Should I Have to Ask everytime

My partner and i had a healthy sex life up until i had a child and since ive had the child our sex life has been dismal which has made my sex drive crazy which is leaving me wondering what i have done wrong he tells me he is just tired but that never stopped him before i was pregnant.

him doing this is making me feel:
unattractive
resentment towards my son 1 in a month
like having sex with someone else

What Can I Do?

Communication is key, especially now before this becomes a long time bad habit. Couples counseling might be necessary.

It might be about him, not you. Hopefully, a discussion will give answers to help you both. If he refuses to participate, send him to his MD for a full physical, and make sure you tell the nurse on the phone or talk with the MD beforehand and tell the issue. It could be physical.

It could be psychological. He might be worrying about providing in this economy?
You might be giving conflicting messages.
Were you both evenly excitable before the baby, or were you usually the one who generated the act?
Does the child interrupt you?
Could you plan a date night when he knows you expect pleasure? Maybe get a relative or good friend to watch the child? But a weekly date night is a good idea anyway, to redevelop the marriage. The focus may be on the child now, and it needs to shift back to the two of you first.

Just some thoughts.

i can try to get him to get a full physical

we were quite excitable before the baby, i think he uses the baby as an excuse but the baby is not the cause of the problem,

we can not afford datenight

i will try what you have suggested thankyou for your input

Maybe, for datenight, you can find a friend or neighbor that also has a child that you can swap out babysitting for each other.

I grew up poor and we had what we called "No Money Fun" (I should write a book about it)... use your imagination for time together that doesn't cost alot. A night home alone with the baby probably is enough...but a movie and popcorn on the floor in front of the TV might be good... come on, you can think of something? A night out doesn't have to be dinner and dance. Sometimes venues nearby have free night outs... like a zoo or other event site... trying to get people into a habit of coming to their attraction... get a newspaper on the day they list events... you can read one at the library for free...

Did you used to talk for long periods of time before marriage? How did you communicate...and is that what you want to get back to, or better?

ok... just trying to encourage you.. this is fixable and very common. Just don't let it go on too long before fixing it.

Never had that problem till about 12 years ago...I was angry with my wife and still am. One time one of my inmates at the Hospital had aids and spit blood in my eye. No sex for 6 months...that really messed up our sex life.

i will try that no money fun

and our relationship before well he was very affectionate and we talked before we started having sex then we had sex alot then i got pregnant and the sex slowed to an almost stop but the communication still next to nothing and affection is gone

he tucked me in this morning before he went towork i hope this is a start