I've made the worst mistake of my life!!

salukigirl · Dec 19, 2010, 03:31 PM

I agree with AAAAA. Not all men will cheat. And some that do really do feel bad and see it as a one time thing that actually shows them where their heart really lies (with their wife). Those that are cheaters would be cheaters no matter their gender, relationship status, color etc.... that is who they are. But I can say that I am 110% confident that my bf would never cheat on me. He could have girls throwing themselves at him and it would more than likely make him feel uncomfortable rather than make him want them. So I don't really buy into that statement either.

It's hard to tell his real intentions without knowing either of you personally or the situation from the inside. Could he have acted like nothing happened because he regretted what he did to both you and his wife? Or was it that he was using you and after he got what he wanted he didn't care anymore? I find it hard to believe that a guy would put that much effort (2 hour conversation at a coffee shop) into a girl he was strictly using. I see a straight up cheater as a guy who latches on and you are having sex within minutes, not hours or days or even a semester.

I have had my share of one-nighters and have never once put that much energy into a guy I was strictly using. I was pretty straight forward and never spent hours talking with him beforehand.

I'm glad you are feeling better and realize that it is not you and that whatever it was is on him as a husband. You had urges that you denied until HE came to YOU.

Well, whatever comes out of it, Ich wuensche Ihnen das Beste. (I don't know how to make umlauts with my keyboard lol) und froelich Weinachten!

Moose72 · Dec 19, 2010, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AAAAA

I do take a bit of exception to that statement. There still are men and women that take their marriage vows seriously. I get annoyed when people imply that because of their testosterone they are somehow unable to control their urges. I'm sure that is not what you meant. But in my opinion it is a character flaw, not a characteristic of the male gender.

I mean that if you date someone and he is cheating in someone to do so, dint be surprised if he cheats on you. And vise versa.

AAAAA · Dec 19, 2010, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

I mean that if you date someone and he is cheating in someone to do so, dint be surprised if he cheats on you. And vise versa.

That I agree with entirely!

einundzwanzig · Dec 20, 2010, 11:46 PM

I am on a break now. The class is over. I deleted his number from my phone. And no, I dont think he just used me. I think he really cared for me but we both know it was not going to work. That is why he did not talk to me much after the time with him. Honest, I am glad we did not continue this, me going back to Germany, and him having other priorities. It was just too much. He is not the one.

salukigirl- Danke schön und Ich wünsche dir ein Fröhliche Weihnachten auch!

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SlatkaMala · Jan 01, 2011, 06:46 PM

You're not the first person who has made this mistake. I made this mistake, too. I had to cut all contact from him even though he begged and pleaded and tried to charm his way back into my life.

I know how bad this feels.

You're not alone. Many have done this.

JAZZY10 · Jan 03, 2011, 02:40 AM

It used to be called adultery and, society had ways of preventing this happening called morality. You're a victim of a stuffed society darling, nothing more nothing less. Apologise to his wife and move on - he's a bigger bastard than you can imagine, he not only followed his lustfulness like you did, he also betrayed his wife and cheated you of real love - what a huge cock-up. Still, its all right, don't worry, its just the age we live in.

regards Jasmine

Quote:

Originally Posted by einundzwanzig

I am so ashamed right now, so ashamed that I haven't even told anyone in persom about this. I think it's just easier to write this to people who I don't know personally, that way being judged is less intense for me.

Recently, I wrote a post on here in the relationship section about my struggles in wanting a relationship with a man in my ethics class (this is kind of ironic). All semester we have talked and have hung out with each other and since I've grown to what I think of is love him. Now I'm just feeling many things.

Today, after class, he asked me if I would like to get some coffee with him. I agreed since I didn't have any other classes and it's cold so it seemed like a good idea. We went to a coffee shop and talked for about 2 hours, great conversation and he's just so exciting to me. We talked about many things, politics/current events etc.

Later, we drove around for a while and he lives off campus so he took me to his house. I should have seen that this was a bad sign. But no less, I ignored it and that's when things started to happen. This is probably the time I should tell you, he's married, (his wife was at work). Anyway, I finally got the courage to give him my poem I wrote for him a while back, because even then I knew how I felt about him. I had just been working up enough courage to give him my poem (I carried it in my bag all the time, I know I'm lame lol). Since I wrote the poem in German, I had to translate it to him, but he still liked it, like I knew he would. Needless to say now, we made love, at least I would like to think of it as love. Although I know he is married and he won't leave her for me, in that I don't or would not ever expect him to.

On that note, I feel so disgusting right now, I keep thinking maybe I'm dreaming and that it never happened. But the other half of me feels glad that it happened. I guess I don't know how to feel. I am the last person anyone would think would do something like this. I've never done this before and I feel terrible about it.

What advice do any of you have for me? I am dreading class on Friday because that's when I'll have to see him, and it will be so very awkward. I don't want to go, but I have no choice.

Please don't judge me.
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