i miss it :-(

a love affair... thats what i need...

;-)

(something to control for a while)

i'm so %#@&#! transparent.

sigh.

i hate myself

wah

[Talulah]

a really great VBrator......and you are set.......

(something to control, hee hee)

[nothemama8]

[bebop]

lol

lol. i don't think i'll be getting one of those (for a couple of reasons)...

firstly because they are NOISY and my neighbours are NOSEY.

secondly because...

this isn't a moral thing...

but i do have a concern about training ones body to have a sexual response to OBJECTS. i masterbate... but i do have a bit of difficulty with the idea of using an implement.

though yeah, there are limitations with hands ;-)

though... is it about treating a person as an object??? little fun... we'll both like it i promise ;-)

the right ones aren't noisey......

i don't see it as "training" your body to respond to objects. i see it as a partner/substitute when you need it. you can even name it..........

girl, this is 2007!!!!

well...

i guess i have the same emotional response to the thought of my partner using a blow up doll or an artificial vagina as a 'partner substitute'...

i'm not morally objecting.

i'm certainly not objecting to masterbating...

but i don't much like the thought of training ones body to sexually respond to objects. whether it is 2007 or 5007 or whatever... i just find the notion a little icky.

what i really need is an actual live person methinks... sigh. no contenders...

:-(

[LMo]

I actually know what you mean, Alexandra. I hope you find someone soon (( Alexandra ))

i don't want you to feel "icky"............."icky" isn't good. i guess i see it from a different perspective and that's okay.........xoxoxo pat

[LMo]

I do know what she means - it took me a while to, um, get used to a partner again after my stint as a single chick between first and second marriages when only BOB was in the picture. I know both of you pretty well and it might not be so much of a differing outlook/perspective as it does the way our minds/bodies respond.

[Maven]

I have no problem using a vibrator or a person. I prefer a person, and I didn't need to "train" myself to respond to an object. It responds to touch, and it doesn't know if it's a person or an object.

[Rhapsody]

A different side of the sex/toy story -

My husband and I use adult toys together..... due to the fact that some of my medicines make it harder for me to reach the point of no return while my husband is usually off and running like a microwave with just one touch, therefore, being able to share different adult toys together greatly helps me get closer to the finish line without actually finishing with the toy.

Now it is possible (once again) for my husband and I to enjoy the "BIG O" together...... just like old times, but with a twist - for now we have a latex friend to share the moment with - lol lol lol.

* * * * * * *

[LMo]

Hmm. Well... Different strokes for different folks, I guess ;-)

I'll admit I've never tried using a vibrator before. I guess I have a bit of an aversion to the thought of it though. I guess that is coming from the notion that you can train your bodys responses in certain ways.

tone -> shock
tone -> shock -> fear
tone -> shock -> fear
tone -> fear

One hypothesis (which may or may not be correct) is that fetishes are such pairings of certain kinds of objects with sexual response. And massochism is a pairing of pain with sexual response. I guess I find my hands to be adequate for my purposes... While I'm sure I could overcome my aversion to objects triggering a sexual response (by pairing an object with a sexual response so that eventually the object becomes a conditioned stimulus for a sexual response)... I think I'd really rather not.

That being said... If I was in a relationship and my partner really wanted to try it I guess I could give it a shot. Maybe. No objects are harmed ;-)

I guess I have more of an aversion to porn...

But I dunno. Different strokes for different folks I guess...

Though Mavens notion was interesting in the sense that it is a response to touch rather than an object per se...

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
alexandra_k said:
Hmm. Well... Different strokes for different folks, I guess ;-)

I'll admit I've never tried using a vibrator before. I guess I have a bit of an aversion to the thought of it though. I guess that is coming from the notion that you can train your bodys responses in certain ways.

tone -> shock
tone -> shock -> fear
tone -> shock -> fear
tone -> fear

One hypothesis (which may or may not be correct) is that fetishes are such pairings of certain kinds of objects with sexual response.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I understand what you are feeling and the why to it - and I personally feel that one should never do any thing they are not comfortable with.....but I am all for trying it once - other wise how will you know if you are truly uncomfortable with it or not or if you like it or not, and you just might be shocked (in a good way) at the pleasure you can indeed receive from a sex toy.

Plus.... know that we have a goody box of adult toys, some meant for his pleasure and some meant for my pleasure (and some we share together) - therefore - we do not always know what the other person may pick from the goodie box on any particular day or night.... so no issue with becoming objectified to an object for pleasure and please keep in mind that it is not the same experience every time you use a sex toy.

* * * * * *

I can list the link to the site I use to buy my adult toys from off line..................... IF - I get an OK from one of the Mods or Admin on being able to do so here in the open forum. - or IF any one is interested PM me and I will PM you back with the LINK.

* * * * * * *

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

P.S.
You can do a search on here for the term "Sex Clue" and learn some more about how one can (and does) become sexually clued to what they see during the moment of their orgasm.... I always make sure that my eyes are wide open and that I am seeing my husband during this time - and the eye to eye contact can be ever so explosive at times.

WOW!! - I think I need a cigarette just thinking about it - lol.

lol.

> I am all for trying it once - other wise how will you know if you are truly uncomfortable with it or not or if you like it or not, and you just might be shocked (in a good way) at the pleasure you can indeed receive from a sex toy.

Hmm. Yes, thats true, I might be.

I guess I just don't have a particular desire to get my body responding to objects. I'm fairly sure it isn't so hard to train your body to respond... I just don't have that particular desire I guess.

But if I was in a long term relationship looking for something to spice it up... I might well feel differently.

