[jamieco]

Hi, all.

I have been cross dressing most of my life, actually since as long as I can remember. Maybe 10/11 when I first wore my mothers underwear. Since then I have worn women's clothes off and on, thinking it would go away. Now all I want to do is wear women's clothes, I have not interest in even looking at men's clothes any more, and at times I wish I was female. I have tried female OTC hormones, tried breast creams and of course found out that stuff does not work. I keep my legs shaved, my toe nails painted and wear night gowns to bed. In fact if I'm not wearing a night gown I have problems relaxing to fall asleep. All this is driving my wife crazy as I begin to find myself. Many times in the past I tried to stop, would purge my wardrobe and not wear anything, then the urges would come back, usually worse that before. I now dress completely every day while my wife is at work, she knows but does not accept it and will not support me, so I have to find a support group to help me work out me gender identity issue.

Though it does not sound like you are gay, have you tried reaching out to the gay community, e.g., gone to bars with drag queens? You might be able to make friends and explore this part of you more. It may be eye-opening if you find that you have little in common with other male (though gay) cross-dressers (they can be *****y).

I am sorry that your wife is not supportive. Did she know you liked to cross-dress before marriage? It sounds like a difficult and awkward situation for the both of you. You would not be the first cross-dresser who was heterosexual and perhaps that complicates things.

[hanners]

You say you've pursued hormones and breast growth. Have you considered you might not just be a cross-dresser, but transgender instead?

[lynn P.]

I agree with hanners and think a therapist trained in this area would be helpful in sorting out what you really want. Most cross dressers are actually heterosexual men who simple enjoy wearing womens clothes. They have no desire to be a woman physically and still want straight sex. If a man wants to dress like a woman and have physical changes as well, then he might be transgender. A therapist could help you sort out where your desires fall. Don't mess with any hormones until you figure this all out and don't get into any internet products. Good luck.