[aziza_akos]

I don't know what caused it but I was molested as a child.
If I think about my relationships I view it as a negative experience and I have little to no interest in sex. I would go as far to say as its close to a full blown phobia.
I know its not normal and I don't know what's wrong with me. Its a big reason I don't want a relationship a partner wouldn't understand or would be angry.

Originally Posted by aziza_akos

I don't know what caused it but I was molested as a child.
If I think about my relationships I view it as a negative experience and I have little to no interest in sex. I would go as far to say as its close to a full blown phobia.
I know its not normal and I don't know what's wrong with me. Its a big reason I don't want a relationship a partner wouldn't understand or would be angry.

I am so sorry this happened to you. Are you seeing a therapist? You really need to get some help with the trauma you experienced. ((safe hugs))

[gayleggg]

Lost Key is correct. Counseling would help you get through the pain that was forced on you. You need to start healing. Best wishes.
Gayle

[Harley47]

Key is absolutely correct. Unfortunately, due to the nature of the trauma you endured, being afraid of sexual contact is a rather rational response (your exposure to sex was on highly, highly negative terms, and thus you associate consensual sex with the trauma ). A therapist can help you work past the trauma and dissociate sex with abuse.

Nothing is "wrong" with you at all Aziza. You're experiencing a fairly typical (in my observations) response to an awful injustice. I don't think anyone would fault you for that.

Many hugs, and know you are in my prayers.

Hugs,
Harley

[aziza_akos]

I am seeing a therapist but I feel ashamed it was really hard for me just to write about it. I feel she wouldn't understand most people can't. I feel so broken between this and everything else I'm trying to deal with. I feel like no one will ever want me.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by aziza_akos

I am seeing a therapist but I feel ashamed it was really hard for me just to write about it. I feel she wouldn't understand most people can't. I feel so broken between this and everything else I'm trying to deal with. I feel like no one will ever want me.

molestation of a child is a very common, garden variety concern that therapists deal with. Your therapist has undoubtedly heard stories similar to yours, and worse. Do talk to her - that is what she is for.

I do not mean to diminish the severity of molestation for YOU, but just to point out that statistically, molestation is common, and your therapist has undoubtedly spent many many hours during her training to prepare herself for dealing with the consequences of molestation.