[baebae]

Hey everyone! This is my first post here and I'm eager to hear your opinions.

My main concern is my sexuality, or lack there of. I'm an 18 year old girl, and I've known for a long time that I have no interest in guys, but I've always tried to push that thought to the side.

It was never a problem for me to avoid dating even though I adore the thought of romance. However, in the past year or two, I've tried relationships and it has become painfully obvious that something isn't right. I like the whole going on dates, cuddling, hand-holding, etc. but I don't really feel anything.

I've never felt anything kissing. There's only one guy I've gone further with and I absolutely hated it. It got to the point where even the thought of being alone with him made me stressed to the point of feeling sick. I know I can't go on pretending.

I'm starting to realize I've never had any sexual desire at all. I don't fantasize and I'm not sure I ever even had a crush, except for maybe once. I can get aroused but I never have in response to another person. I'm aware of asexuality and I fit the description, but for some reason I'm not satisfied with that answer? Maybe I just don't want to be alone...

I can't help but wonder if there's another reason behind it, like either a medical reason or the possibility that I'm a lesbian. I'm pretty healthy. The only thing is I do have endometriosis and a mthfr gene mutation. Can either of those cause low sexual desire? I've gotten blood work and my thyroid is normal. I wanted to talk about all of this with my doctor, but my aunt was in the room and I felt uncomfortable.

There's a few reasons why I wonder if I might be gay. The one crush I mentioned was on a girl, though I registered it as intense platonic admiration at the time. The attraction wasn't sexual, but looking back, I definitely felt something for her that I've never felt before or since (and I would love to feel that way again) I tend to notice girls' appearance more and think they are more attractive than guys. That's really it.

Sorry this is so long. I would just like some opinions because I don't feel like I can talk about this to anyone. I guess what I'm really asking is if it's likely my situation is caused by something medical or repressed sexuality, or if I just accept that I'm asexual. Thanks in advance

[glok]

Welcome to the Community, baebae. I am not qualified to address your concerns. I professional help an option?

[Grey Matter]

sexuality is a fluid dynamic happening in your mind. I have no interest in sex, and professional "help" lead to nothing but them testing my hormone levels (that were perfectly fine) and suggesting therapy I also didn't need. There is nothing wrong with you, and it's fairly common. There are large communities of asexual individuals on and off the internet. There is also a documentary on netflix called "(A)sexual" that can help clear up confusion for you.

My biggest advice to people discovering parts of themselves; don't ask for people to aid in labeling you. Aseuxality is seen as something that needs repairing, when it very much isn't. If you have any questions about being asexual, I have nearly 24 years of experience lol so don't hesitate sending me a message!

[CANDC]

Dear baebae, cute name. Welcome to PC. I have no qualifications on a professional level but I have life experience. I googled endometriosis symptoms and what I saw was pain... pain...pain. Is it really a constant pain? That in itself would diminish my interest in bodily attraction in a body that just keeps hurting.
When I have more energy in the body, I feel more. Maybe then you would get a sense of what or who you are attracted to.
So how would you get energy. Exercise or walking, youtube has beginning yoga or Qi Gong (Michael Costa has some basic movements. Consult your doctor before starting any exercise routines outside your comfort zone.
There are forums that people deal with gender issues and sexuality issues at forums.psychcentral.com