Hi part2 of my Poly post

I am extremely alone, and depressed with no support. I am very depressed and sleepless. I want a poly relationship with a triad of two girls I am a straight male. I know people are more accepting of it in other cities, but not mine. Everyone is a ****ing ****! They tell me to give on a dream that won't come true. I just want to give up living and hate telling people especially girls I like. Only to find out they are disgusted deep down and want to be my friend forever basically. My mom doesn't ever support me on this she rather bash me for being a satanist or adulterer and get married to one person. I just want to end my life, because I am stuck in the closet and every time I put a foot out. I get attacked from all angles. I just want to be me and there is no room for that lifestyle amongst my friends and family. I am 19 bout 20 and I am very clear with this, I don't want to be with older couples I want people my age. Girls I like, that's it without being treated like **** and have the freedom for it.
Thankyou

I'm sorry that you have felt unsupported by your friends and family. What you are wishing for is definitely not the norm but that doesn't mean it is wrong or that you should be put down for it.

All I can suggest is that you hang in there - there will be other people who will be supportive. As you mentioned there are other cities where you could be accepted more for who you are and in time you will find a place.

I know it is hard now but it won't always have to be like this.

Thankyou that means a lot

I've been very interested in becoming part of a poly triad as well but it's hard finding like minded individuals. Hang in there, hopefully you'll meet some supportive people soon.

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Yeah, there is no one I know. Mainly, because I've tried many times trying to feel secure with my feelings in a mono relationship. I mean I've had this since I was little, I used to have nightmares being forever stuck with a girl that I liked at one point and ended up hating all together. I mean that isn't this issue, it grew into that every mono relationship I had I turned into a ****** person even if the relationship was satisfying to some degree. I hated the thought that I am always will be restricted behind the chains on monogamy styled relationships forever. I really dread it, I can commit Ok, no matter how great the girl is. Like she can be the best thing that has happened to me until like after awhile even if it goes ok.