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Member
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: Hanahan, South Carolina
Posts: 132
15 |
Aug 01, 2010 at 05:04 PM
#1
Hope I have the right thread for this post:
I've been with my finace for the past 12 years. For the past month I've started having sexual dreams about my best friend (male). Some people say our dreams mean something. While others say we have no control over them. I feel like I'm cheating on my fiance because the dreams are so vivid that they almost feel real. I wake up and can't stop thinking about having the dreams and what do they mean. I thought about talking to him (my fiance) about them but am afraid it will hurt him and cause problems. Any advice is more than welcomed. Thanks! Sarah |
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Member
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 147
14 |
Aug 02, 2010 at 12:33 AM
#2
Maybe you're experiencing some fear or anticipation in getting married? I mean, entering marriage is a big commitment and maybe you're living out your last bit of time as a bachlorette through your dreams?
Hope that made sense.. |
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Pandita-in-training
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
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Aug 02, 2010 at 11:47 AM
#3
I believe the purpose of dreams is to help balance us in our waking life.
Were your dreams mine, I'd wonder about having two men in my life in the way you do; my husband is my best friend. It may be you are telling yourself that having two men, one for husband and one for best friend isn't going to work. Or, maybe you are marrying the "wrong" man or, I don't know what; it's your dream so your images and messages to yourself. __________________ "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 42
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Aug 02, 2010 at 12:19 PM
#4
I have had sexual dreams about my friends, male and female, and I just take them with a grain of salt. Your subconscious can cook up all kinds of weird things, so don't think too much of it.
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Member
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: Hanahan, South Carolina
Posts: 132
15 |
Aug 02, 2010 at 05:17 PM
#5
They started when I found out my fiance was talking about another girl in his sleep. Who I found out he talks to all the time. He doesn't remember talking about her. He's told me he loves her, he wants to marry her, he wants to have kids with her. All of it has been in his sleep.
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Member
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 142
14 |
Aug 02, 2010 at 11:06 PM
#6
I'm sorry you had to hear that from him in his sleep. That would upset me for sure. But then again, it is only a dream. If my husband talked about his ex-wife in his sleep, I would probably laugh.
My sister, who is married, had a family friend. This friend of her husband, too, would enter her dreams and she would wonder why, then just brush it off. At parties, she drank and became a little flirtatious with him, but she assured me she never had feelings for this man. She wondered why she kept having dreams of him that were kind of like they were involved. Well, fast forward to now, her husband is living somewhere else, and she is dating this man. Maybe dreams do tell us something? I don't know. Just wanted to share that one instance with you. Dreams are messed up, though. So, maybe you are just fearing marriage? Or you could be desiring your best friend. Which is quite possible. 12 years is a long time to be with somebody and that's around the time some people seem to "wander". That's just my thought. Hope all works out for you. |
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Pandita-in-training
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
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Aug 03, 2010 at 03:36 PM
#7
It sounds like the dreams are telling you how uncomfortable you are with what you heard your fiancé taking about in his sleep and maybe trying to comfort you by showing you the exact same thing "reversed" as if you were the one who had talked in your sleep. You wouldn't doubt you would you? So maybe your dreams are trying to tell your head and heart not to doubt your fiancé in that same situation.
__________________ "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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Member
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: Hanahan, South Carolina
Posts: 132
15 |
Aug 04, 2010 at 05:12 PM
#8
The past two nights I've had dreams (nightmares) of my fiancé raping me. Its brutal. Last night (in the dream) he raped me and the cut a baby out of my stomach and gave it to the woman he was (and still is) talking to. Today I find it hard to look at him I keep seeing the dream over and over.
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Junior Member
Member Since Aug 2010
Location: tha ghetto
Posts: 11
13 |
Aug 06, 2010 at 03:50 PM
#9
i think you should talk to your fiance about sit down and just tell him if he understands then great tell him you dont have any feelings for your bet friend and you just dont know why the dreams have occured. remember* the best relationship is communication
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Junior Member
Member Since Aug 2010
Location: tha ghetto
Posts: 11
13 |
Aug 06, 2010 at 03:52 PM
#10
im not a therapist or one of those people but this drwam could come out of bridal; fear just how many brides or grooms get cold feet.. just dont think nothing of them push them aside.
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Member
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: Hanahan, South Carolina
Posts: 132
15 |
Aug 07, 2010 at 07:56 AM
#11
Thanks everyone. I guess its up to me to figure out what I'm going to do.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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