I have been feeling down. I don't like the word sex. I don't know how to explain it. Maybe I am jealous because others have had it. I have spoken to my boyfriend about sex but it's like sex isn't for me. Yesterday, We were speaking about sex and I showed him a clip of people making love which I liked and after I had a image of cutting in my head. I'm not a person. I guess I have to stop looking at "dirty" stuff. It wasn't, it was romantic. In my head, it's like sex is dirty. When I hear people have had sex or read about stories and people had sex, I feel sad and I think I am useless and I'm a waste. The pictures of blood and cutting calm me down. Cutting is to relieve myself, I don't know how to explain. I don't cut myself but I feel tempted sometimes. My boyfriend is a lovely and kind. It's not his fault but I wished I had it. Other people are soo lucky. It's my fault.

Hi, Happycheeks. Sometimes semantics (words) are so important. You say you don't like the word "sex." The movie clip you like shows people "making love." Have you considered no longer using the word "sex" and instead substituting the words "making love"? It seems that's what you want - LOVE (not sex). Have you asked your boyfriend if he loves you? Do you love him? I think you don't want just sex; you want love. And I think that deep down you want to make love. And that's what making love is about, expressing love for each other. I hope that "making love" with someone who loves you back appeals to you and that it's something you'd like to experience.

Originally Posted by unhappyguy

Hi, Happycheeks. Sometimes semantics (words) are so important. You say you don't like the word "sex." The movie clip you like shows people "making love." Have you considered no longer using the word "sex" and instead substituting the words "making love"? It seems that's what you want - LOVE (not sex). Have you asked your boyfriend if he loves you? Do you love him? I think you don't want just sex; you want love. And I think that deep down you want to make love. And that's what making love is about, expressing love for each other. I hope that "making love" with someone who loves you back appeals to you and that it's something you'd like to experience.

Thank you for your reply I do love my boyfriend and he loves me very much. It's not always about "sex" we talk about. We do show each other funny videos and talk about other stuff. I do want love. I do believe he loves me. I don't like this topic, I should try to avoid it :/

[Butterflies Are Free]

I still struggle with feeling that sex is "dirty" and like unhappyguy's words: "Making love".
It's not your fault at all, it just takes time to work through the issues.

Originally Posted by Butterflies Are Free

I still struggle with feeling that sex is "dirty" and like unhappyguy's words: "Making love".
It's not your fault at all, it just takes time to work through the issues.

It will do