[divine1966]

This question arises on other thread, I think for me my sexuality is a huge part of who I am. Someone else says it is just a tiny part of one's persona. Here goes the question.,.how big is it for you or on your opinion? Obviously I don't mean what role sex plays but your sexuality in general



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[kaliope]

well i havent had sex in so long, i dont even know how long it has been.....so can you guess my answer?

Originally Posted by divine1966

This question arises on other thread, I think for me my sexuality is a huge part of who I am. Someone else says it is just a tiny part of one's persona. Here goes the question.,.how big is it for you or on your opinion? Obviously I don't mean what role sex plays but your sexuality in general

There could be a very long answer but I'll just say... yes. And I think I understand the question but I bolded the pertinent part... hope you don't mind
My sexuality and gender are integral parts of who I am. On the other hand, my chosen profession was the main source of my identity for most of my life. Sorry... I kept the answer as short as I could

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by kaliope

well i havent had sex in so long, i dont even know how long it has been.....so can you guess my answer?

Your sexuality not how often do you have sex. You have sexuality even if you never have sex

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[Yismymindblank12]

Adventurous, proud, intense, passionate, powerful, exciting fun and all over the place. Not tamable.

[bixkf]

I'd say that there are times when my sexuality becomes a larger part of who I am, and most of that is when I am struggling with issues related to relationships or sex. I find it interesting when I think about the question, I ask myself whether I would be the same person if I were straight or gay, rather than being the bisexual that I am. The thing is I don't think I would be a different person, I already know that I can have sexual and emotional relations with both men and women. I know that there are small bits of me that would be different depending on who I would be in a relationship with, but the vast majority of my personality would not change.

I have to admit that there a times where I would like that my bisexuality played a bigger part in my life. I've been in a monogamous heterosexual marriage for almost 20 years, but I experienced my earlier years as homosexual. The reality is that a significant part of my life experience (relationships being extremely important) is based on life decisions related specifically to my sexuality. The fact that my first sexual relationship was with another guy and that I eventually married a woman and had kids, impacts all later aspects of my life...including daily interpersonal activities. Believe me, even now when I am having sex with my loving wife, I can't help think and wish that it would be with a guy instead.

So I really have a hard time clearly answering your question...because in some areas of my life my sexuality as a lot of depth but not a lot of breadth, and in others has a lot of breadth, but not a lot of depth.

[Shoe]

Well, yes I would say yes to the question. Especially when I was younger. I learned a lot from this website that I found about 10 years ago. I have read both volumes of Mr. Mahoney's books and gleaned a lot of personal insight from them. A short paper that you may find interesting is E. J. Kempf's paper 3rd from the bottom left side column.
A couple of quotes from the book:
Our sexual identify guarantee our psychic unity
And passion is the sister of joy

Schizophrenia - The Bearded Lady Disease

[AppalachianAxis]

Yes. It's not easy to admit, and I wish it were otherwise, but yes.
My sexuality, and more prominently my struggle against it, has defined me and my life in a *very* big way.

[oneironaut]

Now I have so many questions, since this thread spawned from something I said.
But the main question is:
Can I still enjoy the things I enjoy now if I embrace my homosexuality?

[s1lver]

No. While yes, people have judged, and generally tried to make my life harder upon occasion, no I do not feel that my sexuality is a large part of my personality. It simply is.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by oneironaut

Now I have so many questions, since this thread spawned from something I said.
But the main question is:
Can I still enjoy the things I enjoy now if I embrace my homosexuality?

Of course. You still will be the same person just hopefully more content and eventually maybe happy? But you can enjoy same things you like now!

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I am 20 years old and I have finally come to accept that I am bisexual. A few days ago I mustered up the courage to let my boyfriend know for the first time. It was SUCH a liberating experience. I was afraid to tell him and he had been very supportive. I feel that him knowing now will change the way our relationship will be in the future in better ways. Let's just say I want to try new things in the bedroom (just with him though)...but still... yeah it will be nice

[Webgoji]

No, but that's because I fit nicely into everyone's expectations (not because I want to, just because I'm that way). So no, it isn't a big factor because it doesn't become an issue. I can imagine though that if someone doesn't fit the cookie-cutter requirements of society, sexuality is going to be a big issue because expressing it becomes a real problem.

