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Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 1,275
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#41
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I don't know how much porn you watch, but if it is in the hours a day range, then maybe cut back a bit and live some. Personally I just need ten minutes and then I am ready for a nap. That is just me though. If you feel you have a problem with it, there are sex therapist you could talk to. Theu deal with this kind of thing a lot and they can help you determine how much it is affecting your life. __________________ "Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy." |
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#42
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#43
I first heard about masturbation at the age of 12 when my younger friends told me what it was and i was like eww that's weird.
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#44
Cant seem to stop the urge sometimes. I feel like getting rid of it right away but I also don't want to ejaculate. doesn't holding back fluid cause prostate cancer or is it the other way around?
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Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 1,275
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#45
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The thing holding you captive is 17 year old hormones. Your body is full of testosterone and it is an evolutionary urge to procreate. We live in a civilised societity and so can't just go up to a mate and start having sex. The next best thing is to satsify the urge with masturbation. From a biological standpoint. From a cognitive standpoint, orgasms feel really good, don't have many drawbacks and you can have one pretty much whenever you want. The thing that may make you feel disgusted is bot being comfortable with yourself, influences in your life telling you it is wrong, or being caught doing it and being embarrassed. Or the possibility of sexual abuse. That is a whole other bag of worms though, and if that is the case I would urge you to seek some help in dealing with those issues. Sexual abuse can create all kinds of internal conflicts and cause a lot of confusion. __________________ "Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy." |
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Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 1,275
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#46
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Not taking care of yourself can cause vasocongestion (slang term is blue balls). It can be painful and really sucks. It goes away in a few hours as the body drains the excess fluid. I remember reading articles that said orgasms reduce the chance of prostate cancer. A.small bonus I guess. __________________ "Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy." |
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Magnate
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: Virginia
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#47
I like to view porn, I am obviously female. My H and I watch together, or I watch alone. Due to circumstances it does nothing for me, but it is nice to see nice female friendly guy and girl porn. Where the people act like they love each other.
I talked to the T about this today. And she said, sure watch it, go ahead. Watch it together or alone, there is a lot to be learned. It is a problem when porn takes the place of opportunities to go out, it is more important then taking care of your needs, in place of work or getting groceries or if it consumes your every waking moment. I really didn't expect the T to say go for it. I have a super sensitive gag reflex. Every time I go to the dentist I know he knows what I do not do. |
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hamster-bamster
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Location: Wonderland
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#48
I'm clearly not as good as Adam K when it comes to advice giving, but I try to tell things like it is.
Maybe it's because I began sexual exploration at an early age, but you seem to be way too old to be just beginning to figure things out. At 17 most guys have already had sex, and yet you are feel guilty and are almost afraid to even touch yourself. You don't allow yourself the freedom to enjoy masturbating or watching porn and for reasons you haven't clarified, you punish yourself when you do enjoy yourself. You act like you are the only person who does this, but the truth is most guys masturbate and watch porn on a daily basis and it is considered normal behavior. Your problem is not an addiction, it's purely an irrational fear of being abnormal. Once you realize that you are just like everybody else who masturbates, you won't feel so alienated. |
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adam_k
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Perpetually Pondering
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Location: New England
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#49
Add Celexa to the mix!!! Completely killed it! Was good when I was getting a divorce(didn't want to go there with him, again, but yeah...)
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adam_k
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#50
There was a male discussing that these meds kill the drive and have other effects. On PC. Maybe, men don't want to discuss that aspect, the way women tend to be open about it??
I believe the original question was age? 12 How often, in and out of relationships, enough to know being on a med that kills my drive isn't what I want in life. If the goal of masturbation, is to have an orgasm..... well...then...now you know. Once told a male friend, who um, was having troubles with his love life, that unless a woman knows how to please herself, how can she be a better lover? ((his loss not wanting to meet me, after 3-6 years of knowing each other via email friendship)) Thought my T was going to go through the roof, when I told him the side effect to Celexa, "Thought you said you didn't have a boyfriend" ((I don't right now...doctor )) Quote:
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Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 1,275
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#51
Prozac killed my sex drive and made it really hard to have an orgasm even alone. I still had sex, but it was more because I wanted to make her happy than I "needed" it. On wellbutrin it is sort of the opposite effect than Prozac. I don't have more of a desire than normal, but I get there faster, which for me isn't a bad thing since before the meds it used to take a little while to finish.
I'm sure meds have a different effect on everyone though. __________________ "Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy." |
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#52
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#53
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#54
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Account Suspended
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
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#55
Do you know American history well enough to understand that you need to treat the issue of your porn use the same way FDR treated the issues with unemployment? Do you get where I am going with this suggestion?
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Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 1,275
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#56
If you want my advice, tell some girl (or guy) that you like them. Even if you only find them mildly attractive and don't have much of a connection. Reach out and develop yourself. I don't mean sexually, but get to know someone romantically. It is what a lot of 17 year olds do, and it will make you feel better about this whole porn thing and not fret so much.
Reach out until you find someone who digs you. Enjoy being 17, and try not to be so critical of yourself. You may get rejected a few times and that sucks, but eventual you will find some who like you and that you like and you both figured it out at the same time. You can hold yourself to rigourous standards, deny yourself masturbation, sex, or even relationships, but what good does that do? I used to be somewhat of a perfectionist, and I was only happy with myself if did the best and it was flawless. I held myself to unrealistic standards for not much good, and a lot of angry at myself for doing what most people do. I'm not sensing you are a perfectionist but I am picking up that you are angry at yourself for doing what comes natural to a 17 year old male. Try to cut yourself some slack and enjoy being 17. __________________ "Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy." |
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Anonymous32433
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hamster-bamster
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#57
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#58
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Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 1,275
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#59
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I don't mean to say you are a pefectionist, but you are hard on yourself. I think you would be happier if you cut yourself some slack and enjoyed yourself . __________________ "Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy." |
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hamster-bamster
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#60
honestly what's the matter with this generation? everyone is so freakin' liberal allowing so many things to happen, like sex, drugs, alcohol, etc...I don't want to be a part of this mess.
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