What do you/would like to know about BDSM

ETA What cannibalcutie666 said is true also and thanks for pointing that out.

BDSM is like an all-you-can-eat buffet.....there are no rules and you can pick and choose those aspects that appeal to you and your partner.

I think that will make things confusing. Structure in a BDSM relationship is extremely important, especially as a novice.

That all depends on the novice.To some people, a rigid system full of protocol and rules can be very unappealing. However, it does seem that some people prefer to have guidelines and examples to follow. I personally find that it is harder to discover what you are 'into' or what you 'identify as' when you are thrust into a world of preset ideas and labels. But that's just me. I always hated the topic of "How can I be a good sub" (or other such self-appointed title). I would hold my tongue, but I always felt like saying, "The best way to be a good sub, is to stop trying to be a good sub."
One of the more detrimental things in BDSM is trying to fit yourself into someone elses little mold of what your role should be (I've been there). Once a person can let go of that concept and embrace themselves for what they want and need, they often find that they are much happier with the outcome of their interludes. More often than not, this seems to be a pilgrimage that most newbies to the world of BDSM seem to go through. I know I did. haha
I would have saved myself a lot of headache and problems if I had just been more choosey and assertive of what I had wanted (and did not want) from the get go; and not listened to the structure of others.

I'm sorry I should clarify....as a COUPLE you can pick and choose whatever appeals to you....one couple may enjoy spanking but not so much hot wax. Another couple might like floggers, but not humiliation....you get the idea.

I ended up not doing the speech, because the teacher told me it had to be something else...he said I can do that for my "asserting individuality" speech, but I'm not sure if I'm comfortable talking to the class about BDSM

I'll probably be doing it for my "seeking adherence" aka my persuasion essay.

My next speech is on BDSM. My audience is my best friend, not the class, and my goal for the speech is seeking adherence or persuading someone into feeling a certain way. This is a very basic rough draft of my speech. Tell me what you think.

Thesis: Your sex life will benefit by clearing misconceptions regarding BDSM.

I Problem: There are many misconceptions regarding BDSM.

A. Kink is a spectrum.
i. “Vanilla” relationships on one extreme like to spice things up while “kinky” relationships on the other live a 24/7 lifestyle.
ii. Dominant does not equal “domineering”.
a. By definition, “dominant” does not mean “to dominate”—it means “to control”.

B. Kink is not abuse.
i. All BDSM relationships practice safe sex.
a. Most people understand that a “safe word” is an abstract word used to stop play, but most people are unaware of
b. “Soft limits” vs “hard limits”: Personal boundaries or limits agreed upon before play.

II Cause: There are many misconceptions regarding the BDSM community.

A. Pop culture portrays a negative view on the BDSM community.
i. 50 Shades of Grey

B. Mental health is one of the main concerns of the BDSM community.
i. Is it “normal” to be kinky?

III Solution: Your sex life will benefit by clearing misconceptions regarding BDSM.

A. Understanding where you stand on the kink spectrum will empower your sexuality.

B. Understanding that kink is not abuse will empower your relationships.

C. Understanding BDSM will shed light on the power of pop culture.

D. Understanding that BDSM is not a sign of a mental illness will empower your sexual identity.

This is a ten minute speech

Just from a public speaking perspective, be careful of overusing the term "empower" in your actual verbal speaking. When you go back to that term more than once, it indicates a lack of preparedness meaning that the subject needs expansion or further review.

No, the teacher specifically wants us to repeat the same terms for simplicity. He doesn't want us getting complex with our speeches, and mine is pretty out there.

Also, this doesn't include any research, intro/conclusion, transitions, etc.

Gotcha. Sometimes that's the case with speech classes.

Then ... swing away! And good luck!

I've always been confused on what it is exactly. I hear it a lot now, but I want to know what it is. I might be able to start learning more about it if I can get a general sense of what it is.

hm, maybe I'll end up writing my speech as I describe it to you...

Well, where to begin? What do you want to know about?

Have you considered going into the history of BDSM and how it is absolutely nothing new? I would make a list of common misconceptions, and then address each one by giving the audience the reality of the situation.

I am actually living BDSM, not something I like everyone to know, but if you have any questions, just pm me, and I can help you out if you need to.

I just want to find out what it is exactly. The definition of it would be nice, or maybe a description of it would help a lot.

BDSM is an acronym for Bondage/Discipline, Domination/Submission, Sadism/Masochism.

Oh, ok!! I get it now! I never understood that until now. Thanks, Doc. You're the best!

I have a D/s relationship with my non-sexual life partner (we're both asexual and the relationship isn't 24/7, but our moods with it seem to synchronize). I feel like, when talking about any terminology that can be related to sex, it's good to remind others that it is not just a sexual thing. I mean, we are both 23 and we have been together for 7 or 8 years and neither of us knew kink could be non-sexual until THIS year! Madness! haha