[kittyfaye]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. I'm 23 and he is 26. Several months into our relationship we started having sex. This is my third relationship but first one to have sexual intercourse with. We didn't have any problems at first, just that I was inexperienced. For several months now though, I have realized that I never reach orgasm. I have only had two orgasms the whole time we've been together and that was only because he was wearing one of those icy hot condoms and a vibrator. I do take an SNRI so that might be the culprit, but this no orgasm thing is upsetting me and now it seems I have no interest in sex. My boyfriend gets turned off by my disinterest and it makes me so sad because it's all my fault our sex has gone downhill. I also have body image issues and feel fat and think that my body jiggling during intercourse is disgusting. He doesn't think I'm fat and gets mad when I say I am. All this combined upsets me and makes me not to want to have sex. My boyfriend suggested I go to the doctor about it and maybe get hormone replacement or whatever that's called. I don't know anything about that, and I don't know what to do. I feel like a failure and useless in bed. I cry afterwards because I feel so bad.

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[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by kittyfaye

My boyfriend gets turned off by my disinterest and it makes me so sad because it's all my fault our sex has gone downhill.

Stop that. It's not all your fault. It takes two and if you're having trouble and, as you said, have body image issues, it's up to him to work with you and help you understand just how beautiful you really are. It's both of you that can make it work or not, not just you.

Originally Posted by kittyfaye

We didn't have any problems at first, just that I was inexperienced. For several months now though, I have realized that I never reach orgasm. I have only had two orgasms the whole time we've been together and that was only because he was wearing one of those icy hot condoms and a vibrator.

Hmmm ... does he know how to do cunnilingus properly? There's more to sex than just penetration and oral stimulation might be just the ticket.

There are a ton of guys that don't get that point and just stick it in thinking that's everything that's needed.

Also try experimenting around with mutual masturbation, him masturbating while you use a vibrator (I would suggest a Wet Wabbit). That can be quite a fun time and might help push you over the edge as well.

Originally Posted by kittyfaye

I do take an SNRI so that might be the culprit, but this no orgasm thing is upsetting me and now it seems I have no interest in sex.

SNRI's can cause anorgasmia and a drop in libido so this could very well be your culprit. Have you tried anything else like Welbutrin?

Originally Posted by kittyfaye

I also have body image issues and feel fat and think that my body jiggling during intercourse is disgusting. He doesn't think I'm fat and gets mad when I say I am.

He's telling you the truth. He's right that you're beautiful and you're seeing things wrong. Trust me, that "jiggling" you're talking about is hot and he probably sees it as a turn-on.


But all that together, try some different things in the bedroom and talk to your doc about anorgasmia as it may be as easy as switching to another medicine like Welbutrin.

[kittyfaye]

Thank you so much. It might be as simple as switching meds because we do oral and all that. All I've tried is ssri's and the snri I'm on now. I'll talk to my doc about switching meds.

Listen to Webgoji the wise....

Med switch-up worked for me.

Plus don't forget that you are still in the learning phase of your own sexuality...so be gentle with yourself.

[krisakira]

Honey, your boyfriend needs to learn how to pleasure you without vaginal intercourse. I never reach orgasm during it, but after he gets off, he goes down and uses his hand on me and thats when I O. You guys need to experiment with what he can do to make you feel good too.

[kittyfaye]

We've tried that too, I guess we're not doing it right.

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[RichardBrooks]

Originally Posted by kittyfaye

We've tried that too, I guess we're not doing it right.

Ever take matters into your own hands, so to speak? If you can get yourself off, then give him some instructions. If you can't, then figure out how and then give him some instructions. Trust me, we guys want to know we're doing things right, and every woman is different, so some gentle direction is a good thing for both parties.

[kittyfaye]

That's a good idea, thank you.

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