I'm young and still in my teenage years and have a girlfriend. We've been going out for about 2 and a half months and my parents just found out. Not by me telling them but by them going through my phone messages..
It annoyed me they invaded my provacy and I wasn't ready to deal with their opinon on it. Since they found out its been awkward and really uncomfortable they keep making gay jokes and I can't stand it.
They are probably just trying to make it seem funny or make me more comfortable talking about it with them but I just close up and walk away.
My parents also keep telling me its just a phase and I'll get over it and be normal again. Now that hurt..
Even if it was a phase their saying so is irritating and hurtful. I really love my girlfriend, I don't care if its just teenage love.. its love all the same. I don't know how to talk to them about any of it, or get them to stop with the jokes. I don't know how to deal with it...

[AppalachianAxis]

I can sort-of relate.

When I built up the courage to tell my parents about my Sexual Aversion, they honestly sounded like they would rather I had told them I was gay or bi. Especially my Dad. He makes no secret of the fact that he doesn't understand, doesn't brother trying to understand, my feelings. To him, I'm just in an odd transitional, rebellious phase because how can I hate something I've never done? He means well, and he doesn't try to force his opinions on me, but his refusal to accept me still doesn't feel great.

But in the end, it's us as individuals who define and decide who we are. While our parents approval and trust would mean the world to most of us, it's not necessary to building a sense of identity. So you just keep on being who you are.

As for the whole finding out about your girlfriend via searching your phone. That sets off a few alarms, that's seriously uncool. I'd personally be more mad about this blatant invasion of privacy than them finding out about your dating preferences.
It might be hard, I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your folks, but I'd suggest talking with them about it. Tell them it's not "just a phase," tell then the jokes hurt your feelings even if they are trying to make you feel more at ease, but also have a serious discussion with them about your own privacy. Ask them why they felt the need to go through your private phone messages instead of just asking you.

Best of luck.

I'm sorry you have problems with your parents too. I understand. My dad will tell me constantly how he doesn't understand it or my self-harming. To him if he can't understand it.. its not real. He was really upset when he found out about my sexuality as if it affected him when it really doesn't.

I agree we should decide who we are and its not up to them. I wish they would treat the situation differently but I can't change who I am. It's not like I chose my sexuality and I definetly can't just change it.

I hate that they invaded my privacy that way but its not the first time. It happens all the time. They think I'm going to go do something stupid with some boy and end up pregnant, or get into drugs and drinking like they did when they were younger.

But thankyou and best of luck to you too.

Originally Posted by JaySmiley2

I'm young and still in my teenage years and have a girlfriend. We've been going out for about 2 and a half months and my parents just found out. Not by me telling them but by them going through my phone messages..
It annoyed me they invaded my provacy and I wasn't ready to deal with their opinon on it. Since they found out its been awkward and really uncomfortable they keep making gay jokes and I can't stand it.
They are probably just trying to make it seem funny or make me more comfortable talking about it with them but I just close up and walk away.
My parents also keep telling me its just a phase and I'll get over it and be normal again. Now that hurt..
Even if it was a phase their saying so is irritating and hurtful. I really love my girlfriend, I don't care if its just teenage love.. its love all the same. I don't know how to talk to them about any of it, or get them to stop with the jokes. I don't know how to deal with it...

Firstly, you are normal. You are more than just a sexuality too and I'm surprised your parents aren't acting more adult about this. You sound level headed yourself so I suppose the only thing you can do is state clearly and firmly that you're not ready to discuss the matter further but you would still like them to respect your relationship even if they're not sure about it.

Give things time, your parents might just be a bit shocked about the whole thing. That doesn't however excuse some of the things they're doing even if it's just an outlet for discomfort. The next time they start making jokes or saying something inappropriate, state simply and with civility that you won't tolerate it and then remove yourself from the situation.

Chances are they'd rather be in their daughters company then say stuff they know will cause her to leave. It might also bring them round to the idea that you can't be rushed into discussing the matter more quickly. It's a game of tact unfortunately and you've just got to go along with it as best as you can and be responsible for your own actions, not theirs.

Stay strong. It's wonderful you've found someone you like and I wish you all the happiness with them regardless of what you do or don't come to understand about your sexuality. Good luck.