bi-curious/ threesomes

ok not sure why im telling u guys this..... but here it goes ....every once in a while i find myself wondering what it would be like to be with a female sexually... right now is one of those times...... ive been wanting to act on it .... i want to have a threesome with my b/f and another female.. not sure how to tell him.... has anyone ever had a threesome and do u think its wrong for me to want that?

I never had a full on 3-some. When I was in high school, my friends (a guy and a girl) were together and the 3 of us messed around. I don't think I could ever have a 3-some in a relationship because I wouldn't want to see my boyfriend with another woman, and I wouldn't want to be with anyone else. That's my stance on it, in my current relationship. In the past I was open to it, but not while I was in a relationship. I was always too afraid of what it would do to the relationship. I'd say definitely do some thinking about it and make sure you want to see him with another woman before you bring it up to your boyfriend.

I think I understand how u feel, I've been having thoughts and dreams about what it would be like if I could be with a female. My bf knows I have had these thoughts but he doesn't know they're ongoing. I know he wouldn't like the idea of a 3some and I wouldn't want to have one either, I think it would feel strange. I just want to experience it alone with a female but I feel that I would be cheating on him. Not sure what I should do.

I have had a 3some years ago. my suggestion is don't do it. I was very uncomfortable. I have also had a relationship with a woman. we were both married at the time but my hubby and I at the time had pretty much an open marriage. it is risky to say the least. pm if you want more info.

i fooled around with a few people from highschool. 3 + 1 makes four though, i guess.

sometimes people have sexual fantasies that they like thinking about very much... but that they wouldn't really like to enact. it could be that your fantasy is a little like that...

i've heard it isn't all that uncommon for guys to have fantasies about watching girls get it on... i'd say your boyfriend would probably be stoked about your fantasy and wouldn't mind him not touching her very much so long as you were going to. but then to each their own of course and i have no idea how your boyfriend would feel about it.

i guess i think that cheating is cheating. if your partner believes that you are being faithful sexually to them and you aren't faithful sexually to them then that is cheating / misleading / lying. i guess i think that doing that would create significant trust and hence intimacy issues. on the other hand... it might be that your bf could say that he wouldn't mind you doing that. might be that he has some fantasy or other that he would like to try out so you could give each other a little bit of leeway to see. i don't have a problem with that so long as it isn't deceptive at all.

I'm bi and engaged, my fiance and I have an agreement he get to know the girl I'm interested in, I can do with her what I please as long as I let him know, no secrets. He would love to have a threesome but I'm not sure how I feel about it. I dated both my fiance and a girl through out high school and my relationships never suffered. I personally thing you should do what you have to do to make your self happy. Be honest with your bf. If he can't take you the way you are he may not the one for you.

threesome can't work for a legitimate relationship...headed for disaster.
if you need to explore bi on the side privately, do that, but kill the 3some.

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gtrplayer said:
threesome can't work for a legitimate relationship...headed for disaster.

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an alternative view is that polyamory can and does work as a relationship - a relationship considered legitimate by it's consenting participants, which is what counts really.

http://www.polyamory.org/

yeah. it has worked well for some cultures / societies.

marilyn munroe had a threesome relationship with the 'gemini twins' for a number of years. sure, she wasn't the most psychologically healthy, but it seemed to work for her.

then there is the idea that sex can be more recreational than relationship focused so recreational threesomes don't really come to bear on relationship twosomes. unless... there are problems with trust etc in the relationship twosome, of course.

i've known a few people who have had 'open marriages'. i don't think they did threesomes, but each partner was open to sleep with other people. the constraints included honesty with ones marriage partner in terms of informing them. also practicing safe sex. that worked out well for them for a number of years.

i guess there is a temptation to think that the way things are typically done in our culture is the only way or the best way... practices diverge across societies, however, and clue us into the possibility that there can be many different ways of being that are all feasible.

I have to agree with gtr on this. especially the first time you try it. even then though you are taking a risk of ruining your relationship

yeah ive decied that im not ever gonna do a threesome while in a relationship... ..if i met a female im attracted to it has to be up to my b/f if i do anything with her..... cause im not gonna take a chance of losing him over my cuiousity