[Marilyn2016]

So, I'm being told that it's depression. Then I'm told it's because he's not in the mood. Then it's the Adderall. Then, it's another excuse....

I don't think he's cheating on me. I trust him. However, he's completely lost all interest in sex. I get no indication that he's even attracted to me anymore. He quit drinking a few months back, and he's been kinda up and down mood wise since. No surprise for those of us who know how addiction works. Anyway, it's impossible for him to get aroused, and nothing I do helps. He just doesn't want it anymore.

So, what am I allowed to say to this? Should I just say nothing forever? Should I keep confronting him? Should I ask him to get expensive viagras? I just wish he desired me, and I haven't seen that in him in ages. I feel like I have a roomie instead of a husband. He has no interest when I'm nude or wearing lingerie, no interest if I get him nice things, no interest ever.

What's a girl to do? Any thoughts?

Thanks for reading.

Marilyn

[gayleggg]

Have you sat down and told him how you are feeling? Maybe suggest he see a doctor, but that make him angry, but it's what he needs to do. It could be an indication of a medical problem. I'm not full of ideas because our marriage is backwards, it's me that isn't interested. Medically, I'm okay but mentally I'm just not into sex anymore. Long history of why. I won't bore you.

[Patagonia]

I'm sure dealing with the loss of an addiction is hard from what I know. You mentioned he's depressed. Is he on meds bec some can kill the libido.
Is this an abrupt change in your sex life or has it been gradual. Did you have sex often & then nothing?? Does he seem concerned about it or lost in the depression?

[Submax]

Originally Posted by Marilyn2016

So, I'm being told that it's depression. Then I'm told it's because he's not in the mood. Then it's the Adderall. Then, it's another excuse....

I don't think he's cheating on me. I trust him. However, he's completely lost all interest in sex. I get no indication that he's even attracted to me anymore. He quit drinking a few months back, and he's been kinda up and down mood wise since. No surprise for those of us who know how addiction works. Anyway, it's impossible for him to get aroused, and nothing I do helps. He just doesn't want it anymore.

So, what am I allowed to say to this? Should I just say nothing forever? Should I keep confronting him? Should I ask him to get expensive viagras? I just wish he desired me, and I haven't seen that in him in ages. I feel like I have a roomie instead of a husband. He has no interest when I'm nude or wearing lingerie, no interest if I get him nice things, no interest ever.

What's a girl to do? Any thoughts?

Thanks for reading.

Marilyn

It could be any number of things. Depression and drugs for it kill sex drive. Did he ever have a strong sex drive ? I never really was excited by vanilla sex (have a fetish) but could get by when we were younger. As my fetish grew it became the only thing that excites me for the most part and as you can imagine that isn't great when your married. Viagra may help,but what I think would help the most is you two talking and not making him feel bad about it. The worst thing for a guy is to feel bad about not pleasing his girl. Speak with him,tell him you love him,spend time with him.

[RoseOfSharon]

Please talk with him, share how you are feeling. I did not take that path with my wife 13 years ago: it has been tough, especially now in the menopause, and it is one reason we are going our separate ways. I have no wish to spend the rest of my life celibate, and the days of being able to rekindle anything between us are long gone.
Good luck.

[Virneto]

That sounds sad...
Can´t see a way out of it without you talking openly about it and seeking professional help...
You may see him uninterested in you but inside he may be burning with incapability to please you...

Really hope you can find a positive way out of this.
Best regards