[bpforever1]

I like sex and have two lovers. I get laid about once a week. One of my lovers is married and is possessive. He believes I am his and only his. Whatever!! I just play along. The other lover is good in bed. I like being with him. The married man talks to me daily whereas the other one is too busy with work. Thus, it is a good combination. But, I sometimes wonder if I am horny because of being bipolar. I really don't like being horny. Really! However, masturbation is ok but being with another person is exciting and keeps me calm. What do you think? Do you feel that being bipolar contributes to your sex drive, meaning does the illness intensify your sex drive? I feel it does. I wish I was not so horny. I wish I were ho-hum sexless. But, my sexuality drives me to look good and be sexy. Weird stuff. I sometimes wonder if my illness is not under control. My psydoc thinks I am ok. I don't know. Am I ok?

[Apollite]

Bipolar disorder is well known for increasing risk-taking behaviour, particularly during a "manic" period, so that could explain your high sex drive. The fact that you crave excitement and yet want to feel calm makes me think that you need to pacify yourself for some reason. The sex seems like an escape for you, yet you'd rather be sexless. Do you not feel in control of your urges? Does it make you feel guilty? Maybe you could discuss that more with your T?

I'm not bipolar but suffer from depression and strangely enough, at my most depressed state, my sex drive is sky high (even though I've never been sexually active) almost to the point of feeling unbearable. I always thought that your sex drive diminished when you are depressed.

[Pflaumenkeks]

oooh yes.

I have different modes
baseline: no sexdrive at all
mixed: it's complicated. Mostly urge to but repulsed at the same time.
hypo and depressed: sex drive up

Both hypo and depressed sex drive seem to be a form of selfharm (sad but true) and an escape from boredom for me.
Also calming down from anxiety or restlessnes (I mean on a hormornal level this makes perfect sense).

I act more on it while hypo because of my overly confidence in my sexual abilities and desire to show it to the world (if this makes sense). I feel sexy and probably more turned on by the thought of how I look during sex then by the other person.

It feels like control over my body while at the same time I seem to lose control over it.

[delanceyst]

Hey! Sounds like me! Haha And I am pretty sure it is, but I personally feel that you should do what makes you happy as long as it will not hurt anyone or yourself at some point. It is how I keep my mania in check. I make a mental check list. I'm only able to do this on medication, but I think it is a good idea to try if you ever question your decisions are being based upon your bp

[Shazerac]

Having once a week doesn't sound excessive to me. If you were standing on street corners or engaging in risky sex..that might be manic behavior.

[winter loneliness]

Mania goes up, sex drive goes up.

[bpforever1]

Funny thing but since I've been on generic Abilify my sex drive is going south. hahahahaha. This may be a good thing. Every moment I can though I sleep. I am so sleepy that I am tired most of the time. I drink coffee though which helps. I think may be brand Abilify may have boosted my sex drive. Now, I am not interested in sex but would like to work more if not sleeping. So, hmmm, I'm thinking of returning to brand Abilify but may be the side effect of sleepiness may wear off then I won't have to worry about sex then. What a dilemma!!

[bpforever1]

I'm back on brand Abilify and my sex drive is increasing again. hahahahaha

My thoughts are to just see the man who is my sex buddy. I see him once in awhile for sex. We have great sex and that is it. We are both busy with work. Well, at least, he is.

The man who I was seeing who is also bipolar is ok but I'm afraid I lost interest in him. The sex is not good because he can't keep an erection. He is nice but we have nothing in common except for our illnesses. I feel bad about him but will let him go so he can find other people.

I don't want to get too emotionally involved with anybody now because I want my freedom. I have no interest in marriage. Thus, my sex buddy is fine for now. We have not had sex in a month because I was not interested in sex and did not want to see him. Now, I'm feeling horny again and will make time for him. He is abroad though on a business trip. When he returns, I hope we meet again.

[Teddy Bear]

I don't think once a week sex is alot

[bpforever1]

So, I saw my lover yesterday. It went well. I told him in a message that I love him. Well, I did not expect him to say anything and he has not. He probably is shocked. I love him in bed. hahahahaha So, I'm happy. I let go of the other man who has bipolar. He is married and is not smart. Neither was I. I don't want to get involved with married men. It is too much trouble. I am happy now.

