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  #1  
Old Jan 24, 2014, 05:30 PM
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RTerroni RTerroni is offline
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I am Asexual and an Asexual group that I am part is trying to march in this years "Pride Parade" in my area. I would like to try to march in it but at the same time I think I would look like somewhat of a hypocrite since despite being an Asexual I don't support most (if any at all) gay rights. I would like to march as a proud Asexual and at the same time would not try to be anyone who I am not (i.e. a supporter of gay rights) but at the same time I don't want to be a distraction to most of the people there. It should be noted that it is called a "Pride Parade" and not a "Gay Pride Parade" so it could be interpreted several different ways. I should note though that the group does not know for sure if they will be able to get a spot in the parade and its far from a sure thing.

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  #2  
Old Jan 24, 2014, 05:42 PM
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Pandoren Pandoren is offline
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I've marched with AVEN at Pride London the last few years, but admittedly my situation is different to yours. In my case, I'm not "proud", I just am, and I'm also an introvert so I don't actually enjoy it either, I only go to promote visibility and education.

I guess in the end, go if you want to go and represent what you want to represent. From experience though, the group you are marching with, if it's an AVEN group, will almost certainly promote different romantic orientations and try to ally itself with other orientations. Asexuals have always been a bit of a "third wheel" in the Pride Parades anyway in my opinion, because it's technically an LGBT event and I tend to feel like a bit of a gatecrasher.
Thanks for this!
RTerroni
  #3  
Old Jan 24, 2014, 07:02 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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What do you hope to achieve by marching?
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  #4  
Old Jan 24, 2014, 07:56 PM
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RTerroni RTerroni is offline
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Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
What do you hope to achieve by marching?
Just to show that I am a proud Asexual
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Old Jan 24, 2014, 08:01 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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And you don't want to march with people who are proud to be gay?
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  #6  
Old Jan 24, 2014, 08:11 PM
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RTerroni RTerroni is offline
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Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
And you don't want to march with people who are proud to be gay?
It's not that I don't want to march with them but I don't want them to think that I support things such as same-sex marriage when I don't.
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Old Jan 24, 2014, 10:10 PM
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What is the purpose of these parade marches? If you're gay, bi, asexual or straight, the vast majority of people don't give a damn.

It's more like a "hey look at me" attention seeking type of behaviour.
  #8  
Old Jan 24, 2014, 10:24 PM
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I support your right and desire to march but I don't understand why you would need to have an asexual march because asexual are not discriminated against to my knowledge.
  #9  
Old Jan 24, 2014, 11:49 PM
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RTerroni RTerroni is offline
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Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet View Post
I support your right and desire to march but I don't understand why you would need to have an asexual march because asexual are not discriminated against to my knowledge.
I think that its not so much that you are discriminated against its that you have an alternative sexuality and you want to embrace it.
  #10  
Old Jan 25, 2014, 12:51 AM
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unaluna unaluna is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RTerroni View Post
I think that its not so much that you are discriminated against its that you have an alternative sexuality and you want to embrace it.
Or NOT embrace, lol. Just to put it out there that there are different choices. And or maybe make married people who arent "doing it" anymore not feel so bad - now they're one of us!
  #11  
Old Jan 25, 2014, 01:55 PM
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Originally Posted by hankster View Post
Or NOT embrace, lol. Just to put it out there that there are different choices. And or maybe make married people who arent "doing it" anymore not feel so bad - now they're one of us!
I'm not quite sure about that, there are Asexual couples but I don't think that is what you are describing.
  #12  
Old Jan 25, 2014, 03:04 PM
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Pandoren Pandoren is offline
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Right. I feel I need to address a lot of points made in this thread.

What is the purpose of the parade marches? Obviously RTerroni has a different reason to me, I’ve already stated mine. Yes, it seems the majority of people are there to be noticed- the outrageous costumes testify to that- but for most of the AVEN people I marched with, they just wanted people to know that asexuality exists and that it’s ok to be asexual, which brings me onto the next question. Going to the Pride Parades are a good medium for that message to be passed on. As well as that, one hopes that people at Pride would be more open minded, or that some of those who are there are actually asexual but have fallen into the "trap" of concluding that if they are not attracted to the opposite sex, they must be gay (not uncommon and can lead to continual confusion or bad situations), or also because for most asexuals, the only support they may get in their local areas are from LGBT groups and not all of those groups accept asexuals. An asexual who feels alone can become very depressed because they feel different, unaccepted and alone. They may fear that they will be single for the rest of their lives (if they desire partnership) or have other concerns that no one off the internet is willing to comfort or advise them about.

Are asexuals discriminated against? Yes. They may not be murdered or persecuted in law, but that doesn’t mean that our experiences are all sweetness and rainbows. The common response to a declaration of asexuality is of dismissal- telling someone they can’t be asexual because it doesn’t exist, saying they should go to the doctor or go to therapy because they MUST have been abused, saying they need to find the right person, telling them they should have sex anyway. They can be the subject of ridicule for being different and continual mocking is a common complaint. On one occasion, I myself was leapt on and groped while someone took a picture- that really shook me. Other people take an asexual as a “challenge” because apparently they are “just playing hard to get”, or else take it as a personal affront that the asexual isn’t interested in them with whatever reaction that entails.
Asexuals who have never heard of asexuality think they must be gay, straight or bi and the fact that they don’t feel sexual attraction at all serves to confuse them greatly and it can lead to depression or to sexual experiences that were unwanted- social pressure or a non-asexual romantic partner. Especially at school where it seems like everyone is doing it, the pressure on someone can be enormous and if someone who doesn’t really desire it, the participation can be both mentally and potentially physically damaging. I’ve heard lots of stories of asexuals who have been forced or coerced into sex acts by someone who supposedly loved them because they thought that was what they were supposed to do or because the relationship would end if they didn’t. I’ve even heard of one asexual who was “correctively raped” although thankfully that is apparently rare.

Visibility and Education about asexuality can also be helpful in that it can explain to a mixed orientation couple why they might be having problems in the bedroom department and they can work it out or come to a conclusion, rather than one partner feeling pressured and the other feeling undesirable. With regards to Hankster’s comment, although that example wouldn’t necessarily be related to asexuality, if it develops that asexuality is more accepted, it might help others in similar situations feel more comfortable with lack of a sex life or a lower frequency of sexuality because at the moment, our society is indeed very sexualised and people who don’t meet up to that are often made to feel bad about themselves.

Also with regards to Hankster’s comment, I feel bound to elaborate that asexuality is not a choice, as with any orientation. Asexuality is where someone does not experience sexual attraction. They may still have a libido, still have sex, or even enjoy sex, they may have a desire for a romantic partner, but they do not experience sexual attraction, which is the key thing and the basis for any definition of orientation. It’s a difficult distinction to make for someone who feels all of these things, but to an asexual it makes sense. If anyone like me to go further into that, feel free to PM me. The only “choice” about any orientation is what you do or don’t do with it, not who you do or don’t do it with.
Hugs from:
AppalachianAxis
Thanks for this!
unaluna
  #13  
Old Jan 25, 2014, 04:58 PM
AppalachianAxis AppalachianAxis is offline
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As to your original question, yeah, I'd have to say I would find supporting Asexual rights, freedoms, and recognition whilst being against those same rights for Homosexuals to be pretty hypocritical.
You're free to have your own beliefs of course, do what you find to be right, but that's just my two cents.
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