[Izraehl]

Today I read: Never ask a woman if she wants to have sex by asking her if she wants to have sex.

Is it true? Is it semi-true? Is it just because it's not exciting to do that? Does sex need to be exciting every single time?

Thoughts?

[tohelpafriend]

I think it is very straightforward to ask a woman that; otherwise games develop. Then the woman can establish some rules; like, well, if we have sex, I expect a certain level of frequency of seeing you if I love you; if she doesn't love you, can't say. Yes, if there's chemistry from the beginning, it will be exciting; if routine, there's no love in it. Isn't love exciting? I say yes, love is good; but a man with deceptive motives for sex will never find love there. Wow, hope I didn't say anything over the top; but the above post is an honest question. And what if a woman wants to have sex; must she ask?

[Okami]

Wow. Thats pretty much how I do it...
I mean... Its a fair question to start out with. Also, I guess it doesn't help that I'm currently in a long distance relationship...

When you don't see each other, body language goes out the window.

[salukigirl]

I think the only thing that would be a bigger turn off would be "do you wanna *****?"

Don't ask me to have sex with you. Put even 5 mins of effort into play or flirting. It's not that hard to have me get the hint that you want it. And once the flirting starts, that's what turns me on and GUESS WHAT now I want it too.

That is unbelievably un-romantic. I'm sorry but I'm not that easy. You want this, you gotta work for it. And that doesn't go out the window with being comfortable with each other. When I'm 60 I better not get that crap either. What's so bad about making a girl feel special and pretty for 10 mins to get her in the mood?

P.S. If I really am flipping out - don't say "you're over-reacting" bc you don't wanna know what "over-reacting" really is lol (since we're on the "don't say this to a woman" topic)

[Flooded]

Offer me a back massage and I might think about it

Don't have to be a woman to answer that question. Just asking someone if they want to do it makes it all mechanical and deliberate.

[krisakira]

dunno what to say about this. boyfriend has problems with libido so he has never asked me that in the year that we have been together. But he also has never initiated except sorta 1 time. I know that when I ask HIM if he wants to have sex, the answer is usually no. But if I take some time and rub his back or start taking some clothing items off, sometimes it has worked to get him turned on. Geez, I feel like the male role and him being the female role in our sexual relationship, lol

[RomanSunburn]

I guess I gotta be honest here. I ask my fiance that all the time. Usually if I"m in a joking around type mood or we're watching TV and they're talking about that on the show or something. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I would have no problem with my fiance asking me that. I'd probably make a joke out of it.

We've had problems with the flirting/subtle hints before in the past. We still do that, but they don't work 100% of the time and can lead to hurt feelings, etc. When you ask straight out, there's no confusion. And, my fiance's favorite thing to say about anything sex related? Variety is the spice of life! So why not mix it up a little every so often?