overcoming sex trade?

Just wondering if anyone has any experience with this... I was in and out for 13 years (starting as a teenager). I could have also put this under many other categories... Some girls I know recover okay--usually ones who start older and dont stick around and have better boundaries with clients than I did...

I have never had a relationship, though I am somewhat attractive (or so I am told). I get scared and pissed off if anyone remotely appropriate is interested in me...

hi somat, I am sorry you were a victim of abuse. No one should have to live through that.

Many survivors of abuse find that a therapist specializing in that area can serve as a guide to help them through the tortured past of pain and trauma.

What options do you have to help you find away out of this wound?

Is prostitution automatically abuse? I dont recall saying it was abuse...

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound critical. I just mean that I was asking because I want to find others and learn their stories--I don't want to be the victim and I don't want to play the political feminist liberation game. It was neither.

I am not a victim of prostitution, or any of the other things that happened to me. I have been around systems for long enough to know what is and isn't available in terms of support. I am just tired of having to explain everything... and wanted to hear somebody else. Tired of the pity. I am so much stronger than all of that.

Was your involvement down to choice or something you felt forced into - by circumstance or whatever?

When I spoke of abuse I was thinking of people forced by being forced labor or as slavery. Sorry did not mean any offense.

That is part of why I needed to hear someone who can relate...

I asked for peoples experiences and you automatically assume that there is a dichotomy between being forced into it and not being forced into it and that I had to be forced into it to struggle with the consequences...

I don't have the energy to explain my experiences or the common experiences of sex trade workers (they would definitely surprise you). I just wanted, for once, to not have to explain...

It was more I asked about your personal experience rather than assuming anything.
I hope you find someone you can relate to then

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When you asked if I was forced or not you assumed that there was a clear cut distinction and, presumably, that this distinction somehow matters...

Hardly, I asked how you felt about it, human feeling and opinion isn't so neatly cut into black and white.

My only assumption was that you wanted to talk about how you were feeling. My apologies if I caused any offence

Sex trade is not a common topic here in these forums.

This is a support forum. People offered support, so if you're not going to take it...move along and find another forum.

I was looking for support.

It is not a common topic? Meaning it shouldn't be a topic?

I asked for specific support from people who could relate. That I am not in a place to explain the experiences of sex trade workers and would not find such an explanation helpful does not mean I am not interested in support.

Jumping to "go elsewhere" was not the support I was looking for. But I will not bring up the topic again. Unfortunately, yet again, I've learned it's not something I can get support for...

My point again, is that it is unlikely to find someone else here who has the same experiences. Its foolish to ask for "specific support" and then to rudely snub the support you do receive. Thats hurtful to those who do want to help, even if its not what youre looking for.

I didn't see what I said as rude. I do, however, see "move along elsewhere" as fairly rude. I'm sorry you don't understand where I am coming from and why I didn't want to answer questions... Most of my life I have been treated as the messed up girl to quiz on the dark side. I thought I expressed why I didn't want to do that here. This is not welcoming. I am okay with not finding an answer to my question but do you really want to criticize new members for trying? Where else should we go and who are you to tell people to go elsewhere?
I do not blame people for putting me in the victim role or assuming that it is a matter of being or not being forced. I'm just not into explaining the realities of that world. I lived it. I've spent years explaining... I'm tired.

I think this conversation has derailed to a huge degree.

Somat, assuming you can't find someone who shares your experience, can we help you and sympathise if not empathise?

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OP has a very good point. This was not posted in the survivors of abuse forum, its in sexual and gender issues. And you will find some kindred spirits here, as far as i know.

Hi somat,

I'm sorry that you don't seem to be finding the support you were hoping to find here so far. That doesn't mean that our members don't want to support you, it means that what they try to do is get as much information as they can get to hopefully make a supportive post to you with supportive information.

Since this is mainly a mental health website, we have learned that not everything is just black and white and to make assumptions can be dangerous. So, questions are asked to help make things more clear to those who wish to support you.

Support can come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes we can look for something specific and find another kind of support from a different view that is helpful. We even have members here that are willing to put time into researching as best they can to give others support, telling them of specific information or places that may be helpful.

I've been a member here for over 10 years and honestly, I don't ever remember anyone looking for help overcoming a sex trade until you. It truly isn't a subject that has been spoken about in the way you wish it to be. That does NOT mean that you aren't welcome here to look for support. It just means that we more than likely don't have members who have a background similar to yours or that they wish to discuss it even if they did. To each his own, no?

I truly hope that you find what you are looking for, whether it be here or somewhere else. Everyone deserves to have a place to land and feel safe to talk about their issues. Maybe you can help us by being a bit more specific as to what kind of help and support you wish to have.

Take care!

All I did was ask if anyone had experience. I would have been okay with it having ended there. That is all I asked for. I didn't demand it. And, after that, all I said was that I've spent my life being the poster child which was why I wasn't into questions on victimhood. That was all. I am perfectly okay with not getting an answer I was just surprised at the response.... I've seen far stranger requests on this forum. I'm fairly strong but if I wasn't... And perhaps if it was my first time opening up about something... This isn't going to change if I come here or not. I'm stubborn...

And having it pointed out several times that the topic is uncommon could really increase somebody's shame. I almost went there... And I stopped myself. Still.

I'm sorry to have upset you further somat. My intent was support, not shame.

I wish you well.

You didn't upset me further I was just in a bad mood. I liked most of what you had to say. To say it isn't common is perfectly understandable and, unless one was in my position, difficult to see how it could be a trigger... I mostly avoided giving into the trigger. And I noticed it.

I have experience, it is like an unspoken taboo. It's hard to explain, hard to understand. There are so many opinions out there that it's hard to know what response you will get if you tell anyone.
In all honesty I haven't heard any of the responses to be negative, more info seeking in order to know how to best offer support.
It is such a rare occurrence and rarely discussed because so few feel able to speak openly about it. I don't. I hate that part of my life, I am still ashamed of it. However a dear friend was very proud of who she was and embraced that side of her life. I'm proud of her for that ability but don't understand it.
Please don't feel saddened in any way by the responses, you will find the kindest and most supportive people on this forum who genuinely want you to be able to feel better even if that means exploring ways you hadn't considered to get there xx