Why is life so complicated???

LGBT - I wish life was clear cut and straight forward. That our hearts didn't take turns that we had no control over. It's tearing me up.

sugar horse, I am so sorry you are having a difficult time. Please continue to talk to us here. I am more then willing to listen and help where I can ande there are so many others who care about you and want to help to. Keep talking to us. Hope you have a blessed day.

Thank you. I'm just so confused and torn and obviously uncomfortable to discuss this IRL. Even with my T I just skim the top of the story.
I'm not scared to call myself bisexual, but this is just too tricky

Feel free to use me for a guinie pig. I often test things out here before I scare my T to death. It is easier for me to word things the way I feel, and turn to people here to refine the words I really want to say. Questions are asked and things I have not thought about to much come up. That way I don't look look like such a freak or failure or what ever with the T.

It's really hurting me at the moment.

I am so sorry you are hurting at the moment. Feel free to talk to us. We are super understanding. Or you may PM me. Hope you find the answers you are looking for.

I'm sorry you are having difficulties at the moment. It is tough to have feelings that others don't approve of or you are affraid to expose. I don't see why people get so bent out of shape over issues related to LGBT. I made a comment once out of humor. I was at my aunt-in-law's house and her husband cooked some good food. She kissed him and said it was good. I made the comment "This is good food, but I'm not going to kiss you.". The aunt said well good, because if you did I wouldn't let my boys around you. I am straight and I didn't take personal offense to it, it was a somewhat hateful comment to make.

I wish people were more understanding. It is difficult to be at peace with yourself when so many people hate the lifestyle with little cause or reason. I feel there is little that makes men and women different beside a bit of skin, some physiology and some social expectations. We are more people than we are different and we shouldn't be riddiculed for who we love. I hope you find inner peace and resolution with yourself.

What is the milieu in South Africa? With respect to bisexuality?

They are fairly open to the lifestyle here and I think same-sex marriages are approved too. We have some gay clubs and I see enough gay people around. I think to be fair I'd have to say that society is good with regards to being understanding.

It would be hard to suddenly have a girlfriend if I've always only officially been with guys. I mean that it will be difficult around my friends, family, colleagues

I see.

So the official milieu is OK - you won't be looked at with disapproval if you were to, say, appear with a female in public, more or less anonymously.

But the more intimate milieu - your immediate circle of friends and family and colleagues - is not so OK. Not that much out of some kind of prejudice on behalf of the intimate milieu, but more out of habit - they are in the habit of seeing you with males.

Is that about right?

Correct Hamster.
I know it's my life and I ought to love it like I want to. It just takes a strong person to stand up to that

Look... if I were to dye my dark chestnut hair blonde, all of a sudden, my circle of friends and colleagues WOULD notice it.

Not that it is bad. But just... unexpected. People cannot help being used to a certain image of you. A certain routine of you.

If it were true prejudice, then yes, you would need a lot of courage to stand up to that, for sure.

But if it is not true prejudice - it is just that your circle of friends would be surprised - then maybe it is not so bad.

I am not saying that I would ever have the courage to dye my hair blonde, though. Even those things do take courage. Breaking the mold definitely requires courage.

Situation over - she recently got involved with some guy and I'm not even interested in being friends. I know I'm being immature and out of line, but I'm hurting

Hurting seems like a normal reaction - neither immature nor out of line.

Whatever doesn't kill u, makes u stronger. God doesn't want us to be happy, he wants us to be strong.

Strength comes from adversity and pain.

Your path sounds normal to me. :thumbup:

Thanks for all your comments xx

I am actually so angry towards her. I sent her a text to let her know how much she's hurt me. We've both been logged on to Skype all day and she hasn't chatted to me. I have no intention of chatting to her first