[cheraguileragaga]

I am so confused about my sexuality. I am 15 and feel as though I should be doing things like hitting on guys at school or picking out which ones are hot and which ones look wimpy. I don't seem to be attracted to any guys in my school. When my friends are talking about a hot guy I feel left out because I couldn't tell them if he was good looking or not. No one would think of me as being a lesbian or bi. I'm just not sure because I am friends with a much older woman and I don't know if I am needing her to fill my empty space for motherly affection or if there's another reason. I imagine her holding me at night and I imagine she's there when I need someone to talk to. Is there anything wrong with this? Am I a lesbian? Why am I not attracted to guys?

[scorpiosis37]

I can relate SO MUCH to your situation. All through my teenage years, I would develop friendships with older women and I would dream about them holding me at night, them always being there for me to talk to, and wanting to spend my time with them rather than going out with the guys my friends thought were "hot." I just never understood the feelings and the attractions that my friends developed for guys. Still, I tried to date guys because I thought I was "supposed" to and I thought that, at some point, I would start feeling the way my friends did. But those feelings never came. Instead, my feelings for the older women in my life got progressively stronger. I didn't immediately think I was lesbian or bi though because I'm so feminine in terms of appearance, mannerisms, etc. and I had the (incorrect) belief that lesbians looked or acted a certain way. I thought that lesbians were necessarily masculine, but that isn't the case-- that's just a negative stereotype. Eventually, I realized that I am in fact a lesbian. I'm feminine and I'm attractive to feminine women, and there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with having attractions to women, or older women specifically. There's also nothing wrong with not having attractions to guys. We can't choose who we're attracted to.

I'm not saying you are lesbian, or bi, or anything else. No one can tell you what your sexual orientation is; that's something only you can know (and you will figure it, in time). All I can say is that I relate to your situation, and whether you're straight, bi, or lesbian doesn't matter. They're all "okay" and "normal." Just allow yourself to feel however you feel, about whoever you have feelings for. And don't force yourself to try and have feelings for someone you don't. It's okay NOT to have those feelings, too. Just try and enjoy your sexuality, however it develops.

[littlebitlost]

I realised I was bi at 15.

At 15, worry about school and stuff. Guys will always be there.

Whichever way you are is ok, and when you know, you will know. <3

[eskielover]

I grew up with guys as friends & had no desire to get involved with what I felt was inappropriate girl stuff of going gaga over some hot guy. Guys were guys & I was always just one of the guys, never really relating to girls or women even after I got married, I always found the stuff that women were into (kids & home) to be boaring. I was into career & sports with the guys I worked with after I got my degree.

I did get married when I thought I might have found the right guy....but he wasn't responsible enough to take care of things like I expected. It caused fighting & other issues & even tough we had our daughter & stuck together for 33 years, when I finally left & could get my own identity & values back into what I wanted, it felt so much better to be ALONE. I have no desire to get married again.....thank you, I am perfectly happy & love surrounding myself with my eskies & horses.

My boyfriends growing up were just that.....boy friends. What I am seeing now way too often is girls feeling like they have to have real boyfriends at an early age just to prove their sexuality rather than being sure enough of themselves to just take the whole thing slow without the pressure forcing them to define their sexuality. Just accept yourself & your feelings now....everything else will fall into place at a later time & that's ok too....don't be made to feel that it isn't ok.

[notz]

I'm not saying you are lesbian, or bi, or anything else. No one can tell you what your sexual orientation is; that's something only you can know (and you will figure it, in time). All I can say is that I relate to your situation, and whether you're straight, bi, or lesbian doesn't matter. They're all "okay" and "normal." Just allow yourself to feel however you feel, about whoever you have feelings for. And don't force yourself to try and have feelings for someone you don't. It's okay NOT to have those feelings, too. Just try and enjoy your sexuality, however it develops. ~scorpiosis37

Having loving feelings for a person who fulfills parts of you can be all types of love - friendships included. Enjoy the gentle part of you that is capable of love and the rest of you will become apparent in time.