[SugarWaterPurple]

I've been really struggling for years with controlling my sexual urges. I'm married, and I'm attracted to women, but I sometimes have sex with men. I'm not really attracted to men, but I know I can get what I'm looking for easily. I will hook up with a dude, feel all bad about it, say I'm not gonna do it again, and inevitably do it again. I try to just masturbate, because then the thoughts of cheating go away after, but too often these thoughts take over, and I'm out doing stuff I shouldn't be doing.

I woke up this morning and the first thoughts in my head were weed and sex. My wife is calling in to work, so I don't know I'd I can stop myself from doing anything. What can I do to stop this?

[Webgoji]

Not good, not good at all. You need to be seeing a therapist and tell your wife the truth.

[Angel of Bedlam]

Originally Posted by SugarWaterPurple

I've been really struggling for years with controlling my sexual urges. I'm married, and I'm attracted to women, but I sometimes have sex with men. I'm not really attracted to men, but I know I can get what I'm looking for easily. I will hook up with a dude, feel all bad about it, say I'm not gonna do it again, and inevitably do it again. I try to just masturbate, because then the thoughts of cheating go away after, but too often these thoughts take over, and I'm out doing stuff I shouldn't be doing.

I woke up this morning and the first thoughts in my head were weed and sex. My wife is calling in to work, so I don't know I'd I can stop myself from doing anything. What can I do to stop this?

This is not good for you, your wife, or anyone els involved for that matter. You need to tell her IMMEDIATELY what is going on. Then I'd see a sex therapist. If this is truly a matter of not being abl to control your urges, and isn't a symptom of an unhappy relationship with your wife.

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[SugarWaterPurple]

Honestly,I know that this is not good. I need to find a way to get all of these Crazy feelings and urges out without doing stuff like this. I talked with my therapist, and she is helping me a lot. I am finally finding the strength to change or get out of this relationship.

[Angel of Bedlam]

Originally Posted by SugarWaterPurple

Honestly,I know that this is not good. I need to find a way to get all of these Crazy feelings and urges out without doing stuff like this. I talked with my therapist, and she is helping me a lot. I am finally finding the strength to change or get out of this relationship.

That's good. It could be related to something that you're not getting in your relationship and it's manifesting in this way. I hope you find resolution.

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[SugarWaterPurple]

I'm not getting a lot of things I need out of this relationship. Not only sexually, but emotionally. She has been there with me through the hardest times in my life, but I finally feel like afterr struggling so much for the past 8yrs or so, I am beginning to "find myself" and understand my emotions, and how to communicate and have stability in my life and relationships.

I don't think it is possible to continue this growth I am experiencing and stay in this marriage. I need to be able to live life on my terms, not have to live by her rules. I have a lot of stuff built up in me, and if I cannot get it out in a healthy constructive way then it comes out in very harmful and destructive ways. I have worked hard to get where I am in life, and I do not want to lose everything, but I don't think things through. I'm very impulsive, and when I get a thought,I just go with it. UGH!

[Angel of Bedlam]

Originally Posted by SugarWaterPurple

I'm not getting a lot of things I need out of this relationship. Not only sexually, but emotionally. She has been there with me through the hardest times in my life, but I finally feel like afterr struggling so much for the past 8yrs or so, I am beginning to "find myself" and understand my emotions, and how to communicate and have stability in my life and relationships.

I don't think it is possible to continue this growth I am experiencing and stay in this marriage. I need to be able to live life on my terms, not have to live by her rules. I have a lot of stuff built up in me, and if I cannot get it out in a healthy constructive way then it comes out in very harmful and destructive ways. I have worked hard to get where I am in life, and I do not want to lose everything, but I don't think things through. I'm very impulsive, and when I get a thought,I just go with it. UGH!

Don't let your impulses destroy everything you've worked so hard for. You are in control, not them.

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[SugarWaterPurple]

Originally Posted by Angel of Bedlam

Don't let your impulses destroy everything you've worked so hard for. You are in control, not them.

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I have always been self destructive, but I finally feel like I'm done with that craziness. I'm somewhat stable and I can think things through before acting on my impulses.

I AM in control, dammit! Feels good to say that.