important question....

Does it hurt really bad, for the girl, the first time she has sex? My boyfriend and I have been talking about it, and its been worrying me..... anything to compare it to or anything like that??

I don't know personally, but I've heard that it can be a little more uncomfortable/a bit sore the first few times, especially if the woman is anxious, because you are more tense and that has an effect... and then your body will get used to it after a few times and learn to relax. I think the general idea, so long as a woman isn't drastically tense or has any physical limitations in that area, the good feelings will overtake any discomfort so it will be "worth it".

I guess my advice would be a) try not to worry about it b) only do it when you are 100% sure you are ready c) make sure you do a lot of foreplay to ensure you are in the best physical condition, if you know what I mean and d) perhaps have some lube on standby as well, just for added help. Also, and it sounds like you've got this covered, communication

The first time was not painful for me. It was more like rug burn or something like that the next day. It was not some horrible painful event like I have heard stories about. If it hurt that badly people would not do it again and there'd be no children running around or families w/ multiple children.

I've used an 8 inch dildo on myself and I did not hurt, though I used a ton of lube. However, I've had a guy finger me and I was sore after awhile, though I wasn't very aroused.

It depends. If the guy is rough and doesn't care about you, yes it can hurt. If he is gentle and goes slow, and you have sufficient foreplay/lubrication it might be a bit uncomfortable. Women have been doing it since the dawn of the ages. If there were not some pleasure involved no one would want to do it and the population would die out. It isn't long before you may find sex incredibly pleasurable and satisfying.

In the end though I only speak for myself. I suppose every girl is different

Ive been fingered before and it didn't hurt at all.... not even afterwards, maybe a little burning.....not too noticeable though...

He promised he'd go slow since its my first time.... he said he wanted to do it for love not lust.... and foreplay should be good.... I heard that if you have an orgasm (or 2) beforehand it makes you more relaxed and not hurt as bad

My first time wasn't with a loving bf, he was a total stranger, it was in the bushes and he was 10yrs older than me. I didn't let on it was my first time so he wasn't taking care to be gentle or take it slowly; From what you've just read it probably sounds like i'm about to tell you a horror story, but i'm not. I felt no pain it was a very pleasurable expireance I don't have a single regret about loosing my virginity, but I knew I was ready to take the step. I had no worries about what it would be like, I think I was excited like a kid in the run up to xmas b4 my first time. Where as friends who did it because it was the next step in they're relationship or because they didn't want to go off to college as a virgin did have worries and do look back with regrets and stories of it being painful. If your really ready it should be an amazing event in your life, one that you'll think back about and smile, if your not quite in the right head space it my not be so gr8. Have fun oh and top tip if you do feel like you have rug burn, dry and painful after sex where your partner was wearing a condom, try switching to latex free condoms !

Thanks chick.... ill try it

Just remember that no birth control is 100% sure......just something else to think about......when playing with fire before you are married, there's always a chance of getting burned. It's not all about the enjoyable aspect.....there is a lot of being responsible involved in this also.....you might as well look at all sides of the situation if you are thinking about it in the first place.

My first time was w/ a guy I very much loved it turned out that after we had sex he was no longer part of the picture. He was very gentle though. It didn't hurt. He was very experienced. He was most thoughtful. He turned on the heater in his room so we wouldn't be cold. Afterwards he got me a warm wash cloth. He told me what to expect afterwards as well. Soreness, blood, maybe even the need/want to shower even though I didn't need one. None of those things were the case though. I hate we didn't work out but I can't think of a better experience and person to lose it to. I have nothing but fond memories and that is alot of what it is about. Make it something you will cherish forever. Your first time, your wedding and having a baby are three things you will remember forever. So make it what you want it to be. It sounds like he is concerned and wants to be an important part of this not just interested in one thing.

It hurt for me. The guy wasn't rough or anything, but it hurt. Problem is, it still hurts for me to have intercourse, so some of the pain may have been due to whatever it is that's wrong with me. (I've seen doctors and doctors and doctors over the years, all with different answers or no answer.)

The sex experts say to make sure you're very aroused and lubricated, and it will hurt less.

I know this thread is a little old, but I'm with Maven. My first time hurt. A lot. And it still hurts a few years after the fact. And my husband is always gentle and loving, and always putting me first. Also, the first time we did it.. I bled. A lot. So much that my mother (Whom I told a little while later) told me to talk to a doctor because she thought it was odd how much I bled. Honestly, I look back on it and laugh about how much I bled, and how I had to wash my sheets in the middle of the night in college... And how worried my husband (just a boyfriend at the time) was about me.... How he sat up with me and helped me with the laundry...

Also... Make sure you go to the bathroom after you have sex EVERY TIME. You will regret it the one time you don't....

But I also agree with Eskie... I waited until I was sure I would be ready for any consequence of having sex... If I didn't feel ready to make a decision for if I got pregnant (meaning, none of that "It won't happen to me" thinking), then I kept waiting. Granted, you also have to keep in mind you're not the only one in this situation.. He has to be ready too... Both in regards to the relationship and what happens if there's a pregnancy... And I think the guy side of this tends to get overlooked a lot....

Did not hurt me at all, and no blood, either. Absolutely nothing to write home about. Blah. And I was not particularly aroused/lubricated either, as it was simply friendly sex without dramatic feelings. Still, did not hurt.

Hamster, by any chance, do/did you ride horses a lot, or an activity such as that that supposedly can stretch your hymen or even cause your hymen to break? Maybe you're just lucky, I don't know.

I think that is a true statement about horses. I did my fair share of horse back riding. Every single day like clockwork. Love those horse shows. But anyway zero blood, no pain at the moment. Slight burning the following day. Still went horseback riding the morning after.

A wize friend told me don't have sex w/ anyone you don't want to be married to forever and have a baby with. You just might get that. So don't sleep w/ just whoever or the man of the moment.

I think you're fourteen? In which case it's probably illegal.

It hurt a lot for me the first time (and the second time...and the third time), but I was very nervous and tense so I'm sure that had something to do with it. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to relax enough and actually enjoy it...just part of my nature sadly.

Only once. I do not know - either I was anatomically this way or I was a victim of some horrible CSA at the hands of my very weird father when I was too young to remember it. Do not know.