[AspiringAuthor]

Originally Posted by bpforever1

So, I saw my lover yesterday. It went well. I told him in a message that I love him. Well, I did not expect him to say anything and he has not. He probably is shocked. I love him in bed. hahahahaha So, I'm happy. I let go of the other man who has bipolar. He is married and is not smart. Neither was I. I don't want to get involved with married men. It is too much trouble. I am happy now.

I believe that you are currently manic and need to show this thread to the psychiatrist. You are not making sense, because you started off by saying that you have sex once a week, which is definitely not excessive.

There are too many "hahahahaha" in the thread.

The idea that generic Abilify is so different from brand Abilify is dubious; did your psychiatrist confirm that?

You said that the sex buddy is good in bed and soon after said that you told him that you love him. If you love a man, you do not call him your sex buddy.

So it seems that you are rambling, not making much sense, and are at least hypomanic - no?

I am sorry if this is blunt and not what you expected, but I would prefer someone to catch me going up and not making sense.

[bpforever1]

Thank you for your input and comments. I will take it into consideration.

[Carmina]

Originally Posted by AspiringAuthor

I believe that you are currently manic and need to show this thread to the psychiatrist. You are not making sense, because you started off by saying that you have sex once a week, which is definitely not excessive.

There are too many "hahahahaha" in the thread.

The idea that generic Abilify is so different from brand Abilify is dubious; did your psychiatrist confirm that?

You said that the sex buddy is good in bed and soon after said that you told him that you love him. If you love a man, you do not call him your sex buddy.

So it seems that you are rambling, not making much sense, and are at least hypomanic - no?

I am sorry if this is blunt and not what you expected, but I would prefer someone to catch me going up and not making sense.

It made perfect sense to me, and I would not show any thread here to a psychiatrist.

[Pikku Myy]

Once a week would drive me crazy.... I could accept once per day, maybe. Good luck

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by Pikku Myy

Once a week would drive me crazy.... I could accept once per day, maybe. Good luck

Don't wear it out, Pikku! You might need it later in life!

[bpforever1]

I believe my lover has Asperger's syndrome. He is a loner and stays home after work. He lives alone and does not party that much. He is fluent in Japanese and English and is a physics doctorate. I like him a lot and realize his lack of social skills is awkward for him but for me is kind of cute. He is younger than I am. I like talking with him when he does talk. Most of the time though he does not write to me so we talk mostly when we meet. I write him messages though once in awhile. He writes sporadically. He also does not say much most of the time. He is really smart. I was trying to figure him out and realized he may have Asperger's. I was shocked at first. He won't admit he has Asperger's. But, his social isolation and his obsession with work makes me believe otherwise. He is doing really well and I am happy for him. But, he does not relate well to others. I thought he was selfish at first but after talking to him and being with him, he is socially awkward and can't relate to others. It is ok. Nobody is perfect and neither am I. He does not know I have a mental illness myself. So, we are both trying to fool each other when in reality we are not fooling anybody but ourselves. It is in a way a relief to know he is ill too. I was afraid that he would not accept me but we have been seeing each other for about 10 months now. I am beginning to know his idiosyncrasies and he is beginning to know mine. But, we like each other and so far I don't mind them. I have some autism myself due to my illness and am more than sympathetic to his problems.

[bpforever1]

By the way, my doctor verified that generic is not always necessary as effective as brand medication. I am doing well on brand and have no complaints. My doctor has made sure I won't be able to buy generic Abilify anymore. I am doing fine.

I may end my contact with my lover. I like him but feel I that I am becoming emotionally involved with him while he is not. He is nice but not emotionally available. We just have sex and that is about it. I enjoy his company but feel like I'm always accommodating him. I am getting sick and tired of catering to him. He rarely does anything romantic. I don't expect him too but sometimes I wonder what he is doing when he is not with me. May be he is with others? I don't know. Therefore, I am not too happy with his aloofness. He likes me for sex and may be that is about it. I should not complain because he has always been like this from the beginning. I am not like him and want affection and romance too. Oh well. It is not going to happen with him. So, may be I should end it with him.

Originally Posted by bpforever1

Thank you for your input and comments. I will take it into consideration.

Have I already responded? If not, has anyone brought up the fact that your sex drive has nothing at all to do with being bipolar? That ‘hypersexuality’ isn’t a mental health diagnosis?

It is, perhaps, unfortunate that the diagnostic criteria for a manic/hypomanic episode even uses the word ‘sex’ in discussing the aberrant risk-taking involved, e.g.:

Excessive involvement in activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., engaging in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments).

