[hamster-bamster]

I do. Very much so. I care about it so much. On the cognitive level, I understand that it does not matter. But I like being very much impressed with a mighty package. I am so disappointed with myself for being so shallow and superficial. What can I do to get rid of this preference? It's killing me.

[Big Mama]

Hey. I guess you vote first then type. So here goes again. It is not shallow to like big ones. Think of it this way. If it were a recce peanut butter cup they make small ones, they make regular size ones and they make large ones. I like the regular size. The big ones are just to much and the small ones not near enough. It's kinda the same theory. Liking what ever kind of recce cup doesn't make you shallow it's what you like.

I've been w/ Mr.Crayola crayon di**. I've been w/ Mr.Monster di**. I an married to Mr.Normal Di**. Normal is fine, Big is great and sm. is sad usually. I've been w/ small and had the greatest chemistry ever and plesent sex, not WONDERFUL, but plesent but the emotional connection made it so much more.

But it is very much how well you can work the equipment. If the best packaging in the world is in the hands of someone who doesn't know how to use it, it's useless. (well almost)

[hamster-bamster]

I know, I know, useless in bad hands... but, with this new guy who is simply average, I do not even want to work his equipment. At first I thought that it is incomplete without oral and posted about safety but now I am not even sure that I want to fellate him because he is not impressive enough. I like to be choked and I am not sure he can do it. Both ex husbands were very impressive and I miss that, and it is unfair because this guy treats me better than both ex husbands combined (that is not difficult).

On a cognitive level, I realize that he is just fine. He is clearly OK functionally, having fathered 4 children, and he gives me enough fullness in the vagina so there is no problem. But I still want to be impressed. That is what makes me disappointed and sad.

I have a former colleague, Michael, who expressed male interest at some point but was put off by the fact that I was not detached from my ex 2nd H at the time. Now that I am detached, I have invited him to lunch and he said "after my vacation", so he is not wildly into me because otherwise he would have found the time right away. But perhaps he is a bit into me. He is a nice guy - your regular Bay Area software engineer, nothing special, but nice. Weird in a way - lives with his parents. But the thing is, he is very very short, and while I do not care for height in and of itself - I have been with average height men and basketball player height men alike - I cannot help thinking that being so short he is bound to have at best an average package and that makes me not want to initiate anything, even though he is nice and has been very kind to me in the past.

[Big Mama]

Mr.Crayola crayon was simply sad. There was NOTHING, nothing, nothing. Inability to use correctly and not enough size to even be noticeable. I was just being poked by something supposedly. It was bad. He didn't know how to use it at all. I did have relations w/ another small guy, and the connection mixed w/ kindness and compassion led me to want to be w/ him reguardless of the packaging. He was also confident w/ good reason because he knew ho the equipment should and did work.

Could this new man be the same way. Even t hough he doesn't have lots to offer in size, does the chemistry and connection make it different. Would a BJ have more appeal if you knew it was something he loved and for him. That your time and needs would be taken care of in good time.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Big Mama

Mr.Crayola crayon was simply sad. There was NOTHING, nothing, nothing. Inability to use correctly and not enough size to even be noticeable. I was just being poked by something supposedly. It was bad. He didn't know how to use it at all. I did have relations w/ another small guy, and the connection mixed w/ kindness and compassion led me to want to be w/ him reguardless of the packaging. He was also confident w/ good reason because he knew ho the equipment should and did work.

Could this new man be the same way. Even t hough he doesn't have lots to offer in size, does the chemistry and connection make it different. Would a BJ have more appeal if you knew it was something he loved and for him. That your time and needs would be taken care of in good time.

I guess I will ask about the BJ. If he does not care for it (in my whole life I have had one man who did not care, so it does happen though rarely), I am not going to do it, but if he does, well, then, I will try to get excited about it.

[Big Mama]

Simply giving to someone else is validating on it's own. And to be part of something that brings that kind of big "O" pleasure to someone else is a gift. Just the ability to know you can give may be all that is necessary. Who knows maybe he will return the favor.

These instance were all in the past before big issues came about.

I can't be of much support here. Due to past issues as I stated in the last post you had. I will not be giving any BJ's in the near future. Guys can keep there DI**'s for all I care. I let my H get his 30 sec worth and he stays and he acccepts the 30 sec. (or 60 sec, how ever long) He never says no thanks. But after 3 kids if you can muster 30 sec of child free time then you better go for it.

[Raindropvampire]

Guess so far I'm the lone ranger on this Even though I'm 36 when I get a pap they have to use the juvenile speculum. Apparently I'm just built small down there and it's uncomfortable/painful if the guy is big.

