Diaper and Incontinence fetish issues.

I am 45 years old. I have been wearing diapers 24/7 for about 14 years and before that I have been wearing every night for 10 years and some times during the day. I am not incontinent however in the last 14 years I have un-potty trained my self for No.1 in my diapers. Before I go on let me tell you a little history about my self. I am dyslexic and I was potty trained about 4 1/2 years old. I have always wanted to wear diapers. I think this was what imprinted me with this. Now back at 45 years old. I have been happly married for almost 2 years now. My wife and all my friends just know me as being incontinent. My wife know about my ABDL side of me but I never told her that I am not incontinent. But by now I now I suffer from some sort of incontinent. At this point I do not want to be with out my diapers and that will more than likely never change and I am fine with that. However I have the desire to want to be fully incontinent and want to do what ever surgery to make me that way. I have tried catheters to archive this but having a tube in you is not the same and is dangerous. I feel that this want to be incontinent is similar to a trans gender wanting a sex change. I feel like a emptiness not being fully incontinent, I think much like a trans gender wanting a sex change. What I don't understand is that is social acceptable to have a sex change but not other medical modifications. Whats wrong with me, wanting to be incontinence? I feel normal other than that. I have a normal life and I am quite happy. I just keep looking for ways to make my self incontinent. Its like a life long quest and I am confused what what is wrong with me wanting this so much?

hi 247dlwear
i can only respond by the little bit i have picked up along the way. have you been to therapy to discuss this to help you understand? when something is confusing to us, it is helpful to go talk it out with a professional to help sort thru that confusion so we are comfortable with our decisions. this is where i would go with it from the information you presented. i am not a therapist, have limited knowledge, but this is what came to me. it is something to consider or totally laugh at and throw out the window....lol. potty training is about control. forcing kids to potty train too early can be traumatic. it is about them learning how to control their bodies. potty training at 4 1/2 is relatively late so it seems as if there may have been a struggle for control with the caregiver. so i would piece together that the fetish may somehow be a subconscious attempt at regaining control of life. that there was powerlessness felt as a child and now as an adult able to do as one wishes so it is manifesting as this fetish because as a child the choice to leave the security of diapers was taken away before the child was ready.

I hope that makes some sense. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

Is it a true fetish - I mean, do you derive sexual pleasure from ('fake') incontinence? Or is it more like body integrity identity disorder? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_i...ntity_disorder

Never heard of this particular fetish, but it sounds like a challenging one to deal with. First, I will say that no doctor would perform a surgery to make you incontinent. In fact, I would strongly advise not telling a medical doctor about this. Doctors do not have training in dealing with this sort of thing, and they may behave in a way that comes across as judgmental. Instead, you should bring this up to a mental health therapist/counselor. They have more expertise in dealing with things like this, and they do not judge their patients about these things. Chances are a therapist could be very helpful for you to be able to deal with or possibly move past these feelings.

This must be a very difficult fetish to have, because being incontinent is a daily struggle. There are also health concerns that stem from incontinence. It must be difficult, because being incontinent is really something that no one wants....... yet if you find it exciting in a sexual way, it is likely to lead to difficult, conflicting emotions.