[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by Webgoji

No, but that's because I fit nicely into everyone's expectations (not because I want to, just because I'm that way). So no, it isn't a big factor because it doesn't become an issue. I can imagine though that if someone doesn't fit the cookie-cutter requirements of society, sexuality is going to be a big issue because expressing it becomes a real problem.

This is why I hate myself. I wish I could, it be easier, because I live in a world where I don't belong.

That I like really open relationships and people think of me as a cheater and I had to shun my own self all the time. Everyone tells me who knows about this says I'm unrealistic. So I just avoid bringing up sex, I hate feeling so stupid when I do bring it up.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Yismymindblank12

This is why I hate myself. I wish I could, it be easier, because I live in a world where I don't belong.


That I like really open relationships and people think of me as a cheater and I had to shun my own self all the time. Everyone tells me who knows about this says I'm unrealistic. So I just avoid bringing up sex, I hate feeling so stupid when I do bring it up.

No one needs to know about your open relationships except your partners. Who needs to know? I am not telling people about my sex life or relationships. Why do you tell people? You should only tell people you plan on being with. Now not too many people are open to this, true. But bringing up sex to random people is a bad idea regardless

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[Yogurtz]

No I wouldn't say that my sexuality is an important part of who I am; it is not something I ever think about or that I think influences who I am much at all. Only a few years ago, in an unhealthy and destructive way, I refused to acknowledge I even had a sexuality, believing that to have a sexuality would make me a substandard individual and distract me from more important things, like becoming perfect so as to no longer be a failure.

[oneironaut]

This might work better as a poll, can we do that?

[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by divine1966

No one needs to know about your open relationships except your partners. Who needs to know? I am not telling people about my sex life or relationships. Why do you tell people? You should only tell people you plan on being with. Now not too many people are open to this, true. But bringing up sex to random people is a bad idea regardless

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I was too vague people not strangers, only people I trust. Sorry. I the only people who know are the people who I was going to date and certain friends I know along time who asked about it. Rather I don't say it as a huge deal nor bring it up much at all period. I just get tired of those friends trying to force me like something that isn't normal to me and gives me more anxiety than anything. I can commit to I've person, I just need sexual compatibility, the last people I dated and had sex with were very uncomfortable and closeting feelings especially of sex it felt rather depressing than relieving over time. I don't want it all the time, rather have someone open enough who is respectful of my boundaries and me with there's as expected, but someone who wont compress me to be something I'm not comfortable being the one forced or they are from me. I don't do force others, its always been the other way around. I don't like that period. They use euphemisms' to say it's "reality" you aren't normal and no one will want you like this.

Sorry had to clarify my bad for not mentioning.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Yismymindblank12

I was too vague people not strangers, only people I trust. Sorry. I the only people who know are the people who I was going to date and certain friends I know along time who asked about it. Rather I don't say it as a huge deal nor bring it up much at all period. I just get tired of those friends trying to force me like something that isn't normal to me and gives me more anxiety than anything. I can commit to I've person, I just need sexual compatibility, the last people I dated and had sex with were very uncomfortable and closeting feelings especially of sex it felt rather depressing than relieving over time. I don't want it all the time, rather have someone open enough who is respectful of my boundaries and me with there's as expected, but someone who wont compress me to be something I'm not comfortable being the one forced or they are from me. I don't do force others, its always been the other way around. I don't like that period. They use euphemisms' to say it's "reality" you aren't normal and no one will want you like this.


Sorry had to clarify my bad for not mentioning.

Even your friends or people you trust don't need to know what you do in a bedroom. Only people you were going to date. You maybe looking in wrong places for those folks. Look in some type of swinging groups? Don't know much about it



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[Pikku Myy]

I would say definitely yes I like who I am.

[littlebitlost]

It's a HUGE part of my life. Bloody HUGE. I need sex, and masturbate, and like (good) porn and a little sexting.... <3 I am 26/f/Australia

Originally Posted by littlebitlost

It's a HUGE part of my life. Bloody HUGE. I need sex, and masturbate, and like (good) porn and a little sexting.... <3 I am 26/f/Australia

Same, to some extent, rock on! I enjoy sex, masturbating, sexting and once in a while good porn, just like you.

[mountain human]

As a man, sexuality has always been a big factor in who I am. Now that I've reached middle age, my sex drive is a lot lower. However, I do have a gf who is 13 years younger than me with seemingly unlimited energy. I'm resigned to the fact that I can't keep up with her physically and probably never will. There are a lot of crystal meth addicts where I live--maybe that's what I need.