However; I don't think you are shallow. You like what you like. Don't apologize for that. Yes it's a shame for looks to get in the way of substance but you like what you like. There are people out there that only date brunettes or skinny people or tall people or fat people. I have a girl friend who is the sweetest greatest person I've met. She is completely flat chested and has had many guys refuse to date her or try just to find out they can't get past the fact she has no boobs. Yes it hurts her feelings but she understands everyone has preferences. Someday she'll find a guy that cares more about personality than boobs or she'll find a guy who likes tiny boobs and they will be compatible. Maybe this isn't the guy for you. You shouldn't have to settle.

PS the guy I dated that had the biggest package was only 5'3". We broke up because I took one look and said you do realize I will NEVER have sex with you right? So don't just count a guy out because he's short. Good luck

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

Guess so far I'm the lone ranger on this Even though I'm 36 when I get a pap they have to use the juvenile speculum. Apparently I'm just built small down there and it's uncomfortable/painful if the guy is big.

However; I don't think you are shallow. You like what you like. Don't apologize for that. Yes it's a shame for looks to get in the way of substance but you like what you like. There are people out there that only date brunettes or skinny people or tall people or fat people. I have a girl friend who is the sweetest greatest person I've met. She is completely flat chested and has had many guys refuse to date her or try just to find out they can't get past the fact she has no boobs. Yes it hurts her feelings but she understands everyone has preferences. Someday she'll find a guy that cares more about personality than boobs or she'll find a guy who likes tiny boobs and they will be compatible. Maybe this isn't the guy for you. You shouldn't have to settle.

PS the guy I dated that had the biggest package was only 5'3". We broke up because I took one look and said you do realize I will NEVER have sex with you right? So don't just count a guy out because he's short. Good luck

OK, I will give Michael a try but only thanks to your post, only. Otherwise I would have said that he is just a generic Bay Area guy and I can have any number of those if I want to.

My dad and another guy I know prefer very small boobs, so I hope that your gf will eventually find someone who will adore her. I mean, these men whom I know do not just prefer small boobs, but out grossed out and disgusted by big boobs. So, it does happen. I also used to have a gf with no boobs but otherwise a good figure with an absolutely terrific *** and she has been very successful with guys. Part of it was due to the fact that she was this unusual female software engineer who is very girlie (girly?), always with make-up etc, with matching high-end clothes etc. - it is highly unusual where I work, highly unusual - and she was also very young, all in the company of guys because the tech industry is still dominated by males by and large. She ended up marrying a middle manager from Apple, but she had other choices, too. So I hope your gf will have her choices as well.

[hamster-bamster]

BTW, that former gf with no boobs, the one married to someone from Apple, she, like you, was tiny down there. Tiny. She told me about her visits to her gynecologist.

[Raindropvampire]

I cringe that I know this but it's a family trait. My aunt has three kids and still has to has trouble with her paps because of her size. All three had to be cesarean. And my mom doesn't like doctors so to get her to get a pap I have to go sit with her and hold her hand. The woman is 58 and they have to use a juvenile speculum on her.

I'm sure my GF will find a guy sooner or later. She likes tall guys so that does limit her. I mean like 6'3" or taller. So she has to find a giant that likes no boobs but I know he's out there. For every kink or curve there is a match somewhere out there.

Hopefully Michael will measure up. I'm so sorry I couldn't pass that up

OP, as a guy I don't think you're shallow. It's a preference that you just like as man I have a preference for brunettes.

What annoys me is comments like the one below

Originally Posted by Big Mama

Mr.Crayola crayon was simply sad. There was NOTHING, nothing, nothing. Inability to use correctly and not enough size to even be noticeable. I was just being poked by something supposedly. It was bad. He didn't know how to use it at all

Mr. Crayola crayon. Why do a lot woman think it's acceptable to post derogatory comments like this? Is it okay as man for me to mention Mrs saggy tits or Mrs celluite ***? Is that acceptable? And btw I'm not small, but many small guys read comments like yours and it knocks their confidence. Do you have a son? Maybe he has a small penis.

[Big Mama]

You are correct. That was not a very nice comment. A lot men do generalize this way and a lot of women do to, but that doesn't make it right. That was quite insensitive of me. ******* I do have sons and I never thought of it that way.*********

Please accept my apology. I should certainly be more careful how I generalize.

Thanks for the apology but I wasn't looking for that. I was just pointing out that for many men this is very serious issue. I think a lot of male suicides ( especially young men) could be related to this.

