[hayleytheherbivore]

I'm 17 years old and a female and I have absolutely no desire for any kind of intimacy despite being in a relationship with an 18 year old boy. It all grosses me out. Kissing, especially making out makes me want to gag and I hate doing it but I feel pressured because my boyfriend is a horn-dog. He constantly morphs normal conversations into it HAVING to be about sex or flirtation and he keeps pressuring me about doing it. I DON'T WANT TO! I'm gentle but I tell him I'm not ready and I'm not comfortable with intimacy but he still expects us to be all intense and stuff because that's what he likes. It's to the point where I purposely avoid him because I don't want to have to deal with him wanting to be intimate or talking about sex. It's gross. He's attractive to some level but I'm veery picky about hygiene and he is never clean shaven and his teeth are a hell sent mess. I also know he's had sex with at least 2 other girls.

A close friend of mine who is 15 and a girl does the same thing and it drives me mad. When we hang out ALL she wants to talk about is sex, who she's dated, the twenty people she likes, who is attractive, on and on. It's gross. Everything about sex is gross to me - like exchanging bodily fluids like saliva and jizz and eww. I just hate it.

I haven't always been this way. I had an ex boyfriend I was very much intimate with and mostly enjoyed it. But after that relationship I sort of emotionally shut down and hated the idea of any relationship and avoided them at all costs, to the point I was mentally swearing off ever getting married or having kids.

Now I'm regretting being in a relationship in the first place if this is what it means. I'm so frustrated I could cry. The most intimate thing I want in my life is for my cat to cuddle with me.

Is there something wrong with me? I don't see myself ever enjoying it. How do I stop him from pressuring me? He's so sensitive if I end it he'll throw a fit.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[hayleytheherbivore]

I was also accused of sexual assault this past school year by someone who wanted revenge. There's a separate thread of it but that probably contributed to me hating it even more.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[spondiferous]

Hi hayley. There are two things that stand out to me here. First, you say that your boyfriend is constantly more or less pushing it on you, and finding ways to always change the topic back to sex. Then you mention that you've been accused of sexual assault. Those are two pretty serious things and, not that you need a reason, but may have quite a bit to do with why you are really not feeling into being intimate with anyone. But I think it is more important to remember that you don't need a reason not to be intimate, and you don't need to feel bad about it, or like something is wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you. You just don't feel like it. And that's perfectly okay. And the more pressure you put on yourself, and the more pressure others put on you, the more you are going to keep stressing about it and the more it is going to keep getting blown up into huge proportions. It's your body and you have sovereignty over it.
Which brings me to the boyfriend. I think it's time to stop being nice. Clearly this person is not respecting your attempts to divert conversations and is not hearing your requests for him to stop. I think it's time to tell him to either shape up, or ship out. You don't need that. And I think, probably, the same goes for the friend. Let her know that you're not into it and would like to talk about other things and that if she can't handle that, maybe you need to spend less time together.
That's my two cents. Please don't feel like I'm telling you what to do; that is absolutely not my intention. Take what you like, and what you find useful, and leave the rest.

[Abyssal]

Originally Posted by hayleytheherbivore

I'm 17 years old and a female and I have absolutely no desire for any kind of intimacy despite being in a relationship with an 18 year old boy. It all grosses me out. Kissing, especially making out makes me want to gag and I hate doing it but I feel pressured because my boyfriend is a horn-dog. He constantly morphs normal conversations into it HAVING to be about sex or flirtation and he keeps pressuring me about doing it. I DON'T WANT TO! I'm gentle but I tell him I'm not ready and I'm not comfortable with intimacy but he still expects us to be all intense and stuff because that's what he likes. It's to the point where I purposely avoid him because I don't want to have to deal with him wanting to be intimate or talking about sex. It's gross. He's attractive to some level but I'm veery picky about hygiene and he is never clean shaven and his teeth are a hell sent mess. I also know he's had sex with at least 2 other girls.

A close friend of mine who is 15 and a girl does the same thing and it drives me mad. When we hang out ALL she wants to talk about is sex, who she's dated, the twenty people she likes, who is attractive, on and on. It's gross. Everything about sex is gross to me - like exchanging bodily fluids like saliva and jizz and eww. I just hate it.

I haven't always been this way. I had an ex boyfriend I was very much intimate with and mostly enjoyed it. But after that relationship I sort of emotionally shut down and hated the idea of any relationship and avoided them at all costs, to the point I was mentally swearing off ever getting married or having kids.

Now I'm regretting being in a relationship in the first place if this is what it means. I'm so frustrated I could cry. The most intimate thing I want in my life is for my cat to cuddle with me.

Is there something wrong with me? I don't see myself ever enjoying it. How do I stop him from pressuring me? He's so sensitive if I end it he'll throw a fit.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi there,
You first need to check out two things here,
1) your feelings for him are genuine or not?
2) Are you depressed?

& i tell you why you need to check them.. firstly, you said you were enjoying being intimate with your ex. that means, you dont have problem with the intimacy per se .. you have a problem with a person you are doing .. Maybe you are not that emotionally attached to this guy as you were with your ex... or maybe you need sometime to heal.. maybe he is pushing you too much and as a result you are losing interest in him..

2ndly, sometimes we suppress our feelings in order to avoid being hurt.. Maybe you havent dealt properly with your previous breakup .. and your feelings are bottled up inside you which are creating problem in your relationship ..

And 3rdly, i advise you not to rush on things.. take sometimes off with your boyfriend .. check your feelings for him .. give yourself a break ... you dont need to push yourself into intimacy when you are not doing it on your own will... Relax & give your relationship a break!! You will know what you really want !

Good luck

[Big Mama]

Originally Posted by hayleytheherbivore

He constantly morphs normal conversations into it HAVING to be about sex or flirtation and he keeps pressuring me about doing it. I DON'T WANT TO! I'm gentle but I tell him I'm not ready and I'm not comfortable with intimacy but he still expects us to be all intense and stuff because that's what he likes.

It's to the point where I purposely avoid him because I don't want to have to deal with him wanting to be intimate or talking about sex.

Now I'm regretting being in a relationship in the first place if this is what it means. I'm so frustrated I could cry. The most intimate thing I want in my life is for my cat to cuddle with me.

Is there something wrong with me? I don't see myself ever enjoying it. How do I stop him from pressuring me? He's so sensitive if I end it he'll throw a fit.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

This sounds like a person who you need to get away from. I have some of your words in quotes.

1. He pressures you
2. You avoid him
3. You are so frustrated you want to cry
4. He will have a fit

Hun he is not respecting you. This doesn't sound like someone I would want to spend the rest of my life with. I wouldn't want to have a relationship with someone who has that much impact over how I feel. He is affecting you negatively and your body and mind are trying to convince you of that. Listen to it. It will save you in the long run. Have you considered getting out before it gets any more difficult to do so.

As for the kissing and sex thing. I am with ya there .EWWWWWW and I am 40. Saliva and tongues and germs and slicky wet in my mouth or licking on me... yuck. I don't like kissing of any sort. And sex is almost as icky. Sweat, wet, gooey, the list doesn't need to continue, it is kind of gross. I can understand where you are coming from. But there is hope. I have 3 kids and a husband. We don't kiss, and we got them 3 kids some how, even though I am not thrilled about sex. But like I aid There is hope, you are mighty young as well. Your mind may change as you mature.