[Grey Matter]

My partner and I were discussing this the other day (while painting the bathroom of all things). The both of us are asexual, her being a repulsed-asexual, me being more indifferent. That being said, we do make out and the like that doesn't involve sexual attitudes (I know, we sound like teenagers with no idea what we're doing), and we DO manage to have our own kinks. The thing is, we believe it's been so shoved down our throats that kink = sex and that there is no way around it. Though our kinks really aren't sexual, at least to us. (we like power plays, mostly mental things, though I am partial to hair pulling~)

Is this a thing that other people do? We find intimacy in cuddling, massages, etc. We just... don't like sex. I am just really curious to hear if this is a "thing" or not.

[Pandoren]

I've heard about it on AVEN but I suspect that's a place you've probably already been.

It's certainly a "thing" and I'm sure not all kinks end in sex for non-asexuals (although obviously a lot of times that's probably the point). Things like dom/sub dynamics can be played out without sexual acts being involved, for example. I personally can see how even a touch kink (massaging etc) is a kink without being sexual. If it brings you a sense of excitement and intimacy, sex doesn't need to be involved.

[Grey Matter]

Ah okay! Yeah, my partner was browsing AVEN for a bit but was still confused (which, when it comes to these things, is usually are default). We have spoken about it more and want to try some dom/sub play that's going to be all sensory based. I feel like a fool for not knowing this is a thing! hahaha

[Frankbtl]

Hi, JUST from my point of view: Whatever is "pleasurable" in a sensual, sensory, emotional, intimate, mental........ way in a relationship is a "thing".
And absolutely explore what "things" you both enjoy. Every one/every relationship is different so whatever works for you, whatever "things" work for you
Alison

[Grey Matter]

Thank you, Alison!!

[hamster-bamster]

To tell you the truth, as an outside observer (meaning that I read what what people have to say) I cannot comprehend what is SEXUAL about most of these things. So I would think that you surely can do most of those things non-sexually.