:-)

[mrb020377]

I have an adult toy that hubby and i use together sometimes. In fact he bought it for me! i hardly ever use it alone, but i have been known to use it a few times by myself !

[biiv]

can i just say to everyone who posts in this thread and on this part of the forums... WOW. you all impress me so so so much and im learning so much from you all! maybe one of these days seeing you all talk like this will give me the courage to join in.
so...
for you all!

[Raynaadi]

I would say lets keep links to these kinds of websites limited to PM, simply because of our young viewers here.

Thanks,
Rayna

[Talulah]

Alex................felt much the same way about it for many years........and never even masturbated due to shame/etc......My girlfriend and I got a lovely little.....one with a dolphin on top (lol) and tried it together. helped take the fear/shame/self-assumptions out of it.

Now..................damn...............love that thing..............love it................can't belive i waited til 30 to get one. Been missing out all those years. It actually boosted my appreciation of myself and body and the big O.......ha, ha, I have more of them. Guess what they say about women in their 30s is right with me.

Oh yea, and it's a quite little bugger too....with lots of "settings".

But yea, a person, a live warm body, is much better any day.....

[Maven]

I just want to add a little note: On the term, "respond," I don't get turned on just from touch; I need mental stimulation. Neither do I get turned on just from seeing or touching a vibrator or other sex toy. I need to fantasize (some people don't). It's more about the mental.

it is interesting to read about peoples views... i'm not sure that people are getting where i'm coming from particularly, but thats okay.

i wonder quite a lot about objectification. kant talks about that a lot. the notion is that there is nothing (morally) wrong with manipulating an object according to ones will solely for ones own ends. while we might similarly be able to manipulate subjects solely for ones own ends, this is thought to be morally wrong, however. why? well, because subjects have their own goals, preferences, and desires. to disregard a subjects own goals, preferences, and desires in order to obtain our own is something that kant regarded as problematic.

(this is what is behind kants dictum that people should be treated as ends in themselves and not solely as means to our ends)

he had some stuff to say about sex... basically... he thought that sexual activity (between two people) was (in the 'best' case) an interaction / activity between two subjects. he thought that it wasn't so good if sexual activity (between two people) was an interaction between one subject and one object. there has been a feminist critique of this mostly because he seemed to think that marriage was the institution that was most likely to result in sexual activity being an activity between two subjects. people have (rightly i think) cast a lot of doubt on how much marriage is likely to facilitate such an encounter. but the notion of an interaction between two subjects is something that i find fairly appealling...

it is hard though.

i guess most people think that objectification is okay so long as it is mutual. i guess there is also something of a continuum between the two polarities of seeing someone as a subject at one end and seeing someone as an object at the other. comprimise and give and take probably lye somewhere along the continuum. there is a difference between engaging in some activity that one doesn't like particularly because ones partner does (i.e, consenting to be objectified a little) and having ones subjectivity completely over-ridden (e.g., rape).

maybe this is hopelessly idealistic...

but i guess i like the idea of sexual activity (between two people) being an activity between two subjects. i don't have a problem with masterbation (indeed you can interact with different aspects of mind while treating them as subjects) and so i don't have a problem with the notion of treating yourself as a subject too. but i do worry a little about bringing objects into the picture... i do worry a little about training ones body to respond to objects. i do worry a little about training ones body to preferentially respond to objects over subjects...

but i guess it is a deeply personal matter and i really do think that it is up to each individual to figure out what is right for them. and i do indeed appreciate that this is my view (not necessarily shared by others) and that my view could change / evolve over time.

IMHO present culture most often presents sexual activity as being an activity between a subject and an object. 'equality' between the sexes is often portrayed as a mutual objectification. i personally think that equality (between people) is more a matter of... transcending objectification altogether (to the best of ones ability). so anyway, i guess that is where i (presently) stand on the issue.

do people feel the same way about blow up dolls and artificial vaginas as they feel about vibrators? if not... why not? and what... is the difference?

though of course i do wonder a bit about my encounters... i figured they were about two subjects having a little fun... but then i got to thinking about when it is that i have a desire for one of those encounters... and it seems to be when i am having a desire for intimacy but when i'm scared of intimacy at the same time. so what is it about these encounters that is okay intimacy wise?

control?

control of what? i think maybe it is about being desired. about intimacy yeah. but no strings... so no concerns about abandonment or whatever. because it is an encounter... and sure there is a bit of trust in the moment to be with them... but it isn't about making plans for the future or anything like that. it isn't about making a committment to be there for them (or vice versa).

so maybe it isn't so much about control. but then... who knows.

[Maven]

I'm not into all that "deepness." I don't prefer objects over persons, and I don't think one's body responds to anything without the brain. People have deep, meaningful relationships with other people, whether they've used objects or include objects or not.

As for artificial vaginas, I have no problem with them. They're the same thing for men as dildos are for women. I don't think much of blow-up dolls; I don't really get how anyone could be turned on by one (their faces are just goofy!), but to each his own. However, there are realistic dolls that are more "dangerous," IMO, in terms of becoming an object of obsession, or as an excuse to not interact with real human beings. And I say, if a person uses any object, whether for sex or not, as a way to avoid human interaction, then that's a problem. I think anything can be abused, and that would qualify as abuse, again, IMO. I also think sex toys can be a part of a healthy sex life.

Do you consider oils and lubricants a problem? I mean, if you masturbate and use a massage oil, and you really enjoy the feeling of that oil, are you worried your body will become "trained" to need that oil? What if, when you're older, you have problems with natural lubrication, and need to use an artificial lubricant, and happen to enjoy the feeling of it? Would that cause you distress?