First CONSENTUAL time

Bathony · May 26, 2012 at 02:00 PM

I'm stressing the word 'consentual' cos I'm a rape victim. My so-called boyfriend doesn't know about this but he did asked me if I'm a virgin because we had some *ekhm* problems at the beginning. I didn't expect any fireworks and there were none. I was bored half of the time and revised the clothes vocab for the Spanish lesson (I can't memorise the words for 'shoes' and 'socks'). It was not as unpleasant as I thought but no orgasm. He was surprised I'm s reluctant to do certain stuff (the ones I had been forced to). I'm glad I finally had consentual sex, hahaha, finally and I didn't cry, faint or anything. I totally tricked him, he doesn't suspect a thing. So I can be normal in that sense.

Kate9843123 · May 27, 2012 at 09:56 PM

you ARE normal...and rape doesn't count...this WAS your first time...and the first time with this kid...so things will be better next time...but you did it! congrats lovely!

Bathony · May 28, 2012 at 05:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Funkyymonkeyy

you ARE normal...and rape doesn't count...this WAS your first time...and the first time with this kid...so things will be better next time...but you did it! congrats lovely!

Thanks, I also like to think it was the first time. Kid, lol, he's 27. He was sensitive and didn't rush me, no coercion, no force. He acted very mature when we had a little crisis in the middle. We laughed in bed, totally new for me. I'm very very happy I did it and proved my rapist was lying when he said nobody would ever want me. Gigantic step in my recovery, yay!

MyFathersGirl · May 28, 2012 at 04:12 PM

That's great. It is of course up to you but I'd think about telling your boyfriend about what happened to you. I'm sure he would be understanding and if something happens when you're being physical later on like a flash back of something like that he'd know what is going on. That was he can help you through the recovery and just give you a big hug and hold you if something goes wrong knowing that it has nothing to do with him.

Bathony · May 28, 2012 at 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MyFathersGirl

That's great. It is of course up to you but I'd think about telling your boyfriend about what happened to you. I'm sure he would be understanding and if something happens when you're being physical later on like a flash back of something like that he'd know what is going on. That was he can help you through the recovery and just give you a big hug and hold you if something goes wrong knowing that it has nothing to do with him.

I do knw you're right and I do know he wouldn't leave me because of that. It's disgusting but there was some blood and he stopped, asked me if I were a virgin and assured me it's fine. I was like omfg, what an embarrassement, pressed my hands to my face and thought he would go away but he just hugged me and was all kind and supportive. He's a really good guy but I can't tell him I've been lying to him. And that I'm a ugly filthy ***** and I was six when it started cos that would mean I'm not good enough to be his girlfriend. I don't want to be a weirdo anymore, I want to be for once a normal girl having a relationship ups and downs.

JLarissaDragon · May 28, 2012 at 07:42 PM

You are not an ugly filthy ***** but a loving young woman who deserves to have a normal loving relationship. It is not your fault that you were raped. You were only a child. I just want to affirm that you have no reason to put yourself down and degrade yourself. If he is worth having a relationship, I think he will understand.

Harley47 · May 29, 2012 at 12:02 AM

I've been spending the better part of a few hours in the back of my mind thinking of how I wanted to word my response, but I think JLarissa did it for me.

Congratulations on your first time!

bamapsych · Jun 18, 2012 at 03:05 PM

Tell him your past. If he is anywhere close to decent, then he will be able to help you. It should bring yall closer as a couple if u share the trauma. so glad u had a good experience with him. Best wishes in your relationship journey together

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Kate9843123 Member Member Since Jun 2011 Posts: 41 13 4 hugs given	May 27, 2012 at 09:56 PM #2 you ARE normal...and rape doesn't count...this WAS your first time...and the first time with this kid...so things will be better next time...but you did it! congrats lovely!
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JLarissaDragon Grand Member Member Since Oct 2011 Location: Oregon Posts: 898 13 1,087 hugs given	May 28, 2012 at 07:42 PM #6 You are not an ugly filthy ***** but a loving young woman who deserves to have a normal loving relationship. It is not your fault that you were raped. You were only a child. I just want to affirm that you have no reason to put yourself down and degrade yourself. If he is worth having a relationship, I think he will understand.
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Harley47 Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2012 Location: North Carolina, USA Posts: 1,957 12 411 hugs given	May 29, 2012 at 12:02 AM #7 I've been spending the better part of a few hours in the back of my mind thinking of how I wanted to word my response, but I think JLarissa did it for me. Congratulations on your first time! __________________ The world suffers alot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.- Napoleon Bonaparte
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bamapsych Member Member Since May 2012 Location: Tennessee Posts: 356 12 164 hugs given	Jun 18, 2012 at 03:05 PM #8 Tell him your past. If he is anywhere close to decent, then he will be able to help you. It should bring yall closer as a couple if u share the trauma. so glad u had a good experience with him. Best wishes in your relationship journey together
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