I trust that you’ve not invested your life-savings in options for soybean futures?

Except for your sex-negative feelings I don’t see weekly sex with (now) one lover excessive. No, I don’t think that your libido is in overdrive because of BPID.

Originally Posted by bpforever1

So, I saw my lover yesterday. It went well. I told him in a message that I love him. Well, I did not expect him to say anything and he has not. He probably is shocked. I love him in bed. hahahahaha So, I'm happy. I let go of the other man who has bipolar. He is married and is not smart. Neither was I. I don't want to get involved with married men. It is too much trouble. I am happy now.

Ha! I have no problem with married lovers, but... “not smart?”

No, I couldn’t tolerate a stupid lover!

Originally Posted by AspiringAuthor

I believe that you are currently manic and need to show this thread to the psychiatrist. You are not making sense, because you started off by saying that you have sex once a week, which is definitely not excessive.

There are too many "hahahahaha" in the thread.

The idea that generic Abilify is so different from brand Abilify is dubious; did your psychiatrist confirm that?

You said that the sex buddy is good in bed and soon after said that you told him that you love him. If you love a man, you do not call him your sex buddy.

So it seems that you are rambling, not making much sense, and are at least hypomanic - no?

I am sorry if this is blunt and not what you expected, but I would prefer someone to catch me going up and not making sense.

Save for your generic Abilify comment, the remainder of your message is rubbish.

The OP is not rambling nor nonsensical. God knows that I love and have loved - Jesus! - dozens and dozens and dozens of people that were also my f**k-buddies.

Yes, regardless of sex, those that one loves can also be ‘sex buddies.’ Not everyone subscribes to the one love-one lover model of emotions and sexuality.

Originally Posted by bpforever1

I was trying to figure him out and realized he may have Asperger's. I was shocked at first. He won't admit he has Asperger's...

In his place, never having been diagnosed with Asperger's, I probably wouldn’t admit to it, either.

I really think that you may be tying this diagnosis on your friend, perhaps, because you’ve not revealed your BPID to him?

He sounds like an interesting guy. Has he completed his doctoral coursework?

[bpforever1]

Yes, he is a full-fledged doctorate. He is very bright. But, truthfully, I am getting busy learning Japanese again and may not have time to see him anymore. We speak in English when we meet. I want to immerse myself in Japanese from now on. I like him but he is too aloof for me at times. He is not emotionally involved with me. I am not that emotionally involved with him either. We were just sex buddies. I think he wants it to remain this way. I will let him go. For me, learning Japanese is more important than thinking about him. Sometimes, one has to focus on priorities. At least, he is always focused on his work so he knows his priorities. I was the one who was getting attached. But, now I feel my work is more important. I will live with the memories and forge onward.

[bpforever1]

I am no longer as horny as I was before. It may be due to my age. I am 50 years old. I don't feel the need for a lover anymore. I am happy.

[bpforever1]

The man with Asperger's wrote me. I wished him a Happy Birthday and he said thank you. I was surprised and did not expect him to write. I think he wants to see me again. I was ready to write him off because he never writes usually due to his obsession with work. But, he wrote me. I am so excited!! I'm such a dummy for him. He is a genius. When we are together he talks about his work, politics, languages, other esoteric subjects, and I'm smitten. Yup, he just meets me for sex, and I am so charmed by his wit. It is like being with a robot at times. He writes one word or two, and I feel overwhelmed. Oh well, I like him. He's good in bed too. What an idiot I am!!

Originally Posted by bpforever1

I am no longer as horny as I was before. It may be due to my age. I am 50 years old. I don't feel the need for a lover anymore. I am happy.

Mmm. That’s just weird. You weren’t in a manic phase when you had a high “sex drive,” and, now, you’ve shed your libido for... what?

Listen: every human needs touch. If you have had a history of being a normal, sexual human, you know that genitals need to feel touch occasionally.

I read a wonderful book - What Dying People Want - and “touch” was #1 on the list. Naturally, the dying (usually catheterized) don’t always want genital stimulation - but I know of some who have.

My hope is that you will not forego touch. Not at 50, not at 80. My need for sex is latent during the week but comes alive on weekends. I find it... delicious... that sex takes so much longer, now. Maybe you’ll become horny again with the right stimulus?