Rape fantasy.

Many claim it is in the common top 10 sexual fantasies of women. Just always found it a curious fantasy/fetish, who it can be a fantasy but they never really want it to happen because it is a traumatic experience. I wonder what makes the fantasy occur, perhaps the fact that a man wants the female at any cost, perhaps the woman likes the idea of a stranger lusting her or maybe it is just women with extreme sexual neglect that have such a thought. Many women also orgasm during rape, yet this is of course not the fault of the woman nor does it mean she is feeling pleasured, it is just a natural reaction of the human body to climax with penetration no matter how ugly or violent the male is. Any women want to add to this? Maybe you've had this rape fantasy or perhaps you are a rape victim and find that any woman who has such thoughts are sick?

This might be tangential to the exact topic that you've brought up. Still, it's something that I don't quite understand:

I've heard that some women enjoy simulating rape role-play in the bedroom. However, I don't understand how this is a "rape fantasy" per se, and not a "rough sex" fantasy. My understanding is that during rape, the other person is not looking out for your well-being, and your safety is definitely at risk. However, during a "rape" role play, you have the psychological cushion (however implicit) that your partner will not maliciously hurt you, or forcibly subject you to a sexual act that is against your will. (If he/she does, then it is rape, and no longer a "fantasy").

Can someone define what a true "rape fantasy" really is? In my book, I see there being two distinct categories: rape, or rough role-play sex. Maybe my understanding is simplistic.

My guess is that it has to do with being helpless and taken in the arms of someone they already have feelings for. Read a romance novel. It's usually some uber-sexy guy that "takes" the woman even though her sensibilities say no. That's rape fantasy.

They want to feel desired and taken when the situation is one that they already want.

Word to the wise guys ... Don't ever guess that's what your lady wants.

That sounds more like a "bad boy" or "damsel in distress" fantasy than a rape fantasy. The word "rape" has such strong and unpleasant connotations, and that's not what you're describing there at all. If what you describe is truly what is meant by "rape fantasy", then I'm baffled by why such a negative and misleading term would be attached to them.

The people I know that have acted out a rape fantasy have had the guy "sneak" into the house with a ski mask and then "attack" the wife or girlfriend. It's usually much less aggressive than even most BDSM. It really is similar to what people read in romances. It might be all slow and passionate or, like you said, "rough sex".

Heck, I've even been know to get to wrestling with my wife (seriously, just like two kids), but then once I have her hands pinned and she can't fight back start with the foreplay and then move into bondage-type sex.

I see. In that case, I still wouldn't attach the word "rape" to these fantasies, since these sex acts seem to be entirely consensual, and not maliciously aggressive. I'm assuming that safety is a priority. Hence I'd term these fantasies to be, say, a domination/submission fantasy (albeit not BDSM).

Thanks for clarifying!

After I was raped, and past the lesbian phase, I used to look up porn videos of women being raped (not real but faked to look real) and it helped me get there. I don't know why. Trying to make it seem normal or desensitizing myself so it doesn't feel like a bad thing? That's all I can guess. I don't look at those videos anymore though. They trigger me now.

By the way the rape videos included things like a group of men attacking a woman and basically forcing her to do things physically, as if it was a real rape, not just BDSM or "rough sex."

I have rape fantasies since when I was a kid.I'd pretend ken was raping barbie while playing with dolls.It's the only way I get turned on and sometimes it really pisses me off.Maybe I just like to feel that a man is desiring me so much to the point that he can't control his hunger for me.
Real rape is no fun or good.But if it's just a fantasy I see no problem.

I have rape fantasies because I'm a sick ****. I'm a bit of a sadist as well.

I'm with psychehedone. I think for many it really is a submission/rough sex fantasy and that these particular fantasies have been mislabeled.

Having said that though I have seen some people who genuinely believe they want to be gang raped in a dark alley by strangers, perhaps this is really what they want.

But having been assaulted myself I tend to think these people really have no idea of what they are asking for. They're thinking entirely of the sexual part not of the emotional trauma of being made completely and utterly helpless.

Some people who have suffered abuse, especially repeatedly, actually feel the need to repeat it even when they are safe.
I've heard that a lot of times people who want to be dominated or raped are people who in their daily lives carry a lot of responsibility. After all day being in charge in the bedroom it's most pleasurable for them to get away from that.
My friend is really into bdsm and also has rape fantasies. Her fantasies are like someone breaking in and raping her, but she doesn't want it to actually happen though she's fine with role play.
Personally I used to fantasize about rape because I felt guilty for having a sex drive and felt that was the only way I could have sex guilt free.
Now I have actually been raped but I don't really think it's a disgusting fantasy. There are many variations and many reasons for it and you can't really help what you like.
Also for me I'm sometimes an emotional masochist and I would fantasize about rape (and nonsexual things too) because I feel like I deserve to be worse off than I am.
Any fantasies I might have now are pretty much ruined by the reality so that's over but if someone else likes it I'm okay.

I can see why someone may like being claimed
through love-making that is...not so tender compared
with normal garden-variety intercourse. The danger
starts when we confuse physical assault/abuse that
just happens to be done through sexual intercourse
with being claimed in the manner I just described.