Sex is great...?

It could be just your...erm, physical size, if you take my meaning, without necessarily being vaginismus or something like that. I know someone who suffers from that. In that case, it would be a matter of time and practice, I would think...but you shouldn't have to suffer through it until things sort of resolve themselves, and that's assuming they would.

Any progress with perhaps seeing an OBGYN?

My wife has a slight prolaspe that makes some position,s in sex painful, an internal at the gp would tell that.

This is very weird. PP has nurse practitioners and nurse midwives and other professionals who are just as qualified as OB-GYN's. Very weird.

It could be physical size. Maybe over time it will get better? A funny thing, my doctor said that giving birth might actually fix my problem, but she said she wouldn't recommend it! Haha
Planed parenthood has that? My doctor or whoever she was told me she could look around down there but couldn't do much else for me. Maybe it's only for the PP that I go to. Other ones might have more qualified people.

IT wont feel good till the fear of pain is lifted , if your guy is doing it right you will lubricate yourself in forplay, if not dont do it.Your body will react to stimulation from you boyfriend if he is not selfish. Another tip my wife use,s a vibrator before we make lolve and orgasm,s from that ,not penatration just on the clitrus which make entry after easy has she is well lubricated. if i was to just plough in no forplay she carnt be penetrated dry .Also if scared your vagina will not open.

Don't worry I'm plenty lubricated by the time we actually do anything. My boyfriend usually goes down on me and has me orgasm before we have sex. I think you have a point, though, which my doctor always made. If I keep expecting pain I'm going to keep experiencing it and it just becomes a vicious cycle. But I don't know how to get around that.

Hi lady. I have to ask. How old are you?

Mabye try when you are slightly drunk, not your boyfriend or he will be out of order so to speak. The alcohol may relax your body to recieve him pain free , then the spell may be broken, worth a shot.

Earlier on the thread, lady said: "I live in Minnesota, and I am also not sure if the laws are state to state or not. But anyway the required age to go to the gynecologist is 21, but you can certainly make an appointment if you are younger. But like I said in an earlier post, I'd have to talk to my parents to do that and that's not something I'm comfortable with unless its an emergency. ",

so you can roughly approximate her age from that.

For the purposes of your question, a rough estimate should suffice.

she see,s pretty clued up, i come from England and 16 is an age for legal sex , an she could go to any gyno without her parent say, free of charge.

I thought it said my age somewhere on here, I'm 18 years old.

Thanks. "Rough estimates" of age are NOT adequate when talking about these things if the person is a minor. So, knowing that you're 18 and not 16 or even younger is a huge difference.

There is no minimum age for when you can or have-to see a gyn. You go if there is a need and once you are sexually active, there is a need. If you are really 18, then you don't need your parents permission or consent to go to a gyn. They don't have to know about it at all BUT if you're on their insurance, then they are going to eventually find out unless you pay out of pocket and don't use their insurance. But that could end up costing you a few hundred bucks.

All that said, at 18, you are an adult and your parents need to understand that you are sexually active. Why are you so set on not talking to them about this? Some other issues going on? My daughter is also 18.

If consent age was the reason for the question, that varies by state.

Yes the insurance matter was what I was concerned about. One thing I might do is go on my own insurance; I can get on my own insurance for free in the town I live in. The reason I don't want to talk to my parents is 1) it'll be very awkward 2) It's none of their business and 3) I like to keep my sex life to myself mostly. If I tell my mom, she'll tell my dad, and they'll both bring it up to my sisters, and who knows who they will talk to about it? My family is not known for their discretion. I'd just rather handle this issue on my own.

Yes, unfortunately, families with good support systems require good communication and discretion. Remember this if/when you have a family of your own. Discussions like this are always awkward but if you can get past that and trust each other to keep info confidential, it can make a good family even closer. You should definitely look into your own insurance and get to the doctor.

Good luck!

She said she dont want to tell her family, why should she talk about her sex life , you keep somethings to yourself its personal. I no i live in England but we are adult enough to no that kids are sexually active well before 18 thats why is 16 here. i dont poke my nose in my kids sex life an they wouldnt thank me for it. A 16 year old dont have to tell there parents if they dont want, about going to court, SMOKEING legal, but carnt drink or vote till 18. if arrested for anything and they dont want there parents involved at 16 they take it on the chin themself ,the parents cannot be involved if the 16 year old say no. but then again this is England

Families are not necessarily good support systems when talking about sex. It depends on your history and relationship with each other. Ideally you can find an older woman to share your concerns with. In any case you need to feel safe. Having your whole family blabbing about it is not the way to go

It should be easy enough to make up an excuse to tell your mom about why you are going to the GYN (she won't know what happens once you are there.) You could say you keep getting yeast infections and you want to find out why. Or you read an article on women's health that suggested that everyone have their 1st appt at 18. Or you felt a lump in your breast that you want a doctor to look at. Perhaps someone else here has ideas...?