Oh hamster the giggles I have got from this thread. I know it wasn't your intent, but ty nonetheless.

Maybe I'm odd, and maybe, up until recent situation you are aware of I have been in primarily lesbian relationship throughout my life. I have never understood women who wanted big size. I have to agree with vampire. At 26 still using the juvenile spectrum and I find it painful with large penetration. I have always found good clitoral stimulation to be key for me.

Oh hamster you would so laugh at me now. I'm running with, well I wouldn't call it crayola, but maybe more plump hotdog. He proudly admits that when God was handing out penises that he kept getting cut in line by (add your fave well-endowed person here). He admits his so-called weakness...but oh my how he's learned to work with so little. Absolutely perfect. Only saddened by the limitations in position, he's just not long enuf to stay in and make in work.

Anyways, I have to agree with Big Mama in that you like what you like and there's nothing wrong with that. I hate the idea of being choked and this is the first guy ever that I have enjoyed oral, prob because he doesn't choke me. I also love that no matter how rough it never hits those owie spots. It's never like my spleen is in my throat...uncomfortable....then again he says I have a Yoko Ono. tee-hee

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

Hopefully Michael will measure up. I'm so sorry I couldn't pass that up

You are too funny, thanks!

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Lycanthrope

OP, as a guy I don't think you're shallow. It's a preference that you just like as man I have a preference for brunettes.

Well, I have gorgeous dark chestnut hair .

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Tru_Butterfly

Anyways, I have to agree with Big Mama in that you like what you like and there's nothing wrong with that. I hate the idea of being choked and this is the first guy ever that I have enjoyed oral, prob because he doesn't choke me. I also love that no matter how rough it never hits those owie spots. It's never like my spleen is in my throat...uncomfortable....then again he says I have a Yoko Ono. tee-hee

I did not know how to name what I used to like and you named it for me. I liked the sensation of being penetrated all the way to my throat. Plus, I prefer big packages visually, without regard to how they feel in the vagina. This new guy feels just fine in the vagina, no problem, but visually he does not measure up. I am glad that people responded saying that this is just a preference of mine that does not make me shallow.

[hamster-bamster]

177 people have viewed this and only 9 voted? I mean, out of 177 about 90 are women - why only 10% are voting?

Glad I could help. I can relate to not liking the way they look when, er, um, smaller. I'm just not personally all that concerned with looking at it.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Tru_Butterfly

Glad I could help. I can relate to not liking the way they look when, er, um, smaller. I'm just not personally all that concerned with looking at it.

I think that you might be more tolerant than I am because this r/s with a male is a new thing to you.

[nicoleb2]

I didn't vote because I have only ever had sex with my husband, so I can't compare to anything

[shezbut]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

177 people have viewed this and only 9 voted? I mean, out of 177 about 90 are women - why only 10% are voting?

This is my first time reading the post, but I didn't vote either. My reason is that there's more to it than yes or no. I have been with several different men. All sized differently. A big part is when knows what he's doing & if he is willing to take cues to ____. It seems to take experience on both sides to get to the point where we know what men & women like (generally) and we know how to do those things.

Personally, I think that the "energy" between the man and woman really makes it spectacular. In case you're wondering what I mean by energy, I'm referring to the desire that you feel inside towards one another. And when your eyes lock, fireworks are going off inside both of you. That is energy!

In my experience, when those fireworks are going off size is not a factor. One way or another you're both determined to give the other your all, and bring them to a bliss.

[hamster-bamster]

Well, I do not have that energy for him yet, but things are getting better and I decided that I should be happy that he is average and not small. He really is. So that is a good thing. I also just remembered that I have a "Liberator wedge" which is a piece of sex furniture that deepens penetration and next time he comes over I will use it.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by shezbut

In my experience, when those fireworks are going off size is not a factor. One way or another you're both determined to give the other your all, and bring them to a bliss.

What a great post.

You can't get rid of it! It is who you are and what you like. Guys like bigger breasts etc. by nature, they of course will settle for whatever is on the table lol just like us. There's nothing wrong with it! And I have been witness to the growth factor, guys who have more sex, are bigger....I don't know how it happens but it happened in the two serious sexual relationships in my life, both guys were much smaller at the beginning and after a few months of regular sex, they grew. I don't know how or why but I take this as a sign of use it or lose it. So there's hope for a guy who's not all he could be at first glance. Hope I at least let you know you are not wrong for having preferences, guys do it all the time. Yours truly, Lightbulb7