had his thyroid and testestrone levels tested - normal. We just started therapy together, and I've learned he sees all women as sexual objects. The first things he notices about women involve sexual thoughts....until he gets to know her and sees her as a person (like our friends). We have sex more often then he masterbates (sex 1-2 week usually...because I initiate, and masterbation maybe once every 2 weeks or so) Yet NO sex drive. What the heck is going on? how is that possible? |
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#2
Jul 18, 2010, 01:01 AM
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Not all men are "typical." Most men see women as sex objects first; that's just how men are. It's normal for a man to masturbate, even if he's having sex with a partner sometimes. It's normal for a woman to masturbate, too.
Some people identify as asexual, but I don't think that's what's going on here, because your husband does engage in and enjoy sex, but apparently doesn't become aroused without physical contact. Not all men are horny all the time. If he has low self-esteem, that could contribute to his lack of a sex drive. Maybe he's bored and needs something new in the bedroom. Hopefully, the therapist can help you and him figure it out.
__________________
Maven If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream. Equal Rights Are Not Special Rights  |
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#3
Dec 31, 2010, 05:07 PM
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Thanks Maven. To update, after 5 months of therapy (together and alone) he's working on a dx of BP. His sex drive returns with manic states, and disappears with depression.
He's terrified if he takes meds for BP, it will disappear all together. 
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#4
Jan 03, 2011, 03:40 AM
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 Oh dear, we have convinced ourselves since the pill was invented that sex is a sport. Before the 1960's it was fear of pregnancy that kept sanity in the bedroom. Now its mood swings, plastic toys and the like. I took up knitting a while ago and now I'm happy until he begs me to love him or I threaten to knit him a new jumper.Quote:
__________________
WHY? 
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#5
Jan 19, 2011, 08:13 PM
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to wifethatwas0102: sex drive returns with manic states, and disappears with depression.
He's terrified if he takes meds for BP, it will disappear all together I live this everyday. When Im manic I cant get enough of any kind of sexual contact, but when I'm depressed I dont think about it as much. When I take my meds, its a 50/50 situation. I've had to learn to not take the meds everyday, but every other day... this works for me. I would never tell anyone to adjust their meds, but this absolutely works for me and helps give me a happy medium. |
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#6
Jan 23, 2011, 11:44 PM
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My husband told me he had no interest in sex either, until I found out he was addicted to porn and viewing it on the sly, then masturbating so much he had nothing left for me, which made me feel rejected and used when we finally did have sex. It became a vicious cycle. He distanced himself from me because he was thinking about his next "porn session" so I rejected him and noticed everything little annoying thing he did which turned me OFF which made me NOT want to have sex with him at all! When I finally confronted him with it and told him I would NOT tolerate the porn, he said he would stop, but I can't help wondering if he is now resenting me because I've blocked the porn sites with "parental controls" on our computers. I hope your husband gets the help he needs and you can resume to a happy, mutually satisfying sex life.
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#7
Jan 23, 2011, 11:46 PM
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Quote:
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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