Best,
EJ

Based on what Lady said, "If I tell my mom, she'll tell my dad, and they'll both bring it up to my sisters, and who knows who they will talk to about it?", the question of whether they would keep the info confidential has a very definitive negative answer.

Healthcare professionals in the United States, unlike Lady's relatives, do have an obligation to keep the info confidential. Hence, your advice to get a doctor independently of the family promises much more success, compared to the "discuss awkward issues with the family" route. Plus, why go through the discussion with the family? In what way would it be helpful? Can they solve the problem? No.

Wow. I really feel bad for you people that you don't understand that a mother can talk about sexual matters with her daughters. It's not prying! This is simply getting advice from someone who raised them and loves them dearly. Someone with their full, honest medical background. Do you not remember how naive and inexperienced you were at 18 (a teenager)! The advice in this case happens to be about sex but it's really no different from how to do the laundry or what to do when you have a hang-nail. If there is trust and honesty in a family, of course sexual advise won't work but teenagers often distrust their parents without ever having their trust betrayed. They hear their idiot friends talking about bad relationships with their parents and assume they are going to have the same and feel they need to lie to their parents when they don't.

Why should a teenager tell her mom that she needs to see a doctor? SERIOUSLY? I'll tell you the obvious, since you clearly have no clue. Because it just might be possible that she went thru the same thing. It's her mother! Same physical traits. Ever hear of that? Maybe she can say, "I Love you and I'm glad you came to me with this. Let's get you to a good doctor right away. I hope you trust me with personal things like this in the future. Our relationship can be so much more." Yeah. You're right. What was I thinking. That would be horrible!

I think that professionals who are up to date on the state of the art research or what have you and objective are in general more helpful than parents, but I do see your point in that "she went thru the same thing. It's her mother! Same physical traits.", in other words, that there might be some hereditary information that can be useful. Hereditary information can backfire though - I was, most likely, misdiagnosed as bipolar simply because my mother had bipolar and when you walk into a medical office with that sort of medical history, they assume things instead of actually examining your separate case in isolation.

Even more so, if there are bothersome or unusual physical traits, then the mother should be forthcoming with this information rather than waiting for the daughter to initiate a conversation.

E.g., I had late puberty and I was worried about it when I ended up being the only girl in my classroom without the menarche yet, and my mother did not warn me that she and all the females in my maternal line had had late puberty too.

So I warned my daughters well in advance, in order to alleviate any possible worries that they might develop from being later than classmates (they are later than classmates, indeed).

If indeed according to your hypothetical Lady's mother has unusual physical traits, the onus is on HER to warn Lady about them well in advance of the average age of sexual debut, just as people should warn their offspring about their cancer genes etc.

If Lady's mother has not yet told her about such physical traits, then one of the two things must be the case:

1) she does not have them
2) she does not realize that she has the responsibility to inform Lady of them

In either (1) or (2), there is no point in speaking with her.

Plus, parents have the responsibility to behave in such a way that they are approachable and non-threatening to their children. Lady's parents have already FAILED that responsibility. So there is no point. I already pasted a quote from one of Lady's posts for you: "If I tell my mom, she'll tell my dad, and they'll both bring it up to my sisters, and who knows who they will talk to about it?"

To that you responded with: "I really feel bad for you people that you don't understand that a mother can talk about sexual matters with her daughters. It's not prying! This is simply getting advice from someone who raised them and loves them dearly. Someone with their full, honest medical background. Do you not remember how naive and inexperienced you were at 18 (a teenager)! The advice in this case happens to be about sex but it's really no different from how to do the laundry "

A mother (indefinite article) possibly can, but Lady's mother (her specific mother, without indefinite articles) cannot, because she has shown through her past actions that she cannot keep sensitive information confidential - refer to the quote above.

Also, I have always been under the impression that there are very significant, and even, I would add, material differences between sex and laundry. Have you ever noticed that on this site, there is a forum dedicated to sex issues but no forum dedicated to laundry? If you have noticed that, have you been able to explain the lack of a laundry forum on the site? Why did the site management single out sex without giving the same attention to laundry?

Plus, there is no point in approaching your parents seeking advice about laundry in the age of the Internet anyway. I do not think that parents have an edge in possessing unique information about laundry available specifically and exclusively to them, unless they have filed a patent application with the PTO having invented a next generation detergent formula yet to benefit the humanity, and are willing to divulge their secrets to the children without waiting for many years for the patent to issue.

that is a great list

I remember my sister explaining to my mom what a lesbian was , long time ago mabye. But my mom would have fainted sooner than talk obout SEX.