[PunkPhotography]

Okay, because of the fact that i was sexually assaulted just yesterday (August 31, 2007) , my mother and I were talking about how my 'first time' would be....

me: mom, look...ever since this happened, I'm smarter now... I'm going to make sure that my boyfriend actually loves me and a guy who won't be using me for sex, and you know, the whole sha-bang.

her: NO! you're going to wait for marriage, because girls who have sex before marriage are booty call sluts.

me: okay, you know what? I'm am personally against that, because of the fact that who knows if you could get divorced like 3 days later?... and besides, %#@&#! Utah... i'm just going to do what i;m going to do, mom. I'm not a damn idiot. I know what to do.


what should i do? i love my mom, but i really cherish my beliefs.

[Rhapsody]

Depending on what your age is (over 18 and can live on your own) I would say that it is time to stand firm with your morals and expectation of life where your mom is concerned and let her know that while you love her that you must be able to live your own life - based on your beliefs and not from the beliefs she has.

..... parents find it so hard to let go at times, but they must.

[Maven]

[PunkPhotography]

thanks.

but now she's saying that i can't even have a boyfriend because she thinks i'm going to have sex with him. if she found out that i had a boyfriend, then she will kick me out of the house....

[SeptemberMorn]

Ummm... since this is so recent, I think both of you need to take some time to think things through and let the shock of what happened settle.

Sounds like your mother is a caring person and no doubt loves you. I seriously doubt that she would throw you out of the house at your age just because she found out you had a boyfriend!

Also, at your age you are just forming your beliefs. Give yourself time to grow up a bit more to firm up those beliefs... or to tweak them or even change them completely.

If you haven't been sexually active in a monogomous relationship, you still have a lot to learn about relationships and sex.

Like I said, give yourself some time... all the way around.

[seeker1950]

I agree with September!
Sexually assaulted? That sounds traumatic! Your mother is concerned for you, and wants you to be safe.
Patty

[Naive120]

well were for me to start. i was raped by my boyfriend (at the time we'll call him D.)on my 16th birthday. I stayed with him for 4 months afterward, I believed him when he said it wouldn't happen again. When things ended I got back together with a guy i dated just before. We had been together for 2 years before I started dating D. Anyway. I was still 16 and very depressed, then on day I woke up and went on a sex rampage. My boyfriend and I were having sex up to 3times a day. I didn't tell him about the rape. Now we are engaged and still dealing with the trauma of my 16th birthday. When your with someone that you love and you feel safe with. It's ok. I say follow your heart and your head when they both say the same thing its right. If one says yes and the other no wait.