not straight, not gay. not bi. just a nothing i guess

as the subject heading suggests, i dont know what the hell i am. i fancy neither. nothing gets me. anything sexual triggers me and i feel sick. i also get triggered really bad when i see a married couple happily enjoying a traditional mariiage.

heck i dont know what my problem is. as far as i can remember im not a victim of any abuse.

so..any thoughts as to WHY or am i being (once again) stupid?

Let me ask you this? - how do you feel about your parents marriage...... does the thought of it make you happy or sick?

* * * * * * *

well my mum's been in two failed marriages and both men have passed on since.

as far as how i FEEL about them, well by the time i knew my name my dad wasnt around so ive never really witnessed a marriage from the inside.

but whether that has anything to do with my sexuality, noooo idea.

Thanks for the your reply....... I was just wondering for some times we can see our parents marriage as bad (some thing we don't want) and while we may be attracted to the opposite sex we may fear being hurt or having a bad / loveless marriage that it hinders us from moving forward with our own sexual identity - FEAR can and will control ALL if we let it.

... just another thought to try and help you out - not set in stone.

its not just sexual abuse that can harm are sexuality, but also abuse of any kind, that causes shame, fear of intimacy, understanding of who we are , and confidence. Not that it has to be linked to abuse, just stuff to think about.

lol

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as the subject heading suggests, i dont know what the hell i am.

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i just went to my T for the first time last week. he was asking the general get to know you questions and asked about my status - single, married, etc. No. Did I date? No. Did I ever date? No. Was I gay? No.

So he asked if I was asexual? I dunno? So of course I looked it up http://www.asexuality.org/home/ ...I don't know if I am or not? But here's something else to throw in the mix and add to the confusion!!

esthersvirtue - that was an interesting comment about any type of abuse leading to issues. I hadn't really considered that other forms could have an affect. but it makes sense.

lol thanks gostryter for the extra confusion!
i have considered the abuse thing before. if u can consider bullying and harrassment for 6 years day in day out, "abuse", then hey i qualify for the "non-connectingness" with people. umm, yea so who knows. to be entirely honest i really dont care about sex (not saying that sexual material doesnt make me sick) but yea..

thanks all

lol....anytime...