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#1
Oct 22, 2011, 04:09 PM
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Ok, let start off by saying Im gay and dont know how to tell my family or friends. I have let only 3 people know. I just dont know how I should go about telling people about my sexuality. I'm really afraid and with my parents Im under the most pressure telling them cus they keep hating on gays around me and it really bothers me alot, especially my mom. I just dont know what I should do...
One of my friends' best friend is gay, so should I start with telling her Im gay? I really dont want to be in the closet anymore but I dont want to be hated either. Any suggestions? 
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#2
Oct 22, 2011, 08:02 PM
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Well first, you don't have to tell anyone unless you want to. Don't feel pressured into it, although I know that's alot easier to say than to do.
You're right, it's probably best to start with friends you trust and believe will be accepting. Especially if you decide to come out to family despite the risk of likely not being ok with it. It's good to have people on your side in case things don't go well. I understand wanting your family to know, but sometimes it's best to hold off on telling them if you think they will have a bad reaction, and especially if you still live with them. For example, my family (specifically my mom). My mom is totally ok with gay people. She says there's "no such thing as bi," and that it's "just being perverted." The problem is, I'm bi. So I haven't told them. You said 3 people know....are they friends? How did you tell them? |
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#3
Oct 22, 2011, 08:34 PM
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yea, I told 3 people, all sisters. they all accepted me but it was hard for me but as soon as I told them it was a relief. But I regret telling one cus shes a drama queen and I've been told shes been telling people and thats not what I want and thats what Im afraid of too. telling people who cant hold on to it. I guess we're in the same boat huh cus my mom makes such rude comments about gay people and doesnt come to think about one of her kids being gay. And one of my friends calls her best friend a "fag" and I asked her why she does that if they are best friends and she told me hes ok with it.... with me asking that, it made me a little more comfortable and a little closer in telling her that Im gay too.
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#4
Oct 24, 2011, 07:12 PM
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hey, ivory benz - i'm gay. my experience has been that you should only tell others who you trust and who will not tell others without your approval. also, you should consider setting boundaries, e.g., if a friend calls you a "fag" and you're not comfortable with it, ask them to stop.
regarding telling your family, right now it seems that your mom does not want to know. i know from experience because my mom is homophobic; when i told her, her reply was that i was gay to embarrass her. you are going to need support from friends and other family members before you break the news to her and your dad. so, make sure you have that before letting them know the inevitable, that others who know and support you are aware of what you are about to do and will be there for you regardless of whether the result is positive or negative. please, always play safe -- no exceptions. i wish you the best. |
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