[sesame]

I've been seeing this guy for the past few months. Basically, over the course of the last few times I've seen him, things have progressed to almost-sex, but not... sex-sex. As in, he'll try to penetrate, I'll try to help him penetrate, but it just doesn't happen.

I saw him tonight, and now that I'm home, my vag is like on and off stinging. Though I've never had penetrative sex before, I'll note that he's much more well endowed than other men that I've been in relationships with (in which we were sexually active orally, but without penile penetration). He's much more thick. I really don't know what to do. He does his best to get me super turned on and wet, but it's still challenging and painful.

Does he use lubricant?

[doggiedo]

Yea, I used to get really sore when my partner didn't loosen me up a little first. It would feel like painful, almost like I have chapped lips-if that makes any sense at all. If there isn't enough lubricant, it'll hurt. KY makes a great silk jelly that helps a lot. Although if u use it after u have tried sex and u are already stinging down there, the the lubricant won't help. Use it as you progress.

[Big Mama]

this is just an idea. When a woman is gonna have a baby often a mid wife will use perenial massage. That might be a good option for you. (fun to) Massage between the two holes and stretch the vagina opening, w/ gentle pushing downward motion, and insertion of fingers w/ side to side sweeping motion at the bottom to relax sphincter muscles. Unlike fingering it is not an in and out motion, but pushing downwards w/ a back and forth side to side motion. Pushing or pulling down (not in, but down releases the sphincter muscle, and tells the body to make more room inside) Plus it is fun. If there was burning like, then you are on the right path.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Big Mama

this is just an idea. When a woman is gonna have a baby often a mid wife will use perenial massage. That might be a good option for you. (fun to) Massage between the two holes and stretch the vagina opening, w/ gentle pushing downward motion, and insertion of fingers w/ side to side sweeping motion at the bottom to relax sphincter muscles. Unlike fingering it is not an in and out motion, but pushing downwards w/ a back and forth side to side motion. Pushing or pulling down (not in, but down releases the sphincter muscle, and tells the body to make more room inside) Plus it is fun. If there was burning like, then you are on the right path.

This idea is actually awesome. This massage, if done correctly, is extremely effective. My third child, who was big to start with (9 lbs and with a big head), decided, for some reason, to wave everyone "hello" as she emerged. She extended her arm all the way up and pressed it against her ear. So the circumference that needed to clear the birth canal was quite big. But the two midwives applied massage and I did not tear a bit.

[hamster-bamster]

I would seek advice of a local home birth midwife. Maybe you can get some lessons - say she would teach your partner? I bet it is a non-trivial skill and a hands-on instruction would be better than reading about it.