Pondering my sexuality while still single

delicate grass · Jan 04, 2016, 05:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

I honestly think that all of these labels just create distance between people instead of bringing everyone together. That is, it may bring those with the same label together, but overall labeling only serves to put distance between said groups. We need to treat people as individuals and not as a label.

Exactly, the only use of labels that I can see is put out a framework of what you want and should only be in reference to a person you have some sort of relationship with. If I for example, I am into dating multiple people I would say I am poly from the start as it is something that sets some boundaries and can avoid awkward situations(are we together or casual?etc) But otherwise, I think you are what you are and if a label helps you define yourself do it, but shouldn't be the case for everyone.

Personally, I came to terms with being gay quite recently. After dating a guy for 6 years and being super frustrated over my lack of sexual desire, I started dating women and it somehow worked.

In the beginning I was really scared as well to have any sort of affectionate behavior in public, cause I had bad experience from people harassing me for that. But after a year of being in a healthy relationship, I really don't care anymore what people would say. I am not talking about making out in public but nice signs of affection like holding hands or a quick kiss. I am in love, and we are really cute together, and if people can't appreciate this, then probably they are bitter over their own relationships. It always makes me smile when people hold hands or show any signs of affection, no matter if they are young or really old. It is somehow refreshing and gives me hope...

ladytiger · Jan 04, 2016, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

Lol I've said the same thing, and people DO get mad! I think they say it because they want you to change, and when you don't give in and respond like that, they're not getting their way so they just get mad.

I've also encountered the "I won't date you because you don't have the right sexual orientation" thing. It's a lesbian thing I guess? They get dumped by one bisexual person and as a result decide they won't date bisexuals again because ONE bisexual dumped them. It's like if I was dumped by someone of a particular faith and then decided to discriminate against all people of that faith and say I won't date anyone in that faith ever again cuz one person dumped me. Same darn thing. The funny thing is that they say all bisexuals go back to men. Well DUH when no lesbian will date a bi chick, who else are we supposed to date?!? In the end you can't win. I was tired of getting crap for identifying my sexual preferences so I just stopped labeling myself and now I'm much happier. I was tired of the LGBT community claiming to be open and loving and accepting when I continued to get kicked in the teeth by so many people proud of the cause. It just hurts when you think you've found support in a community that claims to support you but in reality you're even more of an outsider there. I really do think that the "B" in LGBT is a lie. Of course all of my bad experiences were over 10 years ago. I hope the community is more open and less exclusionary nowadays. I'm not really willing to test it out after I was treated so poorly by a number of hypocritical members of their community. And I know that not everyone is like that, but once you get burned, you don't seek out support anymore.

Yea, nobody in the LGBT seems to be happy at all nothing but drama and if you're not perfect I have zero interest. How could you scream for respect, love, and open mindedness yet not doing the same within your own community? I am on Okcupid, I get more lesbians viewing my profile than bi girls. On past sites, I've had more lesbians contact me than bi girls then later on an equal amount of lesbians and bi girls contacting me.

I'm always ending up with guys and they say you gotta work hard to get a woman. It shouldn't be hard we got gay marriage accepted in this country yet women still can't snag another woman? Still gotta be discreet about it? I have sent my replies to women it was like talking to lil girls like omg! I guess since I've been single for almost 5 months I'll probably get told now you're a lesbian it's about time lmao!

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