[random...girl...23]

i dont know if this is the right site for this but I need to talk to someone about it because i have no idea what to do and its starting to effect my relationships and my life.

everytime ive had sex from the time since i lost my virginity i had sex for the guy to stick around. it was something intitmate to do it was just a physical act. from when i was 17 and on i found that guys wanted to have sex with me. and if they wanted to sleep with me isnt that the same thing as wanting me? in my head it was. and so i continued on the path that i was one. and just gets worse. i mean my body reacts to it but my emotions dont.

this is a problem because obviously sex is a part of a relationship. a big part and i want to be able to enjoy it when i get with the partner again. it has effected my past relationships to the point that i dont refuse. i never have it doesnt matter if i get physical enjoyment out of it.

i dont know how to fix this in my brain to equate to sex not guys wanting me and usingbut sex that cane be something to be shared with a partner. to make love....

[gayleggg]

Find a therapist that deals with sexual disfunction. By working with a therapist you may be able to find why you can't deal with the intimacy of sex. Hope you find a solution to this because you are right, it's a very important part of a relationship.

[buzz bee]

I slept with three or four of my past boyfriends. I enjoyed it I guess.

But when I met my husband, he never pressured me, not once. (and he still doesn't). We waited I think because we knew we had a special relationship. Three months into the relationship I was head over heels and so was he. When we had sex, it was making love. It felt right. I can't quite explain it. Just special.

If he is worth it, wait.

This is my suggestion. Good luck.

I've never enjoyed having sex with another person (although, to be fair, I've never tried actual intercourse yet). It's just something you're forced into doing by the guy…even when they KNOW you have a problem with it, they still ask to kiss you (did I mention that I don't enjoy kissing either?). All sex is is a power play, a way to control and manipulate another person. And everything is assumed to be a yes! Even if you initially say "no", it just means they need to push you harder!!! How can ANYONE enjoy sex?! I have no idea.

And I've never been in an actual relationship either…I would assume it just gets worse when you belong to someone. Then if you don't do everything sexually for them, then you're an awful person. I guess we all have to do our chores…

But we sure as hell won't do them with a smile on our face.

[buzz bee]

Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.

I've never enjoyed having sex with another person (although, to be fair, I've never tried actual intercourse yet). It's just something you're forced into doing by the guy…even when they KNOW you have a problem with it, they still ask to kiss you (did I mention that I don't enjoy kissing either?). All sex is is a power play, a way to control and manipulate another person. And everything is assumed to be a yes! Even if you initially say "no", it just means they need to push you harder!!! How can ANYONE enjoy sex?! I have no idea.

And I've never been in an actual relationship either…I would assume it just gets worse when you belong to someone. Then if you don't do everything sexually for them, then you're an awful person. I guess we all have to do our chores…

But we sure as hell won't do them with a smile on our face.

Sex is a blessing. It supposed to be enjoyable with your partner in life. It is a loving, caring, passionate, connection that God has blessed us with. It is not about power, its about connecting and loving that person very much. Sex is so much better with my husband then anyone else I have slept with.

I dont know how old you are but some day I hope you can experience the wonderfulness it holds.

[random...girl...23]

Originally Posted by buzz bee

Sex is a blessing. It supposed to be enjoyable with your partner in life. It is a loving, caring, passionate, connection that God has blessed us with. It is not about power, its about connecting and loving that person very much. Sex is so much better with my husband then anyone else I have slept with.

I dont know how old you are but some day I hope you can experience the wonderfulness it holds.

I do agree with you buzz bee that sex is supposed to be special, and your story of how it was for you and your husband is so beautiful. thats all i want! and its so hard to wait though because your body wants it, but then you end up just getting used which really hurts. but your story has given me hope

[buzz bee]

Im glad sweetie. My first time was with a guy that was 20 years old. I was maybe 16????? I gave in and it hurt so bad. The guy had so little respect for me that he didnt even pull out. I was on no birth control. He had already knocked a girl up. I was so stupid. We even dated for a few months before sex happened. That night he wanted it again and I said no, it hurt so bad. After that I never heard from him again. Believe me I was not heart broken.

Ive had other partners. Sex was ok. No big grand parade. I didnt get all the glamor in it. Not until my husband came around.