How do I tell him that he needs to wash his cock in a tactful way ?

My partner and I don't have much of a sex life if we manage sex every other month i'm lucky. I accept that his medications and history combination rob him of most of his sexualily and find it easy to cope with since i became dependant on pain meds because of chronic pain. But we do still make an attempt now and again problems is last time we were getting down and dirty I discovered he had 'smeg' 'knob cheese' which has formed cos he's not pulling back his foreskin when washing his penis. I'm really not sure how to approach telling him, i don't want to kill what remains of our sex life, but if I can't get this right thats exactly what will happen, Especially as he's borderline and holds life long grudges Anyone with advise ? ?

ummmm not sure

What if you showered together and helped him clean his body and he helped you clean yours? Then the two of you would be fresh and ready to play.

Thanks Yoda i think that would work. Accept with my other half who's suffers with skin allergy, so he's purely a bath is for washing yourself clean type of guy

Dear BDPpartner,

When He is in the Bath, why don't you goo in and offer to wash his back for him. He'd love that and then, well,you know.....sometimes hands wonder.

Start a new tradition,

-Fleeing Bellocq

Hi there.

I think the shower thing is a pretty good idea, but the only issue I see is that it can't be done long term...there's no feasible way to shower with him every time before sex.

I will confess I don't know enough about borderline to factor that in to his responses, so please bear that in mind. The best I could suggest without directly bringing it up would be to either relate a "story a coworker/friend/yourrelationhere told you" about an ironically similar situation (wink wink), and hope that he takes the memo. Otherwise, the best thing to do is I would think to, as politely and nonjudgmental as you can explain that, while you enjoy what you have with him and you love him very much, that it's necessary for you that he clean himself a little more thoroughly. It might not hurt to point out that he'd expect the same from you. That, I think, is the best way to go.

I wish you both the best, and good luck.

Hugs,
Harley

I think you should straight up tell him that if he wants sex then he needs to wash himself properly.

Try sitting him down and telling him the truth. It doesn't need to be blunt. Let him know that a freshly washed penis is more of a turn on then one that is not. You also have a legitimate concern you can pass on regarding not only his health, (the build up will make him more apt to get a UTI), but yours as well. You don't need a UTI or yeast infection either. As long as you are tactful and the conversation is just between you and him, it will be less embarrassing. If he doesn't care about either his own or your health, then perhaps its time to move on.

Sam2

There is adult circumcision as a permanent solution. It takes a while to heal though.

offer to shower with him before sex (can also be a turn on) and wash it your self while sudsing him up and kinda let out a small quiet comment like "this is gonna smell so good" if after a few sessions like this he still doesn't get the hint, then stronger measures will be needed, like very gently easing into a conversation about yours and his needs and excitement during sex, and casually slip it in that he needs to be more careful in the shower.

I would hope a lover of mine would be that considerate anyway

I have just straight up went and got a wash rag to mine before and cleaned him with no explanation! Lol. When he asked what I was doing, I told him there was fuzz or something on it.

I'd go straight for his senses. Through whatever method you prefer, get his penis out, as if you are going to masturbate him or give him oral sex. Stroke him with one hand and with the other hand rub your fingers around the head to "catch the smell". Bring the smelly hand to his nose or mouth, then tell him you would have been able to finish him if it was clean.
Seriously, I'm a guy, and bisexual. I hate the smell (and taste) of uncircumsized guy who don't clean down there. I personally got circumsized at 28 because even though I had no disease or problems, I always hated the basic scent I had and couldn't fathom my wife putting my penis in her mouth with that smell.

...Just rub him with a damp warm washcloth.

You know your partner best. I think it may be tough at first, but then its out there. Why walk on eggshells and do all these passive/avoidant shower things when you can help him improve his personal hygiene? My H used to not wear deoderant. There was only so long I could put up with it.

I don't think he would mind honestly, guys know they get ripe, just ask if he'd mind rinsing his junk off first. I really don't think for a second it'd be a deal breaker.