Why am I only attracted to older women?

Im in my early 20's and I am a female. When I was in high school, I always had crushes on women who were old enough to be my mother. Coaches, teachers, ect.. I had crushes on girls my age also though. But as i've gotten older, I find myself ONLY attracted to older women. Like 15-20 years older... And who are a little over weight. Not like obese but just, you know, thicker than me. Im attracted to someones personality more so than the way they look. But age is a deal breaker for me. If they're my age, im just not interested. I don't feel satisfied and I dont feel "understood". What the hell? Lot's of people think this is odd...lol. I dont know.

Im not looking for anyone to tell me if it's "right or wrong" to date someone with such a significant age gap. I just want to understand myself and why I feel this way. I guess I feel protected or safe dating someone older. Like emotionally protected. I like to have somebody I can lean on who understands and feels my pain. Does anyone here have some time for a small counselling session? What are your thought's? Does this sound like "mother issues"? Am I internally seeking a mother figure?

Sometimes it is best to not overanalyze sexual preferences too much. They are what they are!

Do you have trouble accepting that you are into significantly older women? Does it bother you personally? Leave the world aside for a second or two - they're not living your life and you're the only one in charge of your happiness.

Rachel Maddow lives with someone both older and thicker.

No i've never had a problem with accepting it. I mean thats all I can really do is accept it. It just seems like, after that honeymoon phase is over, reality starts to set in and the problems start to surface. Problems like having to meet her family... Her mother is my grandmothers age and her siblings are my parents ages. I kind of feel like I dont fit in because of that and im worried that she might be embarrassed.

Then theres the fact that she has to meet and associate with MY family. My mother is her age which is VERY awkward lol. I dont want her to feel uncomfortable. My family is pretty accepting of people but I know that it must be just a TAD bit uncomfortable for her.

Then theres the fact that she is more established in life than I am. I dated a 42 woman who had her own house, a 7 year old daughter from her previous marriage to another woman, a set career, and way more money than me. I love all of those qualities but I do not know the first thing about raising a child, I dont make nearly as much as her, and im still in college. I feel like a lost puppy following her around. That makes me feel so bad about myself because I want to be able to buy her nice things and just do stuff for her but I cant so it's embarrassing.

Also, her friends tend to all be in their late 30's and older. I feel like they don't take me seriously. Because when they ask my age, and i tell them, they sometimes laugh or look at the person im dating like she's crazy. I hate that crap. My friends are all around my age and I know she doesnt want to hangout with a bunch of 20 somethings.

Then theres the sex. I love the new experiences that usually come with a more experienced woman but its like they have NO patients at all. I mean, I would like to get comfortable with somebody before I do this CRAZY sexual **** that they want to do lol. I just end up feeling uncomfortable and I cant relax when I feel pressured to do certain things. I guess I might just be choosing the wrong women. I dont know. And when ive said that I didnt wanna do something before, they've either gotten annoyed or broke off the "relationship" not long after. Just hurtful and depressing. But thats the only complaint with the whole sex thing, otherwise, everything is PERFECT.

So these problems always seem to surface when things start to settle. That's why I want to understand why I keep putting myself through the pain of them eventually leaving because of these things.

Besides all that, everything is so great and I am really happy. We laugh, connect, have fun, and get along. Its like, im winning for a while, but then everything goes to ****.

I typically prefer older women as well so it's not something to be ashamed of.

This comment made me laugh for some reason lmao. Yeah ive definitely seen all of the celeb couples. But Rachael met her when she was like 30 and they only have an 11 year age gap.

I keep going for the ones who are like 20 something years older. I love Rachel Maddow though!

I just hope im not setting myself up for heartache every single time I date one. You know?

It's your life. There is no right or wrong about who you date or want to be with. Life is there to live.

It probably means you are attracted to confidence and stability - to people who are comfortable in their own skin, and who have a path in life. This is a good thing. On a more physical plane I guess some of it is also just plain lust for people who look a certain way.

I'm 25 and my lady is 40. I know the feeling.

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Has the age gap affected your relationship or the way you feel in any way?

She's very insecure, always worried about younger women so I a way, yeah.

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Not enough info to assess that but really you are the one to make that call. Most older women are more mature and more interesting. Anyone who knows me would find that odd because I have a gf who is very much younger. She is an exceptional person though. Most women/girls under 25 are not very interesting. Maybe it's the same for you from a different angle? I have no clue why you like them overweight. That may be something that can be attributed to some past experience with an individual. Does it sound like your mother or a mother figure from your past?

I have been with my partner for 10 years and she is 15 years older then me. It does get a bit stressful at times because I have more energy, But it's not about the ages or what others think, its about the love, support, and caring relationship.

I am with man who is 5 years younger then my dad and his son is 2 years younger then me. We like the same things he makes me feel secure and stable and having BP I can be very irrational sometimes so he stops me from making bad decisions where friends my age would encourage me to do so. I found people my age his age and in between the right accepting people are out there to be friends with that click with both of you. To me age is a number Tue heart wants what it wants and if it makes you happy forget the rest of the fears.

Thanks for being so supportive everyone!

I think the key is to find someone who is not bothered by the age difference. If the other person is bothered by it, then yes, it probably will affect your relationship. But, if both partners are OK with the age difference, then it makes things a lot easier. Of course society is always a bit weird about these things, but you can't change the opinions of others. Why live your life according to what others think? In the end you'll just end up throwing away your own happiness. Do what makes YOU happy!

I've known a guy for the last 5 years and its been a bit on/off between us. He's 10 years younger than I am. I've always thought that the age difference would bother HIM, but it turns out to be a bigger issue of mine that I'm trying to let go of. The truth is that even though he's younger, we're in similar places in life, while most guys my age are in completely different places so things don't mesh well. Then again, I'm a bit paranoid about everyone that I date so with him, it may just be that the chosen issue is age. (Ya, I've got issues, too!!!)