[vintagexsoul]

I never talk about this...but I haven't had sex in 7 years, and it doesn't bother me. My last partner was a woman, but I'm not a lesbian, just pansexual. For a multitude of reasons, I haven't committed myself to a relationship since her. I was pretty heartbroken. Kind of closed up inside. I've tried dating, but as soon as things got serious or sexual I'd run the other direction. She didn't sexually abuse me at all. But I was molested when I was a child and sexually abused by my first bf. So feelings of arousal around men terrify me. I could never cross the bridge with a guy, and I really like men. I'm simply terrified of being sexual with them. Afraid my PTSD will turn me violent, or that I'll have a panic attack and feel victimized again. Or relive what happened.

But I'd like to have a bf and be able to fulfill the sexual obligations or whatever, that are involved in a relationship. I'm not sex crazed, or anything. I have a nearly non-existent libido. I don't know what to do with sexual feelings because they are so rare with me. But if I get involved with someone, I'd like to be a decent gf. So how do I overcome these fears involving men? Mainly because, I have a guy into me and I'm debating on becoming involved with him.

I'm not a virgin....but I am a virgin, to some extent. I haven't really kissed or made out with anyone in 7 years either and I'm not even sure what to do in a situation where kissing happens.

I am afraid of sex too, I can't enjoy it really. I don't know what made me afraid of it. I wouldn't even use tampons at school. I am afraid it will be painful I think. I tense up when anything enters my vagina. I did have a really painful smear test when I was a virgin which didn't help.

I won't get smear tests now. I have hardly had sex in 10 years. As a result I'm the last person to ask about dating. I'm just letting you know you're not the only one who isn't very experienced compared to others. I have thought about trying sex with a woman but it doesn't really appeal to me. But just saying, you're not alone in your fear of sex.