[skandia]

Sorry if this is a bit inappropriate, but I couldn't find a better place to put it.

First of all, I'm a bisexual trans woman in my mid-20s, and I transitioned a few years ago, and to be honest, I've ended up at a fairly good stage, and I live with my boyfriend, who I love more than anything else in the world. He's just the loveliest man I could ask for. However... my sex drive is really quite low, and on the occasions when I do try masturbating, I often end up doing so over 'shemale' porn. I feel really bad about it, because I feel like it fetishises a part of those women that isn't their entire self, and yet a lot of them are so attractive... Other times it's just over gay porn, or straight porn, or lesbian porn (rarely because it always seems a bit fake), and I don't feel so bad. But I struggle to orgasm with my partner, and I worry that I've become such a sexual deviant that I can't get turned on with an actual person... and I do fancy him a lot.

I just wish I wasn't turned on by those things. Yes, I like women, and yes, I like penises (a lot more than I like vaginas), but I feel like such a bad person because of it, and it's bothering me a lot inside... What does everyone else think?

[Webgoji]

1. You're not a pervert or a sexual deviant or a bad person.

2. Without more information, I'm not one to jump out and blame your preferences in porn. It could possibly be related to past incidents or an inability to be relaxed with your boyfriend. Worry, pushing things, all of those can make it hard to have an orgasm so my first thought would be to calm down, relax and let things flow. If necessary, you may want to see a therapist to work though anything that might be causing you to tense up and not release.

[skandia]

Originally Posted by Webgoji

1. You're not a pervert or a sexual deviant or a bad person.

2. Without more information, I'm not one to jump out and blame your preferences in porn. It could possibly be related to past incidents or an inability to be relaxed with your boyfriend. Worry, pushing things, all of those can make it hard to have an orgasm so my first thought would be to calm down, relax and let things flow. If necessary, you may want to see a therapist to work though anything that might be causing you to tense up and not release.

Thanks, I'll try relaxing and see how it goes. I do often feel tense, because I feel like I'm under pressure when someone else is there.

I'm scared my boyfriend finds out about what I watch, though, and thinks I'm totally weird... and I'd give it all up for him, but my desires would still be there.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by skandia

Thanks, I'll try relaxing and see how it goes. I do often feel tense, because I feel like I'm under pressure when someone else is there.

I'm scared my boyfriend finds out about what I watch, though, and thinks I'm totally weird... and I'd give it all up for him, but my desires would still be there.

It just sounds like classic anxiety to me. For what it's worth, my wife and I enjoy porn together. Maybe you could broach the subject with what he likes to see and then enjoy some together? You never know until you have a conversation over it.

Oh, and you're not weird. I'm weird. My idea of roleplaying is "I'm a paladin with 5d10+4 hit points and a vorpal sword." Yeah, that drives my wife nuts.