[youOme]

I had a horrible break out and was diagnosed with herpes. I have only slept with my boyfriend in the last three years. He swears up and down he has not cheated. I want to believe him but I dont think herpes fell out of the sky and landed on my vagina. I trusted him and was finally beginning to feel we were a family. We had a baby together three months ago. Is there a possibility hes telling the truth? Or do I need to prepare for a break up?

[salukigirl]

The thing about herpes is that it can lay dormant until something creates a flare up. I have had cold sores all my life. But it's impossible to tell exactly when or where I originally got it.

Also, there are 2 types. Both can be found practically anywhere on the body. Just one PREFERS to be on the mouth and the other on the genitals, but it is possible to get both types anywhere. Just like it is possible to spread oral herpes through oral sex. It's possible to touch a sore on your mouth and then an open sore elsewhere and spread it.....

It's just sooo variable it's hard to tell. I'm sorry you're going through this and I'm here for you. As far as knowing whether he has cheated, your gut is more reliable than anything else. How do you feel in your gut and in your heart?

[youOme]

I feel hes changed a lot recently. But I dont think he has the time unless his brother knows about it or something is going on at work. Something is definitly not right.

[salukigirl]

Well then it sounds like you have some gut suspicions already. Can you think of times you may have had symptoms that you didn't get checked out? I find it hard to believe that it could stay dormant with no symptoms for over 3 years without it being from him....but that's just my thought. Also, he can transfer it to you without him having an outbreak. So even if you didn't see visual signs, it could still be transmitted.

I hope you two can somehow have an open conversation about everything. I know it sucks to know someone is lying to your face and they still wont tell you. Even when you know exactly what's going on and they STILL lie.....that's the worst. I hope you can get something out of him bc that is definitely not normal. Not to mention the fact that you have children together. You can pass STDs on to your children through natural birth or just passing blood from you to the fetus. And if this was going on while you were pregnant, or if you were to become pregnant again, it could have affects on your children.

P.S. I'm glad to see you around again.

[youOme]

I plan on having a open conversation tonight when he gets off work, no fighting, no yelling. I just dont have it in me anymore. I truly believe hes gotten the best of me on this one. All the signs are surfing in my brain. Either its me accepting reality or paranoia- with good reason though. Also the thought of my baby being affected by this is terrifying. He he risked me and his baby like that I will probably flip.

[salukigirl]

Well hope everything goes well and keep me updated