Who Am I...really?

I struggle, yes I do. I struggle with the fact that my sexuality is defining me. I used to believe that being bisexual was just part of who I am. That my sexual preference and experience just added to an existing entity. Like adding a different spice to a meal...the underlying meal doesn't change, however there is a little more zing to it.

I always thought that within my life and marriage, that the gay part of me was that zing...making me a little more flavourful. But these days I feel like I'm making my sexuality the core ingredient to the meal...like "I'm gay but married" instead of "married but gay".

How we define ourselves often changes with the situation. On the soccer pitch I'm a coach, at work I'm the lab technician, at home I'm a father and a husband and in bed I'm straight. When one of those aspects becomes the only way I define myself, it indicates I'm fixating on it to an unhealthy level.

My opinion is that you need to look closely at how you're defining yourself. If you always have the bisexual card or ready to play it, then I think there's something about your sexuality that needs resolved, maybe some subconscious guilt or something. But if you can take on the other roles of your life without it interrupting (like my sexuality has nothing at all to do with coaching) then is probably nothing to worry about.