Asexuality: Acceptance?

I am asexual, I have known for years, and I know who I am and am quite comfortable with my sexuality. My friends accept me for who I am, and are completely open to anything like that. Half of them aren't straight either.

Thing is, if for some reason your friends don't accept you, and you aren't okay with that, you can make new friends who do, either online or in real life. There are even website dedicated to this sort of thing. Anyone heard of dating websites? Or social networking sites?

My problem is that irreplaceable people won't accept it. Namely, my mother. I haven't really told my dad, because I know him and that he'd be totally cool. And I'm a girl. I'm not going to talk about sex-things with my dad. My mom doesn't believe that it exists, and that I'm in denial, afraid, or just plain immature. I've referred her to AVEN, but that didn't change her mind.

And I find it funny that she says I'm immature. She says immaturity as though I don't know what sex is like, how fun it can be, what it's like to feel an orgasm, etc. All these "grown-up" things.

Well, I'm almost 19. If I haven't figured out what sex is by now, then there's something wrong. But that isn't my problem with what she says. My problem with what she says is that she KNOWS that I know all that stuff. I'm still a virgin, haven't had sex, and never want to, but I DID have what is called Gratification Disorder. Basically masturbation when you're a child and don't know masturbation and privacy are or have to do with each other.

That's what would piss me off, if I could still remember what anger feels like, and what puts me into depression sometimes.

I just want her to accept me for me. But asexuality doesn't fit her bill, and is not on her list of qualities expected of her daughter. Once again, I no longer meet the expectations, and this time, it's not even something that I can try to fix. I wish that I could do something about it, but I can't. And that depresses me.

Acceptance is something that makes a person feel like they are a good person and doing well with whatever it is. It improves self-esteem and self-confidence. Just like lack of acceptance will do the opposite. I believe that acceptance is important, and something that everyone should have from anyone else, especially those close to him/her.

I included some of my own story with my thoughts on this. I want to hear anyone else's thoughts on asexuality and/or acceptance.

Well, I'm actually asexual as well. I know from what I've read about it being a lack of libido (not a doctor, could be wrong) that causes it but I sort of grew into it, myself. I'm just not attracted to members of either gender nor does sex hold any real value for me. I've been trying to determine exactly which sexual orientation I thought I fit in. Maybe asexual's not the right word for me, I don't know.

As for acceptance, I don't know. I don't feel like it's all that important but that's just my opinion. People tend to have a hard time accepting what they don't understand. For me it's just not a big deal, they're my beliefs and who are they to say that mine are abnormal? The thing is, all sex is, is the way human beings reproduce. Nothing more. That kind of makes me mad, all of the associations people make with it.

Hatter, asexuality is only about lack of sexual attraction. The libido of an asexual is unrelated- some have no libido at all and others have quite high libidos. We have no idea what causes asexuality, just as we have no real idea what causes homosexuality.

Lack of acceptance sucks. When I was younger I thought that because I had a romantic bias towards the same sex, I was homosexual, so I came out to my mum after a few years. Wow, you'd have thought I'd told her I got off on kicking puppies. My brother knows the truth about my asexuality and he's ok with it, but unlike when he thought I was gay he seemed to not really know how to be accepting of it and there were a few jokes that I think were meant to be "hey look at me, being all accepting" but were kinda awkward. I think it's been easiest for me because my family don't make any comments about when I'm going to get a partner and do stuff/marry/grandchildren. Probably because of my long standing depression, they might think I'm too miserable and disagreeable to be going out doing that. I'm not going to bother updating my mother. I get the feeling this would probably be even worse.

Thanks for clearing that up, pandoren.

I just googled what to call "not being attracted to either gender" meaning not be sexually attracted at all. and that was what I got but it was yahoo answers or something like that. I've never really even tried to tell anyone about my asexuality but I just felt like it was my own business and if someone ever tries to talk about sex I'll just tell them then.

Personally I'd never advise listening to anything on Yahoo answers!

I found out about asexuality when someone on another depression site linked to the Asexual Visibility and Education Network and I don't even know why I clicked on it considering I thought I was gay, but in some ways I'm glad I did. In other ways, I think I could have lived in blissful ignorance for longer. It didn't occur to me until I was 20 or so that any partner of mine would want and expect sex with me. I'd only ever considered or desired a loving emotional bond... It was a horrifying revelation and made me sad to realise how different I was.