[Solaire_of_Astora]

Hello everybody, i am not sure how i should start. Mayby i should first explain that i am a male and had a few relationships with women. Although i only had sex with one of them, i am sure to be at least straight.

Ok now my question... in addition to that i also like fur... it started with plush animals with which i had my first sexual experience. I loved them to be as big as possible. Searching for bigger plushies on the internet i found information about the furry community. I joined a forum, went to meetings and also met my last girlfriend (the one i had sex with).

I also get aroused by watching somebody having sex with animals, although i never had or want to have sex with them myself. For me realationship and sex belong together, that means i don't like to have sex with somebody i am not in love with and who does not love me back. And since this is not possible with an animal (at least in my opinion), i don't think i will ever have sex with one myself.

But this all confuses me. Is this fur thing just a fetish or do i have a serious problem? Wiki says something is only a paraphilia if one suffers from it. But i am not sure if i suffer from it. I like my plushies and it is really fun. Also looking at furry or animal porn (the clean one where the animals don't get hurt) is fun. So i'm not suffering from the thing itself, but from the fact that i can't tell anybody. I have 2 friends that know about this and i am really glad i have them. But it's always hard for me to be around other people. I always feel like i am not able to be myself and fear to unintentionally reveal something of this to the wrong person.

Now i hope you don't think i am a pervert or something. I really like to have a relationship with a woman, but i don't know how i can get this together with my "fetish". Hope you can help me.

[kaliope]

im sorry, i dont know the differences between fetishes and all that stuff so hopefully someone more experienced in that particular matter will come along. i just wanted to give you a perspective from someone that is totally vanilla. i dont think you are a pervert at all. you clearly state that you believe sex is for relationships and someone you love. you dont believe that anybody/thing should be hurt for your pleasure. so if this is bringing you joy, go for it. i believe you are feeling guilty because you are doing something that is outside of societal norms. well if you read enough posts on here, lots of people do a lot of things for pleasure outside of societal norms so it is more common then you think. it is a shame society cannot be more accepting. so get rid of the guilt about what you are doing. it can be really hard to find happiness in this world. embrace what is bringing you joy.

[CANDC]

Solaire of Astora, welcome to Psych Central.

No personal knowledge on this topic but did find that fetish and papaphilia are sometimes misunderstood.

These articles may clarify
Psych Central - Search results for Dreams

[Solaire_of_Astora]

@kaliope: I think you totally nailed it, thank you It feels really good to see that there are people out there that don't judge others because of things like sexual orientation/fetishes etc.
I hope i will find more people like you, especially here in germany. I always fell better if i don't have to worry somone around me finds out my perferances. Unfortunatly back in school this is what actually happened. After my schoolmates knew i loved my plushies every day in school felt like a never ending nightmare.

@CANDC: Thx for the link. I am not sure how dreams are related to paraphilia, but i managed to search for paraphilia on the website you linked
But i am still not sure. As far as i understood fetishism is one kind of paraphilia. There is a differentiation between a "normal" fetish and a disorder. And i am not able to determine if it is a disorder in my case. I know the sex with my ex worked fine even without plushies or fur. But it is also a problem for me that i have to worry about who i tell this secret of mine.