[Irine]

i was in the religious school..and my religion says that you should be virgin b4 marrige...i know that many religions has this attitude for sex...and we are used to think of it as negattive.

are there any religious people here? what do you do? follow your religoin rules, ordon`t? how do you cope?

[tranquility]

Hi there -

It's a personal choice and what you can live with. I was raised catholic but that didn't stop me when I was 16 I did lose my virginity. For me I am no longer religious but if someone stays a virgin for religious reasons I respect that.

Tranquility

[bebop]

I was not a virgin when I married. in fact I was pregnant and 15. yes I regret having sex before marriage but more than that I regret having a baby at that age. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't take anything for my daughter. Just wish I had waited. I was not responsible enough. Yes I am religious but I am also a realist in that most don't wait these days.

[Greenleaves]

I don't think it always has to do with religion. My parents aren't religious at all, in fact I think we're atheists. It's still expected to remain a virgin until marriage.

Maybe we are conservative, I dunno.

[Greenleaves]

Maybe it's not so much religion, but culture? Hmmm...

[InACorner]

I am a pretty religious person....im for God one hundred percent of the way....and at first i was all for the wait until marriage and then i met the man of my dreams....i was 17 (your saying 17? yea right...too young) but he was...and still is....and i sat down with myself ....and i talked to myself and to him about this very same subject. I realized he was the one....and he wasnt pressuring me....or even asking me....i gave him that gift because of my love for him....and i dont regret one minute of it....and i moved across the country with him...im now 19 and we will be married....eventually...and i can say i trusted myself ...and my soul to give my most precious gift to someone very special.....and i think if you can say that...i dont think it matters as long as you dont treat your virginity as nothing other than special.

I am very religious, but having been sexually molested - there really wasn't any choice of being a virgin prior to marriage.
I told my son that "sex without deep love" is not the same as casual sex. And explained the difference - then he followed his heart. He still struggles I think from time to time with the issue.

[ally88]

Well, I agree. my religion says that you shouldnt have sex before marriage...sadly I didnt make it either. Its not something I'm proud of, but I dont hate myself for it either. I really did love the person I was with and he really loved me. And sometimes its just so hard to wait, But I believe all the way that you should wait until marriage if you feel like you can, even though I didnt.

[Raynaadi]

My parents were somewhat religious, but we didn't attend church regularly or anything. I lost my virginity at 21, before marraige. I had fairly strong morals for myself, and new I wasn't ready to have sex until I did at 21. He was a virgin also. I don't regret doing it when I did or who I did it with. However, I did burst out of the gates at full speed after that. A lot of issues with sex developed after that and now I'm 28 and just starting a healthy sex life in my relationship.

I definitely respect those who respect their beliefs and wait. I don't have any less respect for those who don't though....if they're true to themselves. I definitely cringe at how young teens are having sex these days though. At my high school, we actually had a class you could take called up with children or something like that. It was day care for all the students with children. They'd bring their kids to school and the other students would take care of them in this class. They called my high school Maternity High. How I waited until I was 21, I don't know. Just listened to my heart and my body. I didn't have any kind of spirituality like I do today. Kinda got off topic there, lol.

[GYPSYEYES]

on the lighter side of religion and sex...

now i understand why i say.. OH GOD YES.. OH GOD YES!!!!

priceless

[bebop]

hahahaha gypsy!

[seeker1950]

This is an interesting topic. I also was raised to remain a virgin till married, but being a young woman and art student around all the hippie culture of the late '60's, early '70's, I did manage to wait till age 21. Like Raynaadi, I too don't know how I managed to hold off that long. Because of my upbringing, even as an older woman, I simply cannot and never have been able to engage in casual sex for sex's sake! (I sometimes wish this were not so! ) but there it is! I think of sex as the most intimate thing two people can share, i.e., an act of love.
Patty

[ally88]

ROFL, GYPSY!! ... good one.

[Irine]

nice nice...
i almost forgot about it..

InAcorner, that`s very romantic! i see most of us here didn`t wait untill they got married. me too.

but i didn`t plan it and didn`t really want it. it was sort of particulary forced...disgusting.
and then i was afraid God would punish me! i was so %#@&#! up that time i though i could marrie him that little piece of %#@&#!. that deady body with no feelings. and after my T heard what he did to me she said "i free you from this thoguh. youi have to leave him"

and that was it so i felt like a sinner and hoped that God would forgive me. but since it wasn`t eamnt to happen that way...i believe he did

thanks for sharing your POV

[gostryter]

ok so how's this...

i was raised not to have sex before marriage....and i didn't....and i still haven't....and now i don't want to get married....don't really want to have sex for that matter....gone without this long

[Divaluscious]

How about ppl who are 'deeply' religious and do everything but penetration?

"No sex before marriage" ... but they are doing almost everything, regardless?

Is the line stopping at 'actual' sex, or is it hypocritical to go that far and not actually having penetrative sex?

[Direction]

Religion aside staying a virgin until marriage is a fairly safe way to go...no unplanned pregnancies (of course anytime you have intercourse it really is planned?)...no std's...no regrets...no giving up something that you may regret later

Religion...mine...absolute chasity...only sex with your married partner

Now the pratical side of all this...I think there are enough posts here to see what the realities are...

[sunrise]

My religion at the time favored remaining a virgin until marriage, but I wasn't that strongly religious. At age 17 I fell in love with a man and gave him my virginity. I never regretted it. I think it is wonderful to have your first sexual experience be with someone you love. (And I was truly very virginal, had never even got to first base up until that time.)

I think it is important to wait until you are mature enough to have sex and not do it because the partner is pressuring you into it. I tell my 16 year old daughter not to do it lightly (she is still a virgin), to take precautions when she does do it one day, and to wait until she knows the guy is the right one and that she wholeheartedly wants to. If she has doubts, then she is not ready.

[Direction]

Sunrise...just wanted to add an idea of what you are teaching your daughter...my ex always commented that she wished she was taught to say no...the actual words...and how often she would have to say no...